Three days after he called two black hecklers "niggers" during a performance at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles on Friday night, Michael ("Cosmo Kramer") Richards appeared on Letterman last night via satellite to issue an apology at the urging of Jerry Seinfeld, who was a scheduled guest. Richards says:

For me to be at a comedy club and flip out and say this crap, I'm deeply, deeply sorry. I'm not a racist. That's what's so insane about this.

What's also insane is apologizing for being a racist then referring to black people as "blacks" and "Afro-Americans." Instead of saying this on TV, he should have said this while walking down the steps of the plantation in a white linen suit and sipping on some iced tea.

If you haven't seen the video of the actual incident yet, here it is.


150 years ago, I would have let Christina Milan live in the house:

According to singer Joshua Radin, Paris Hilton threw up on stage while lip syncing in a Las Vegas nightclub recently. Hilton, who was in Vegas at a Jay-Z show, jumped on stage after the rapper's set. Radin says:

Paris Hilton ...was sitting next to me the whole night. Seriously, next to me, like our legs were touching for a good 5 hours...She must have pulled a compact out of her bag every 6 minutes to stare at herself and pose while Jay-Z was performing 18 inches from us...Paris, who had been swilling straight vodka from [a] Grey Goose bottle for hours, gets up on stage, has the people in charge throw her 'record' on the house stereo for her to lip sync two of her songs...She gets up on the stage, pukes, leaves..."

The only thing for worse than regular Paris Hilton is a puking Paris Hilton. It's like a homeless man with dog crap in his teeth. You'd think there would be no possible way for him to be more disgusting, but turns out you were wrong.

Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and their hair extensions in Las Vegas on Nov. 19th:


Source

Just two weeks after her last wreck, Lindsay Lohan was involved in another car accident in London over the weekend.

[Lohan]narrowly escaped injury when her Range Rover collided with a police car in London...The Mean Girls actress, 20, was partying with notorious London socialite Calum Best - son of late soccer legend George Best - when her vehicle crashed into the police car..."

At this point, Lindsay either needs a jet pack or a camel to get around, because this is her fourth car accident in 18 months. I could drive with my feet through an obstacle course and not hit as many things as this whore.

Lindsay Lohan leaving the The Kabaret Club in London this morning:


Source

• Posh Spice and J-Lo will make ugly clothes together [Hollywood Rag]
• Paris Hilton tries to upstage Jay-Z (video) [Hollywood Tuna]
• David Blaine's latest stunt began today [Dlisted]
• Carrot Top's face wreck [City Rag]
• Tyra Banks hangs out in her bikini [Egotastic]
• New Tom and "Kate" wedding pictures [Just Jared]
• John Mayer has really bad taste in women [A Socialite's Life]
• Rosie vs. Kelly vs. Clay [Popsugar]
• Would You Like Coliform Bacteria With That? (Fast Food Nation) [Pajiba]
  

Even though she was only one of the many stars to attend the lavish Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes "wedding," Jennifer Lopez apparently thought the day was about her. Us reports:

Tom Cruise and Holmes kindly arranged for a private plane to bring some of their more famous friends to Italy for their wedding. But a source tells Us Weekly that, hours before Jada Pinkett Smith, Leah Remini and Jerry Maguire director Cameron Crowe boarded the chartered 757 to Rome, "Jennifer Lopez sent her assistant to secure seats by laying her belongings on all the best seats!" Lopez also flew her hairstylist, Ken Paves, into Rome and set him up at the posh Hotel Hassler to do her hair for the big day. Meanwhile, it's supposed to be the bride's special weekend, but the singer made sure that all eyes were on her at a group dinner at the restaurant Nino on Thursday night. Says a source, "The November 16 welcome dinner was supposed to be casual. But J.Lo, of course, wore a gown. So much for casual." And the special treatment didn't stop there. At 2:33 a.m. in the wee hours after the wedding, Lopez, 37, had a waiter sneak two doggie bags to her and husband Marc Anthony, 38, as they were on their way to the airport to return to the States."

If Jennifer Lopez couldn't trick people into thinking that she has an unbelievable ass, she'd be doing nails or cleaning my hotel room. She has no discernible talent, yet she's by far the biggest bitch in Hollywood. Every story you hear about her is the same. I'd never advocate violence against women (unless they ask), but if you see Jennifer Lopez walking down the street, remember blades don't need reloading.

J-Lo and corpse at Friends Of The LA Free Clinic Annual Dinner Gala Nov. 20:

This is Kirsten Dunst and her attempt to distract you from her mangled mouth. If her nightmarish fangs weren't already ... well ... the stuff of nightmares, her inverted right nipple in this dress should top it off. On any other female (except Cameron Diaz and J-Lo, natch) this would be a non-issue, but on Dumpst it's akin to the Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors. The upper half of Kirsten Dunst is a hideous vampire-thing and the lower half is a Venus Flytrap. It's the best of both worlds, if by "best" you mean "Hell" and "both worlds" you mean "Ralph" and "Barf."



Note: Some complainers are whining that these pictures are supposedly "old." I don't care. So suck it.

For some reason this clip of Mischa Barton in The Oh in Ohio has surfaced and people are excited about it so I'm posting it.

I'm sure glad she kept those nipples covered because I was beginning to worry that she would sacrifice her morals for the sake of sex appeal and added fame. Never mind the fact that she walks around with her butt hanging out in mangled nylons, and flashed her nipples before, and sits in chairs with skirts on and her legs spread, and forgets to wear tampons, this girl is all about modesty and high class stuff. Or maybe aliens stole her nipples. Hell, I don't know.


Source

If these pictures of her and Donna Karan at the Gold Fragrance launch party in London tell us anything, it's that you only have to be a human to hook up with Lindsay Lohan. I guess Donna Karan technically qualifies as human even though she looks like she might have gills. If I drove past her house, I'd fully expect to see villagers with torches and pitchforks, not Lindsay Lohan in thong.