A blind item in the New York Daily News asks:

Which Middle-American pop star, who really should have learned to stay off the Internet, has been chatting online again? Apparently his ultimate romantic ambition is a simultaneous date with an entire NBA team (except he didn't use quite those words)."

As a dude, I can think of 10,000 other things more romantic than getting gangbanged by 12 seven foot tall black and Croatian guys. Maybe it's the homosexual equivalent of having sex with the entire squad of Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, except your ass wouldn't require reconstructive surgery afterwards.


Here's Katharine McPhee to gay this post down a little bit:

In the January issue of US Weekly, close friends of the Friends star say that Jennifer Aniston's emotional health, still fragile because of Vince Vaughn's cheating, has suffered since Angelina's recent interview with Vogue and the Oscar-winning actress' current promotional tour for The Good Shepherd. Outlook not good:

On the effect of seeing pictures of baby Shiloh:
"she collapses in a heap, clutching her womb like she's been stabbed if she so much as passes a baby stroller on the street."

On how she deal with it:
"throwing baby dolls into a bonfire on the beach behind her place in Malibu. It's creepy, but she says it makes her feel better for a few hours."

Hey, there's a bright side:
"At least she's stopped watching 'Mr. & Mrs. Smith' over and over again, for days at a time without eating or sleeping. That just wasn't healthy."

Yikes. There's bad, and then there's this. Jennifer Aniston could eat live bunnies and seem less crazy. In Jennifer's defense, it must suck knowing that the only reason you were ever considered A-list has moved on and started a family with someone who is better than you in every possible way. Not in Jennifer's defense, it's been two years. If my math is right, this means it takes less time for a newborn baby to speak in complete sentences than it does for Jennifer Aniston to realize Brad Pitt isn't coming back home.

Jen at the L.A. premiere of Dirt:


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Lindsay Lohan partied at the world famous strip club, Scores, less than a week after rambling in an email that all strippers are whores and cunts.

I love strippers," the 20-year-old actress gushed as she entered the famed mammary mecca at 12:30 a.m., and launched into a half-hour deejay shift during the club's "Turntable Tuesdays." Next, "She got up on the stripper pole and began to dance with the Scores Girls with 400 customers cheering her on," said our source. "Then, she joined her entourage of 15 in the VIP area, and got lap dances from many of the girls, including a special double-dance from two strippers at once."

Lohan spent part of her three hour visit pulling topless dancers into the bathroom to apologize for her recent remarks. The strippers know Lohan is an idiot so they didn't take it personally:

Katia, a blond, 34D-25-33 knockout, told us, "She was big tipper, and I think that she is great..." Brooke, an impressive 34C-24-34, added, "She'll make a good stripper - she's a natural."

Those poor customers. Pretending to cheer so the pasty freckled wreck will hurry up and get off stage. It's Scores, even the strippers that work the day shift are a billion times hotter than Lindsay Lohan. I'm surprised all the customers didn't leave and come back with torches and pitchforks.

Lindsay at LAX on December 23rd:


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• Mike Tyson gets arrested [Hollywood Rag]
• Victoria Beckham wears a see thru shirt [Hollywood Tuna]
• FYI: Dakota Fanning's rape scene went well [Dlisted]
• Keith Urban or Billy Ray Cyrus? [City Rag]
• Nicole Richie doesn't know how to eat [Egotastic]
• The Pitts in Panama [Just Jared]
• Jessica Simpson is depressed [Popsugar]
• Keith Urban is not out of rehab [A Socialite's Life]
• Rejected Wii Games [College Humor]
• I am - Paris Hilton strips for midgets of the day [Drunken Stepfather]
• Mind of Mencia is "Never Funny" [Drivl]
  
• William Shatner was homeless [Horny Oyster]
  

As the new "face" of Bondi Blonde beer, Paris Hilton has been in Australia the past few days, and as you might have guessed, it didn't take her long to make sure she was the center of attention. This is her rinsing off in the public shower area after swimming in Bondi Beach amidst a crowd of reporters. I know she thinks she's hot, but I'd rather look at video if me being attacked by a shark than watch this mutant try to be sexy. For the life me, I can't understand why companies still hire this idiot. I hope they don't think her glass eye and size 20 feet are going to make me buy beer. They should have just saved their money and hired Big Bird, because it would be pretty much the same thing.


Paris and Kim Kadashian in Sydney yesterday:

Lina sent us the official teaser trailer for Grindhouse which is an exploitation double feature directed by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino. Fuggie Fergie is one of the stars of the movie, but I got over that as soon as sexy Rose McGowan with a machine gun for a leg appeared. The only way the movie could look sexier is if Rose blew Fuggie's head off during the opening credits and that was the most you saw of her in the movie. And then Rose and I had sex with each other through the rest of the movie and she used her gun leg to kill anyone who dared to interrupt us, unless it was another hot chick, then they'd join us. And then Quentin Tarantino would yell "Cut!" and complain he didn't have any lines in his own movie yet and John Travolta would surprise us with a dance scene ... yeah, it could be better, but it still looks pretty damn good.


See the official Grindhouse site here.

Tara's suggestions for New Year's resolutions are as follows:

- Smoke. Anything.
- Water - Not for drinking. Only for bathing and only occasionally.
- Plastic surgeons - Visit as often as possible and only use the ones with discount prices and rap sheets.
- Open bars - Yay.
- Exercise - Nay.
- Introspection and reflection - niner?

While you spent Christmas watching football and hitting on your brother's girlfriend, Angelina and Brad Pitt spent Christmas Day at a Colombian refugee camp in Costa Rica handing out gifts to children. The refugees are part of the 11,500 reported refugees that have fled to Costa Rica due to the ongoing conflict in their homeland between leftist guerrillas, soldiers and paramilitary forces. In a statement, Jolie said:

We had a wonderful Christmas both with the Costa Rican people and the Colombian refugee families we met...The conflict in Colombia is the greatest humanitarian tragedy in the Western Hemisphere, but it receives very little international attention. My Christmas message to Colombian refugees and to the millions of displaced people in Colombia is that the world has not totally forgotten them."

This makes the third holiday in two years that Angelina and Brad have spent with underprivileged people. For Thanksgiving in 2005, the couple visited Pakistan earthquake victims. This year, they spent Thanksgiving in Maddox's homeland of Cambodia where she promised $1.3 million toward the country's ongoing conservation efforts. This also makes the third time in two years that I've dropped my change from Starbucks into the Salvation Army kettle. It would make it easier to make fun of them if Angelina and Brad weren't beautiful, rich, talented, selfless, generous and socially aware. They could easily be mindless idiots like most of Hollywood, but they're not. Angelina Jolie is basically Mother Theresa with DSLs and way more sexual tension.


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