Hey look, Britney Spears wearing a see through dress on Friday night. I bet you didn't expect that one. I guess she wants us to know she owns a bra and a pair of panties. She also wants us to know that she's a damn idiot. I could be tossed out of an airplane with my suitcase at night and pick out an outfit that looks better than this. The only way we could see more of this train wreck at this point is if we looked at her x-ray.

Reigning Miss USA, Tara Conner, has been forced to move out of her Trump Place apartment and back to her native Kentucky after testing positive for cocaine and being a slut. The results of the test come after rampant rumors of drug use left pageant officials no choice but to order Conner to take a drug test. In addition, Conner has been seen making out with current Miss Teen USA, Katie Blair, in public and she reportedly sneaked different men into her apartment at night on a routine basis. A source says:

Tara was a party animal...I've seen them kiss before. They always dance all sexy on the tables. ... They definitely get close."

A less sexy source said:

She has a really bad drug problem. Everyone at Miss USA hated her. She slept with [Blink 182's] Travis Barker and she sleeps with all the club promoters...She was latching onto a crew of promoters because she had no other friends and she was using them for drugs. She started utilizing hip New York City people in the night-life scene to feed her addictions. I cut her off when she started leeching off all the other people I introduced her to."

Yikes. The only way this could have gotten any worse for this chick is if they found little boy heads in her refrigerator or Osama Bin Laden hiding under her bed. On the bright side, Tara Conner is the shining example of all that divorce has to offer. I have two words for any dude wanting to bang a hot girl like this: daddy issues.


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While preparing for her role as a stripper in the upcoming film, I Know Who Killed Me, Lindsay Lohan somehow managed to get covered in bruises. Page Six reports:

An e-mail she sent to pals last week has the subject title: "They're all whores, they're all whores . . . xcept for some obviously!" Lohan wrote in the note, "So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we're talkin' like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn't know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the cunts now. . . I'm not gonna lie to ya."

Her representative, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, says:

She's been in rehearsals for the film and has been taking classes from Sheila Kelly. Her character is a stripper, and she now realizes that the job isn't easy. We should give these women credit."

I seriously wonder what kind of industrial strength dinosaur tranquilizer Zelnik has to take to fall asleep at night because of Lindsay's rambling drunk ass. Zelnik isn't a publicist anymore, she's The Man with the Yellow Hat. But instead of shaking her head because her cute little monkey stole some balloons at a picnic, she has night sweats because Lindsay can only seem to figure out how to use a Blackberry when she's high.

Lindsay on December 15th:


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In a recent blog entry on her MySpace account, Paris Hilton defended her then best friend Britney Spears' honor and "partying ethics," claiming that the former teen queen deserved a little fun. Paris writes:

Anyone who has called her out on this should really be ashamed. There are thousands of mothers out there who like to go out and have a good time. But, you do not see people out there calling them 'bad parents.' She's young, and if she wants to go out and have some fun, let her."

Now, since Britney has basically disowned her, the blog entry has magically disappeared and her representative, the equally vile Elliot Mintz, is now saying it was never there.

Paris did not write it. She does not have a MySpace account."

Well, of course this whore has a MySpace account. No way she's going to miss out on an opportunity to hear how perfect and great she is from all the mindless idiots who look up to her. Most MySpace blog entries are desperate cries for attention from self-important loners or chicks with webcams, so Paris must've seemed like a real hero to all her "friends" taking up for Britney like that. Except, the thing is, she's not. But not that you'd ever know that from Elliot Mintz. Paris could give some dude syphilis, and Elliot Mintz would release a statement praising her for not giving him AIDS.

Paris and Elisha Cuthbert on Dec. 12th:


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Despite it being hailed as Beyonce Knowles' movie star-making vehicle, American Idol castoff Jennifer Hudson continues to receive critical acclaim for her role as Effie in the upcoming film, Dreamgirls. Beyonce on the other hand, well, um...yeah:

The weakest link is the stunning Knowles. The camera clearly loves her, and her singing is not in contention, but as an actress, she has a vapid quality. Despite the array of dazzling fashion ensembles, and the effort to channel Diana Ross, her performance remains one-note, particularly in contrast to Hudson's nuanced portrayal."

Please keep in mind that the studio is only promoting Beyonce for consideration for all Best Actress nominations, relegating Jennifer Hudson to Best Supporting Actress by the strength of her performance alone. According to some Hollywood insiders, they believe Hudson is mortal lock to win the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. They also believe Beyonce is a mortal lock to cry herself to sleep or to sit in a burning pentagram with a Jennifer Hudson voodoo doll.

Beyonce at the Dreamgirls premiere:


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Through a statement from her publicist, Bridget Moynahan has revealed she and New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, have broken up after three years of dating.

Bridget Moynahan and Tom Brady amicably ended their three year relationship several weeks ago. We ask for your respect and consideration of their privacy. No further comments will be made."

Tom Brady has three Super Bowl rings, two Super Bowl MVP trophies, three Pro Bowl appearances, a Sportsman of the Year award and looks like Matt Damon if Matt Damon was 1,000 times better looking. Bridget Moynahan was in I, Robot. I just don't see how Tom Brady is going to get over this. Oh, I know, by going into any bar in America and having more asses in his lap than Santa.


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• Britney's boyfriend robs the cradle [Dlisted]
• Courtney Love wants to make up with Madonna [Hollywood Rag]
• Gisele Bundchen windsurfs in a bikini [Hollywood Tuna]
• Karolina Kurkova picks her butt [City Rag]
• Sienna Miller is still trying too hard [Egotastic]
• Christmas party in The Office [Just Jared]
• Vanessa Minnillo shops for babies [Popsugar]
• Lindsay Lohan parties with Brandon Davis [A Socialite's Life]
  

In an interview yesterday on Good Morning America, Angelina Jolie said she and Brad Pitt want more children and they plan to adopt in order to "balance" the crayola box they call home. She says:

I want Mad (Maddox) to know that as our family grew and we all came together, we didn't just start having children, biological children. Yes, we have Shiloh and it's been a wonderful experience, but we want to find another brother or sister in the world for our family...I'm on the pill...You know, now the questions are more when you have a mixed-race family, do you balance the races so there's another African person in the house for Z? So there's another Asian person in the house for Mad? Shiloh has Brad and I she can look at...What's best for the children as they grow? ... We don't just want to have different children from different countries. That's not the point."

Dear Lord, what is the point? I feel so sorry for Maddox. In five years he'll be posing for the family Christmas card next to a sea monkey, an ogre, and a Masai warrior riding a magic dragon.

Angelina on Good Morning America with the cast of The Good Shepherd:


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