Even More of Paris Hilton's Crap


There's a line I'm not supposed to cross which would normally prevent me from doing posts like this, but I looked for the line and couldn't find it. That's because this is Paris Hilton (a.k.a. Amber Taylor) we're talking about and there are no moral or ethical boundaries where she's concerned. At this point Paris Hilton could cover herself in a candy coating, shove a 10 foot stick up her ass, call herself a heaven flavored lollipop and smart people still wouldn't lick her. All of her STDs could band together and turn her into a giant, mutant mold spore and the dumb people will still have sex with her. Why? Because they're dumb. Duh!




Thanks to Mark for sending these in!

Update: Here are a couple videos that finally uploaded featuring such great hits as, "We're like two niggers," and "I get fucked in the butt for coke!" Enjoy.



Update II: Aaand even more crap thanks to Sarah and Brian via email. Here's Paris smoking pot, asking someone for "E" (ecstasy) and referring to an Asian guy at the party as "The Chink." Bon appetit.



Source: ParisExposed.com

Tags: Paris Hilton, video, racist, nude, homophobic, cocaine, herpes, paris exposed

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Britney Wants Justin Back

Britney Spears, who allegedly lost her virginity to Justin Timberlake, is reportedly desperate to get him back. Friends say she has been talking about Justin for months and supposedly only dated Isaac "Eyezik" Cohen to make Justin jealous. A source says:

Britney gets an ego boost by parading her piece of eye candy around! Britney hopes Justin will think more of her now she's been seen with a successful guy like Isaac, because she isn't hanging out with a loser like Kevin anymore. She wants to prove she can still land a good-looking and desirable guy."

It's unclear at this point what level of retard Britney is (she hasn't been tested yet), but she's probably somewhere between a frog and this can of Coke. Yeah, Justin's gonna be real jealous. Isaac Cohen is Kevin Federline with a Star of David on his wifebeater. He's so successful that no one has ever heard of him. Meanwhile, Justin is in a hotel somewhere with Jessica Biel's panties in his teeth. Britney's plan can't go wrong!


Source


Update: Here's K-Fed's Nationwide Super Bowl commercial for those of you who haven't seen it yet.

Ivanka Trump is a Mystery


There has been a lot of speculation that Ivanka Trump recently got breast implants and one may argue that these pictures of her and her lopsided rack from the 50th Annual International Red Cross Ball are further proof. I don't remember her with small boobs, but I've also never noticed her before, so who knows. Either way, it's obvious that she needs to get naked to sort this whole thing out. Like the time I had to take off my pants to prove to the townsfolk I wasn't a witch. I mean, my horse fell in the well. What was I gonna do, leave him there?

Paris is Too Late


Paris Hilton has filed a federal lawsuit with the intent of shutting down ParisExposed.com. The website, which launched last week, charges visitors a $39.97 fee to access pictures, videos and other personal items that Paris left in a storage facility. Her publicist, Elliot Mintz, says that Paris would like all items returned to her.

The 25-year-old heiress said a moving company was supposed to pay the storage fees and was "shocked and surprised" to learn her belongings were sold at a public auction..."I was appalled to learn that people are exploiting my and my sisters' private personal belongings for commercial gain," Hilton said in a declaration supporting the lawsuit, adding she was concerned the information could be used for identity theft or harassment...The lawsuit alleges defendants Nabil and Nabila Haniss paid $2,775 for the contents of the storage unit and later sold the items for $10 million to entrepreneur Bardia Persa, who created the site ParisExposed.com."

The second the website went up, everything was instantly on a billion other sites, so shutting it down isn't going to matter. The good news is that the next time this happens (and it will), nobody is gonna care. We've seen everything already. You could release a sex tape with the Chicago Bears and Godzilla and it would seem a little redundant.


Watch one of the NSFW videos here.




Source

Related entries:
Paris Hilton Has More Sex Tapes and Herpes
More of Paris Hilton's Crap

Tags: Paris Hilton, video, paris, hilton, racist, herpes, homophobia, cocaine, paris exposed

Don't Stop 'Till You Link Enough

The SAG Awards Were Last Night


I can't tell from these pictures, but I'm pretty sure Ellen Pompeo has gills or a tail. Either that or she needs to mate with a human to save her alien race. Eva Longoria looked hot, but what's going on with Tony Parker's face? He looks like he ran through barb wire or got attacked by Wolverine. Rachel McAdams forgot her Hello Kitty backpack. Good thing Reese Witherspoon is finally trying to cover up her gigantic forehead. Seriously, her head can't be normal. She could donate her bangs to Locks of Love.



Victoria Beckham is Too Cheap

Although she and her husband are best friends with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, friends say Victoria Beckham has no intentions of becoming a Scientologist. Victoria recently told a friend, "There's no way I'd spend any money on that nonsense." Her friend elaborates:

It's completely laughable that there's even talk of her becoming a Scientologist. Just because people are friends with someone doesn't mean they do everything they do. Scientology is like kabbala in that it's become all about money. Kabbala bracelets are now $28! It's a joke...Scientology is an expensive religion; Victoria is too cheap to convert."

You'd think she is being sarcastic with the $250 million her husband is about to make, but this is just Posh trying to be nice. It's not too expensive, it's just too crazy. Scientology would make more sense if it was based on Pokemon or your cat's dreams.


Source

More SAG Awards Stuff


Anne Hathaway is a brunette with a great rack, so you'd think it'd be scientifically impossible for her to be this boring. She's like a Nicholas Sparks movie with less sexual tension. It takes a lot of work to make Katherine Heigl look like the lion from Wizard of Oz, so congratulations whoever you are. I'm just gonna assume you're gay. Hey, Jaime Pressly is pregnant. When asked how she looked, 99 out of the 100 penises surveyed said they would still have sex with her.