Queen Latifah and
Vince Vaughn are giants by Hollywood's outta whack height standards, but look at
Eva Longoria. I had no idea what a midget this girl is. If I was a hostess at a restaurant and Eva came strolling in for dinner, I'd offer the grown-ups in her group a booster seat for their toddler and then point to Eva. Then they'd tell me, "That's Eva Longoria." And I'd say, "Hi there, little Eva, how old are you? Are you this many?" as I'm holding up four fingers. It would pretty much go like that until I got fired and collected unemployment.
I couldn't think of any way to make fun of
Ali Larter. She played it safe and looks hot. So I'll just write "nipples" and move on...
In addition to having a last name that sounds like a section of a Victoria's Secret store,
Hayden Panettiere was born on August 21, 1989 which makes her like 10 years old or something. Each time I started to write about her, my curtains would move because of the
Dateline cameras behind them. So I'll just drink my sweet tea they made for me and shut up.
I didn't watch the show and now I'm saddened because I missed
Robin Williams. I love the way he exhausts me with the same routine he's been using since 1910 which is drenched with neverending, unfunny impressions of famous people. I hope he went up there and said, "Robin couldn't be here, so Jack Nicholson and John Wayne will be accepting this award on his behalf." and then Robin went back and forth acting like Jack and John were talking to each other and the people in the audience did that ass kissing, bullshit, secretly embarrassed for him laughing. Aw man, he's great.
Although Kim Kardashian has gone on record saying the reported sex tape of her and R&B singer, Ray J, does not exist, a source says Kardashian is actively involved with the sale of the tape but is doing so through a third party. This would give Kardashian a cut of the alleged $1 million asking price, but it would also give her control of what is released, which appears to be her biggest concern. The source says:
A week after firing Paris Hilton for being Paris Hilton, Club Paris owner, Fred Khalilian, has been ordered by the courts to give a videotaped deposition in an unrelated lawsuit against the hotel heiress. Paris is due in court February 5th where she is being sued for libel and $10 million by model/actress/producer, Zeta Graff. Paris told the press that Graff attacked Paris at a "London nightclub and tried to rip off Hilton's $4 million necklace." Graff claims the story was fabricated. Khalilian says:
Marilyn Manson and his wife, burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese, separated about two weeks ago and the reasons for the split are starting to hit the gossip world. Dita allegedly left Manson because of his hard partying and heavy drinking. Manson was so drunk, he didn't even realize his wife had left him. And, naturally, Lindsay Lohan managed to whore herself into this story.
