Australian Big Brother is Diabolical


Producers for the Australian version of Big Brother are facing public outcry after they have refused to tell one of the house guests that her father has died. Emma Cornell, an Australian model, has yet to be told that her father, Raymond Cornell, lost his battle with cancer earlier this month. New York Post reports:

The show's producers have so far refused to break the traditional "BB" ban on letting contestants hear any news from the outside world - including the death of a family member. Two studio-audience members this week held up a sign reading, "Emma, Your Dad is Dead," before being hustled out and barred for good. Emma didn't see the sign but, according to a recent online survey, over 80 percent of Australian TV viewers still believe she should be told about her dad's death. Her family, though, says that Emma was aware her dad could die while she was in the "BB" house."

Yikes, that's pretty bad. Although some might say it's not as bad as the time I told David Beckham I had a miscarriage when in reality I had an abortion. Sorry David, I'm a wild stallion and can't be tied down.


Update: Emma posed nude before, so here she is. (NSFW) Thanks, Bobby!

Jenna Jameson is Getting Worse Part Deux


Oh, Jenna Jenna Jenna. I thought we understood each other here. I noted how frightened I was with your transformation from hot, sweet, girl-next-door sexpot to ... puffy-mouth, bony-thing, and you said nothing. That lead me to believe you'd thought hard about it, and despite all your recent hardships, you were going to give eating and avoiding the plastic surgeon a go and surprise me, but no. Look at you. Why do you look exactly like that skeleton that stared back at me in my Biology class in 10th grade? And why does your mouth look like it's allergic to everything? And please stay away from these Heatherette kooks and David LaChapelle. They're clearly trying to turn you into (NSFW) Amanda Lepore Jr. and that's not good for anyone. Just to punish you, I'm putting half your DVDs in a closet and will refuse to watch them until you get better. Yeah, it's just me and the 350 DVDs I have left. Tough love, honey.

Victoria Beckham Hates Bloggers


Apparently tired of being called fugly, plastic and talentless Victoria Beckham has lashed out at celebrity gossip bloggers. She says:

I think these people are pretty spineless, the way they hide behind pseudo-names. They don't really know what's going on in anybody's lives. They're just sad people sat behind their computers."

Aw sweetie, let's calm down, ok? With your leathery skin and hideous implants, it's not our fault you look like some deformed sex robot mummy. Besides, most people in America who don't read this kinda stuff probably think you died in 1998. And by "think," I mean "couldn't give shit."

Posh being pulled over by police a few days ago:


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Jessica Beautiful Biel Takes Out the Trash


I dare you to pick out any chick in Hollywood, dress her up like Jessica Biel is here, look at her, and not scream in sheer terror. Let's see you try and keep that knife from your eyes after looking at pictures of Cameron Diaz first thing in the morning. You couldn't. You could, however, make a mix tape for Jessica Biel just by looking at her taking out the trash in slippers. You would even draw hearts and spray cologne on it. Because, let's face it, you'd be in love.

Paula Abdul is Whining


Page Six has procured an audio tape of a conference call that stars a crying Paula Abdul talking to a group of publicists, trashing her former publicist, Howard Bragman and having a meltdown over how she feels she is being treated. Here are some excerpts from the transcript:

I've never been treated this way and I've never seen anybody treated this way. This is just too much to stomach. I've been going through tremendous amounts of a difficult time...I do a call-in every week for OK! Magazine on 'American Idol.' Because of my brilliant job, they want to do a cover on me. I'm being told by Howard Bragman that I'm too old and no one will ever want to do a cover..I'm being tested. All I've ever wanted in my life is to be treated fairly and be treated with kindness. And I've never in my entire career been treated this way...Howard Bragman on Monday - he did some disgusting behavior. I had to go to Jimmy Kimmel with no publicist there. I go on with no publicist there and I pay this man...I don't understand how this man can call me a whining bitch. I've never in my life been called a whining bitch and a loser."

Wow, that's some pretty tough words from a woman whose career highlights include singing with a homeless cartoon cat and dancing at halftime. Truth is, Paula Abdul is a drunk mess who is also reportedly addicted painkillers because of her chronic back pain. If American Idol didn't exist, she'd be showing off her fresh dance moves to the middle-aged chicks in her class at the YMCA.

Beyonce is Packing Some Meat


Beyonce is on a European tour right now, and here she is in France. Also pictured is whatever that is in his her panties. We've commented many times on how impressed we are that her wig/extensions manage to stay on so well with all that constant torture (I mean, she's gotta be bald underneath all that, right?), but that has nothing on her obvious tucking skills. Beyonce and Fergie must have graduated from the Ru Paul School of Tucking.

POTC3 Kicked Ass


Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End broke the Memorial Day weekend opening record as it raked in $139.8 million in 4 days. As of today, the $300 million film has grossed $411 million worldwide. However, it is expected to fare far worse than it's predecessor, POTC: Dead Man's Chest, which grossed over $1 billion during it's theatrical run. Chris LeRoy, Buena Vista's senior vice president general sales manager attempts to sound disappointed:

I think it was hard to expect it to top No. 2 [Dead Man's Chest]. Market conditions change so much from one movie to the other. What we wanted to accomplish was to break the Memorial Day weekend record and we're very pleased with that. Spider-Man 3 had a wide open playing field and, though the market expanded to a spectacular degree [this weekend], there was just more competition. I don't like to put too much emphasis on what the opening weekend means."

The POTC trilogy has earned over $2 billion at the box office, so good luck trying to make me feel sorry for you there, buddy. I bet you can only just barely enjoy aiming for those bikini models' mouths in your Hollywood mansion. Speaking of which, do you know if Keira Knightley got any of my voicemails? I've been out of town and my phone was turned off so...


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