A week before her May 26th car accident and subsequent DUI arrest, sources are saying that Lindsay Lohan attempted suicide at least twice. One of those times she locked herself in the bathroom with a knife screaming she "just wanted to end it all." Star Magazine reports:

She grabbed a knife and started cutting at her wrists. A friend made her stop and went around looking for sharp objects. Lindsay ran into the bathroom with a bottle of Advil." Crying, "Leave me alone! I just want to die!" Lindsay locked herself in the bathroom and threatened to swallow the entire bottle, says the source. Finally, someone broke down the door and saved the distraught actress from herself!"...According to a source, Lindsay has been partying hard for weeks. She recently attended the Coachella musical festival, where she was drinking vodka, snorting cocaine and taking downers to sleep, says a source. "Lindsay's on a reckless road right now," declares another friend. "We're all afraid she's going to end up dead soon."

Yeah, us too. Except I wouldn't say we were "afraid." I'd say we're more along the lines of "praying." But apparently God thinks he's some kind of comedian because she's in rehab. Hey man, Moses walked through a sea but I can't get a Mercedes launched off a cliff? Oh, I see how it is.

Here are a couple vintage Lindsay Lohan and Long Island trash Dina Lohan pictures the New York Daily News dug up today:

Nicole Richie didn't want fat chicks at her party [Hollywood Rag]
2007 Miss Universe bikini pictures [Hollywood Tuna]
Let's hope Paris Hilton's cell mate eats her, literally [Dlisted]
Petra Nemcova parties in a short dress [Egotastic]
David Hyde Pierce is gay. No? Seriously? [Just Jared]
Jessica Alba has nice... [City Rag]
Posh Spice and David Beckham will probably be divorced soon [Popsugar]
Imogen Thomas lingerie shoot [Horny Oyster]
Kristen Bell gets the Star Wars nerds all excited [Popoholic]
Nicole Richie hiding her ugly rat face (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Celine Dion's son is a girl [ICYDK]

Like I said earlier, it's a slow news day, but I saw these pictures of Amy Lee (Evanescence) performing in Paris a couple days ago and was reminded of pre-shaved head, long black hair extensions Britney Spears. Is this the look Britney was going for? The same puffy face, short stumpy arms and silly costumes? Amy Lee pretty much only sticks to wardrobe like this for things like concerts and red carpet crap, but Britney mistakes these looks for everyday attire. I promise you if Madonna was pictured wearing an inflatable hot dog costume today, Britney would wear the same thing tomorrow. But Britney's costume would be dripping with mayonnaise, melted cheese and lard ... because naturally she'd try to eat herself.


P.S. I wouldn't call any of the people mentioned in this post "good singers" ("good entertainers," maybe), and add Jonathan Davis to that list, for good measure:

It's a miserably slow gossip day today, so much so that the biggest stories are Lindsay Lohan's whore boyfriend with whores, and Britney eating her hand, so here are some pictures of Matthew McConaughey on the set of Surfer Dude. It's pretty hard to say anything bad about Matthew McConaughey. He's almost 40 and looks like this. He prefers to live in an Airstream trailer next to the beach rather than in a mansion full of maids and servants. He also knows how to cook his own food, use tools and fix his own stuff (he's also an incredible naked bongos player). He's about as "all man" as most Hollywood stars get. This is what Tom Cruise pretends to be, but isn't. I heard whenever there's a leaky faucet or a light bulb burns out in Tom Cruise's house, he curls up in a ball on the floor and cries.

The Sun reportedly has camera phone footage of Calum Best, Lindsay Lohan's sometimes boyfriend, snorting cocaine and having sex with two prostitutes at Kensington's Rockwell Hotel last Wednesday. Call girl Casey James and her Brazilian friend, arrived at Best's room where they took turns blowing him and snorting coke:

Then he dropped his pants as the girls - who used a rolled-up banknote to snort coke off a glass table - simultaneously pleasured him. Gripped by lust he used his mobile phone to film a girl pleasuring him...After nearly three hours the girls asked a complaining Calum to leave - only for him to demand they should "learn some manners".

This is apparently nothing new, because a friend says Calum is sick and twisted deviant:

His father George may have been hooked on booze and women, but Calum has fallen to truly sickening depths."

Wow, this comes as a shock because you expect someone who hangs out with Lindsay Lohan to have a strong morals. Good thing Lindsay cut ties with this guy when she did because there's no telling where our poor little angel might have ended up!

Lindsay entering Promises rehab facility on Monday:

Just two days before she posted a rambling letter on her website in which she blamed other people for her problems, Britney Spears had to be carried out of the men's bathroom at LA's famous Sky Bar, where she was found vomiting uncontrollably. The Sun reports:

Out of it, she was overheard telling hotel staff: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Things aren't going well for me at the moment."..."Britney was found slumped over the toilet bowl with make-up smeared over her face and her wig hanging off. She had a room booked at the hotel but was too ill to stay and was begging her bodyguard to take her home. She looked a real mess and was sitting on the floor with her head over the bowl throwing up. There was vomit down the front of her black dress and around her mouth. Britney was on her knees and must have been sick four or five times. She didn't really seem with it' but I don't know if she was drunk or not. The mother-of-two then had to be helped out of the hotel because she couldn't stand up by herself."...The source added: "It was really sad. Everyone thinks she's getting back on track after her comeback shows but that's clearly not the case. I think she needs proper help."

The only people who need proper help is whoever had to clean up that bathroom. They just wanted to clean the cocaine off the sink and pick up the dropped $100 bills off the floor like every other night, not hose down all the beer and caramel pork rinds that came out of the drunk redneck curled up on the floor. I don't even wan't to know what it smelled like in there. My guess? Low tide.

Britney looking like absolute shit as usual:

Here are more photos of Lindsay Lohan less than 24 hours after her DUI. The ugly butch next to Lindsay is her rumored lover, Samantha Ronson. Nice friend, huh? She drove a fucked up, passed out Lindsay Lohan to a gas station so the paparazzi could gather and get great shots of her under the glare of the bright lights. My friends are almost as nice as Samantha. I only wake up sore and naked with penises and testicles drawn on my face with Sharpies. But my friends are nice enough to take pictures of the night so they can show me how much fun I had, since I always forget. I don't know, there's just something really impersonal about the paparazzi chronicling it for you.


Update: TMZ was able to confirm Lindsay checked herself into rehab yesterday.

Angelina Jolie's friends think she has an eating disorder [Dlisted]
Jenna Jameson lifeless at Vienna Life ball [Hollywood Rag]
Heather Locklear still sexy in a bikini [Hollywood Tuna]
Rose McGowan explained [City Rag]
Ben Affleck says Democrats are fucking weak [Popsugar]
Jessica Simpson's breasts will hypnotize you [Egotastic]
Sheryl Crow's baby hike [Just Jared]
Kristen Bell is on set in a bikini (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
We need more Shannon Elizabeth [Popoholic]
Shakira butchers AC/DC's Back in Black [Horny Oyster]
C.I.L.F.s "Cartoons I'd Like to Fuck" [College Humor]
Please Let the Ride Be Over (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End) [Pajiba]