Walking around with somebody's name branded on your ass is only acceptable if you're a farm animal, a prostitute, or a Cabbage Patch Kid. However, I'm pretty sure that Katie "Jordan" Price falls into all three categories, so we'll let this one slide.

Penelope Cruz has a ridiculous dress [Dlisted]
Jennifer Love Hewitt responds to the bikini pics [Hollywood Rag]
Jennifer Aniston's nose job [City Rag]
Lindsay Lohan is out whoring again [ASL]
Stacy Keibler is still alive [Hollywood Tuna]
Ashlee Simpson has crappy new music [Just Jared]
Ashton Kutcher is still getting paid to "act" [Popsugar]
Megan Gale is Wonder Woman [Popoholic]
Vanessa Hudgens showing off some leg (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Japanese Diarrhea [College Humor]
Kristen Bell has cleavage [Egotastic]
Nobody Puts Pajiba in a Corner (Dancing With the Stars) [Pajiba]
Yet another Paris Hilton upskirt (NSFW ads) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Eva Mendes and her sexy booty in Beverly Hills on Nov. 29:

Lindsay Lohan has been rumored to be completely broke for a while now, so it's no surprise that she reportedly tried to sell staged Thanksgiving dinner photos of her with her family to several celebrity magazines. Because, well, that's what whores do. MSNBC says:

Her asking price began in the six-figure range before dropping to $20,000. "She thinks she's a huge star. She thinks everyone is dying to read about her, but she's lost her fan base. Her decisions are being driven by cash, not repairing her image,"...Although her photos didn't earn her any money (and her rep denies the entire incident), word is that her Black Friday shopping trip did. Lohan was photographed shopping at an Armani Exchange and Intermix store in Manhattan on Nov. 23, and a source close to the rehabbed starlet says the trip wasn't just pre-arranged to give the paparazzi a heads up, she was paid for the visit, too. "Seems like everything Lindsay does is to make money," said the disillusioned source."

Wow, this has to be great news if you're a Lindsay Lohan fan. Pretty soon for a few hundred bucks and a couple bumps, she'll be available for birthdays and bachelor parties. Blowjobs? Oh yeah, those too.

A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila, the MTV show where 16 straight dudes and 16 lesbian women try to win the heart of that one Vietnamese whore from MySpace, is completely fake and will not be renewed because Tequila (real name: Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen) has been in a heterosexual relationship for over a year. I know, I couldn't believe it either! Page Six reports:

But it's "all a sham," says a source close to the show. "Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year, and she's not really bi. She's made out with some girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi at all." Our insider claims that MTV works hard to pretend she's single and available because she refuses to break up with her boyfriend, "who's like five years older than her. This is a massive scam . . . That's why they are not continuing with the show [for a second season], because she won't dump him."

Another theory for the cancellation is that Tila Tequila is really, really ugly. Seriously, if I was a contestant on something where this was the prize I'd slam my penis in a car door just in case.

The only interesting thing that happened on the show after the jump...

Some NSFW fake lesbian action:

On Monday, Kim Kardashian claimed that she was mobbed by fans at the JFK airport and a someone stole $50,000 worth of diamond jewelry, a Cartier watch, a laptop, and a digital camera from her luggage. Her representatives immediately insinuated it was an inside job committed by airline employees. Today, the police think something else. Page Six reports:

...law enforcement officials suspect it's a publicity stunt. Neither Port Authority cops, the NYPD nor the Queens district attorney has any report of a theft. Kardashian's reps didn't return calls."

I wonder what gave her away? Maybe the "mobbed by fans" part. Unless a city bus broke down nearby, nobody in that airport would've recognized this skank. The only way she'd get surrounded in an airport is if the terror alert level was raised.

Jennifer Love Hewitt gets engaged [ASL]
Ryan Gosling loses the fat [Just Jared]
Brad Pitt won't get naked anymore [Dlisted]
Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are for publicity [Hollywood Rag]
Steve-O is smoking weed again [City Rag]
Mary-Kate Olsen gets back to not eating [Popsugar]
Mischa Barton gets Photoshopped [Hollywood Tuna]
Charisma Carpenter is single [Popoholic]
Hayden Panettiere wears a thong (NSFW ads) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Penelope Cruz's lace bra (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
2 Girls, 1 Cup, 1 Grandma, 1 Reaction [College Humor]
Kristen Bell does Complex [Egotastic]
Steve Carell picks his nose in public [Webster's is my Bitch]
Elle MacPherson and Bryan Adams are having sex [Daily Mail]

Elle MacPherson topless on the beach (NSFW):

Britney's people are doing major damage control right now, but In Touch Weekly is doing a little damage control of their own - by sending their Blackberry messages with JR Rotem to everyone on their email list (omg, and we're on it!!).

In Touch Weekly has documented proof that JR Rotem confirmed to In Touch on Monday, November 26, 2007 that Britney Spears was pregnant and that he was the father. Before he denies this information, he should acknowledge that he confirmed the story to In Touch through text message.

Here are some of the texts:

IN TOUCH: They are saying Britney's pregnant and you're the father...

JR: It's true

IN TOUCH: OK, awesome. Do u think Britney will keep it? She's already talking about it to people

JR: No clue on what she will do. She is unpredictable."

I can't believe men still stick their unprotected penises inside Britney Spears. She's absolutely disgusting. You'd think men would care more about keeping their favorite body part intact. I picture Britney's vagina like the kids' room in Poltergeist. Everything inside is haunted, and when she opens her legs you hear screams and scary monsters jump out and growl at you ... then rip your dick off.

Click thumbnails for larger photos:


Related posts:

Britney Spears Went on a Date. Got Laid.
Gimme Gimme McDonald's

The first semi-decent, sorta HQ pictures showed up, so here's Hayden Panettiere's recent photoshoot from GQ. I appreciate the enthusiasm she's showing, but the only people who are going to enjoy this midget porn are people who need permission to leave the state and the Japanese. We get it, she's barely legal. Thanks for pointing that out, GQ. Maybe next time you can let her wear a Hello Kitty backpack or suck her thumb to make sure I'm fully creeped out.


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