Right, yeah, okay Jessica, I get it. You have a new cuntry album coming out and you fucked the Dallas Cowboys QB. Jessica Simpson is quite possibly the most annoying person I've never met. I'd rather pay the $18 a minute it costs to have the Soulja Boy and cute little bunny cuddling a carrot ringtones on my cell phone than ever see this bitch again. It would be worth the ass kicking I'd get in the feminine products aisle. Sorry I didn't put it on vibrate, cunts! Midol is over there!!!!

I have no idea who Amy Alexander is, but it turns out she's a UK Big Brother contestant. Somebody named Michelle Bass, playing the part of "Chick With Big Boobs #2," is also a UK Big Brother contestant. It's hard to tell why they would both be at the beach at the same time and decide to take their tops off with a photographer around, but I think it has something to do with their training for the 2009 Attention Whore Olympics. Good luck girls!

Click for NSFW pics:

At the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival on April 26th, Prince performed a cover of Radiohead's "Creep." Videos popped up all over the place, that was until the Prince demanded every copy be removed claiming copyright infringement. The only flaw in Prince's plan is that he doesn't own the song or the video. Billboard says:

After word spread that Prince covered Radiohead's "Creep" at Coachella, the tens of thousands who couldn't be there ran to YouTube for a peek. Everyone was quickly denied _ even Radiohead. All videos of Prince's unique rendition of Radiohead's early hit were quickly taken down, leaving only a message that his label, NPG Records, had removed the clips, claiming a copyright violation. But the posted videos were shot by fans and, obviously, the song isn't Prince's. In a recent interview, Thom Yorke said he heard about Prince's performance from a text message and thought it was "hilarious." Yorke laughed when his bandmate, guitarist Ed O'Brien, said the blocking had prevented him from seeing Prince's version of their song. "Really? He's blocked it?" asked Yorke, who figured it was their song to block or not. "Surely we should block it. Hang on a moment." Yorke added: "Well, tell him to unblock it. It's our ... song."

What Radiohead seems to be forgetting here is that Prince is nuts. Like the time he was sued by Utah Jazz forward, Carlos Boozer, after he rented Boozer's Los Angeles mansion and proceeded to paint it purple and install a beauty salon. I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if Prince doesn't sleep in a Peter Pan costume or ride to breakfast on a purple pony with braided hair.




Photos: Splash

Susan Sarandon is only tolerable because she has huge tits, but it's election time, so not even those can make us ignore her insane illogical ramblings. Liz Smith reports:

She says if John McCain gets elected, she will move to Italy or Canada. She adds, "It's a critical time, but I have faith in the American people."...What? You thought Susan of all people would be for Hillary Clinton? Well, no. She told John Hiscock: "I thought the whole point of feminism is that you're not supposed to be defined by gender. I don't understand the reasoning behind that, because I wouldn't vote for Condoleezza Rice, and I hated Margaret Thatcher."

Coincidentally, Sarandon's husband, Tim Robbins, and many other celebrities said the same thing before George Bush was elected both times. Guess what? They're still here. I wonder why they haven't left yet? I don't know her reasons, but I'm guessing they're mostly due to the fact that she lives in the fucking United States of America. An illegal immigrant would roll down a barbed wire lined volcano and feed his family to dinosaurs if it meant he could get a job cleaning up cigarette butts in a Denny's parking lot, but poor Miss Sarandon just won't be able to go on in her hilltop mansion if Obama isn't elected. If I turn out to be the winning bid *crosses fingers* for that nuclear missle auction on eBay, I'm gonna have a hard time deciding between Hollywood or Beverly Hills.



Photos: Splash

Unconfirmed reports were coming in from everywhere in France this morning claiming that Angelina Jolie had given birth to twins on Sunday in a Catholic clinic in the Aix-En-Provence region of France. ET has confirmed:

ET breaks news that ANGELINA JOLIE has had her twins! A source close to the actress confirms that she has given birth to twins in France. "Babies are great and so is mom," we're told. ET is also hearing that the names are ISLA (pronounced eye-la) Marcheline (after her Angie's mom) and AMELIE JANE (after Brad's mom) JOLIE-PITT. The babies are the fifth and sixth children for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, whose family consists of Maddox, 6, Pax, 4, Zahara, 3 and Shiloh, 2."

Other reports coming out of France today say that Benjamin Franklin and John Adams are busy negotiating the Treaty of Paris. Free and sovereign states now!

Update: People claims in their own "exclusive" that Angelina Jolie did not give birth according to one of Angelina's reps, "Angelina has not given birth. She is fine, enjoying her home and her family in France," a rep for the actress tells PEOPLE." The battle of the exclusives is on. Who will win, who will pay attention long enough to care how it ends?

Yesterday, it was revealed that Jennifer Butler-Murray, Bill Murray's wife of ten years had filed for divorce citing physical abuse and the actor's drug addiction. Bill Murray must have also had sex with her sister or best friend, because in more details released today, Jennifer Butler-Murray is making damn sure people think he is some sort of fire-breathing dragon. New York Post reports:

In 2006, the plaintiff moved to Sullivan's Island ... due to defendant's adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addiction [and] frequent abandonment," reads a complaint written by Butler-Murray's lawyer, Robert Rosen. But even after the move, the "Lost in Translation" actor, 57, often vanished for days seeking sex and drugs, his soon-to-be ex-wife said. "Defendant would often leave the state or country without telling the plaintiff," the petition reads. "Defendant travels overseas, where he engages in public and private altercations and sexual liaisons."

I'm not sure how somebody can be addicted to pot, but whatever. I'm more concerned why this chick hyphenates her name. I've searched medical journals and the list of Nobel prize winners and I can't seem to find the name "Jennifer Butler" anywhere, so I'm pretty sure marrying Bill Murray was the highlight of her life. She could invent a time machine or discover another planet and her obituary would still begin with, "Bill Murray's ex-wife, Jennifer..."

Billy Murray's former co-star, Scarlett Johansson, skinny dipping in her new movie:

For some reason, Britney Spears had a meeting with (Merv) Griffin Entertainment yesterday, and in case you didn't want to believe this dumb bitch was pregnant again, sorry. Either she's pregnant or she just swallowed a baby. The good news is that this meeting probably went well because Britney wore this sexy satin dress. With no bra. I feel like I should call out to her nipples because they've swum past the buoy, but I'm just too busy being turned on right now. Damn, why you so sexy Britney?

Christina Aguilera is drunk again [Dlisted]
Sarah McLachlan is in a bikini (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Supernanny offers Britney Spears advice [Hollywood Rag]
John Mayer's vacation away from Jennifer Aniston [Popsugar]
Josie Maran his a hot mess [Hollywood Tuna]
Mila Kunis has gas [Just Jared]
Angelina Jolie's nanny tells all [City Rag]
Aisleyne Horgan Wallace is topless (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are engaged [ASL]
Kim Kardashian is all ass [Egotastic]
Loads of Laughter [College Humor]
Grace Park does Complex magazine [Popoholic]

Posh Spice in terrifying new Marc Jacobs ads: