TMZ has the California court's statement of decision in the Sharon Stone child custody case and oh my God this bitch is crazy:

The court has released what it calls the "Tentative Statement of Decision." It is a highly sensitive document, which outlines a bitter, ongoing battle between Stone and ex-husband, Phil Bronstein. Among many things, the judge says, "Mother appears to overreact to many medical issues involving Roan." In one case, the judge describes Stone believing Roan had a spinal condition, but "there was no evidence to support this allegation." And then the court says, "Another example of an overreaction is that Mother suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As Father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odor problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child." The judge differentiated very distinctly the difference between Bronstein and Stone, saying, "Father has championed for Roan's well-being out of, what appears to this Court, nothing less than the unconditional love for his son. Unfortunately, and for unexplained reasons, it appears that Mother did not involve herself to the extent she could or should have in this process ... Mother has attempted to put up roadblocks to Roan's getting help, or has decided against participating in his care." The judge goes on: "Unfortunately, the problem caused by Mother's overreactions is painfully real for this child." There are many other specifics that we won't publish. The judge says at one point, responding to Stone's argument that she put her career on hold for Roan, "If Mother has, in fact, limited her career to make herself available for Roan, she has done little to make this evident to Roan, his school or this Court."

The judge didn't go on to say that Sharon Stone made her kid drop acid and walk around the mall the day after Thanksgiving. He also didn't say Sharon Stone injected herself with a serum that turned her into a werewolf just so she could jump out of her kid's closet at night, but c'mon, man. She totally did that shit.

I'd like to personally thank Jennifer Aniston for wearing a bikini and putting her ass in the air, because really, that's the only way she's tolerable. I tried to watch Rumor Has It one time but then I woke up with a long gray beard and curly fingernails. The robot scientists from the future said they had never seen anything like it!


Photos: Splash

I don't see why people are so uptight about Phoebe Price getting her panties adjusted in full view of photographers by some dude under her dress, but those people need to chill out. Open a history book. Queen Elizabeth and Jacqueline Kennedy were well known for doing this all the time. Some people can't handle this kind of elegance.


Photos: Splash

Elizabeth Hurley covers up for money [Hollywood Tuna]
Rumer Willis has orange hair (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Gemma Atkinson has a calendar [Popoholic]
Dita Von Teese has an extra homo top hat [Dlisted]
Jessica Simpson is still trying to help the Cowboys lose [Just Jared]
Russell Crowe looks like Kirstie Alley [City Rag]
Tom Cruise and Stepford Kate have another photo-op dinner [Popsugar]
The chipmunk from The Hills in more staged bikini photos [Egotastic]
Britney Spears is lying about her sex tape [Hollywood Rag]
Salma Hayek and her baby daddy are spending time together [Lainey Gossip]
Kendra Wilkinson flashes her implants again (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
The Gossip Girl boys do Details [Socialite Life]
The Dark Bailout [College Humor]

Banner photo: Aubrey O'Day making out with her dog a couple days ago.

Janet Jackson was rushed to Canada emergency room this weekend after she became ill before the Montreal stop on her "Rock Witchu" tour. People reports:

The singer "got suddenly ill during the sound check" before her concert in Montreal and had to be rushed to the hospital, according to a statement released by W&W Public Relations. Jackson, 42, is being monitored at the hospital, and hopes to reschedule the show. No further information was given about Jackson's condition."

This makes the second time that Janet Jackson has been mysteriously rushed to the hospital this year, and coincidentally, this will also make the second time I say this bitch is on steroids. Because when the "details" come out and say it was the flu, and they will, try to count how many times you've have to call an ambulance because you've had the flu. Now count how many times you've seen Janet Jackson look like this when she didn't have an album out then count how many times you've seen Janet Jackson look like this when she did have an album out. Guess what? A treadmill and a salmon filet won't do that. Steroids will. They may also make you go to the hospital, because apparently your heart doesn't like it when you lose 150 pounds overnight. Like Janet does. You could be fed through a wood chipper or become Apache Chief and control your weight better than Janet Jackson.

Promo stills for Megan Fox's new movie, How To Lose Friends and Alienate People, have been coming out for a while now, but most of them have included Kirsten Dunst, so good thing for the producers of this movie that I'm morally obligated to post anything including "Megan Fox" and "bra." I'm not gonna lie, though. These pictures hold a little bit of sentimental value for me. Look at that banner picture. Now imagine me standing next to Megan Fox pulling up my pants and feigning modesty, and this is exactly what my dreams have looked like for the past two years.

Adnan Ghalib, one of the greasy douche paparazzi who Britney Spears was humping for a while, is admitting he owns a sex tape starring Britney Spears which they made during this Mexico trip, and of course it's for sale. The Sun reports:

Adnan Ghalib, the British pap whom she dated during her breakdown, says he WILL sell the tape for the right price. He told Heat magazine: "There is such a tape, but I won't discuss prices for hypothetical enquiries. "Unless there is a locked-in deal, I will go no further. An unconfirmed source claims the two-hour X-rated footage features Britney naked wearing just a pink wig and was allegedly shot in Mexico. Adnan added: I am not interested in selling out any other details about Britney."

Gosh, I hope this tape is the Scratch-N-Sniff kind! Can you imagine how that room smelled? I'm thinking it was a blend of Drakkar Noir and low tide. Or maybe it's litter box and bat cave? Whatever it is, it's sexy, and worth every bit of the nothing I'm offering Adnan for it.

Update: 97.9 KISSFM in Jacksonville, FL has pictures of what they claim might be pictures from this sex tape. They say:

Now we can not confirm nor deny that these are Britney, but about six months ago, someone leaked these pictures, stating they were from Adnan, after a trip to Mexico. If you remember back then, she did have dark hair."

So here's who may or may not be Britney looking like a soaking wet crack whore in a cheap hotel bathtub. She has the ugly wrist tattoo(s?), the blackish hair (when she wasn't wearing the pink wig), the belly piercing, and what looks like a C-section scar, but we'll leave it for you to decide.

Update: Images removed per request of 97.9 KISSFM.

Note: The NSFW photos are being used with permission and are courtesy of 97.9 KISSFM. They have more pictures on their site so check them out.

Britney double fisting Frappuccinos a couple days ago:

Scarlett Johansson, 23, and her fiance of six months, Ryan Reynolds, 31, were married this weekend in Canada. Awww.Us Magazine says:

The wedding took place Saturday evening at a remote wilderness resort outside Vancouver. Guests included Scarlett's mother, Melanie Sloan, and her brother, Adrian Johansson. Johansson, 23, and Reynolds, 31, who had been dating since Spring 2007, announced their engagement on May 5, the day the actress flashed a three-carat diamond ring estimated to be worth about $30,000 at the Met Costume Ball Gala."

Three carats? That can't be right. Scarlett's rack is worth a good solid five.