The hi-res pictures of Katy Perry and her pasty ass are finally online, and I can't lie, she actually looks kinda doable here. Mostly because she's not talking or "singing" and you can't really make out her face, so you get to just concentrate on her tits. Damn, they look great. The only way I'm gonna see nicer tits today is if I meet some that just got out of sensitivity training or some that have a generally positive attitude because of their optimistic outlook on life.

Since nobody wanted to pay for pictures of their kid, Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson have posted the first image of Bronx Mowgli Wentz on Wentz's blog as a special present for you and me. Maybe they should have thought this over, because as far as presents go, this kinda sucks. If I wanted to see pictures of a baby, I would open those letters my ex-girlfriend sends me.

Oh, and this retard is his aunt:

Since the name of the site is Funny Or Die, I don't know who has to die for this video, but I can't be bothered with those kinda details when Jessica Biel is dressed up like Santa's Little Helper. To tell you the truth, I have no idea what this video is about, mostly because I didn't really pay attention, but it's the very reason why Christmas is so kick ass. The outfits in Kwanzaa and Hanukkah just don't resonate with my penis. Jesus is awesome!

Here's our list of top posts from 2008:

1. Jessica Alba is Unshaven


2. Lily Allen Nipple Slips Again


3. Megan Fox Has Nipples


4. George Clooney's Girlfriend is a Slut


5. Sarah Michelle Gellar is Slutty


6. Marisa Tomei is a Stripper


7. Dita Von Teese Has a Sex Tape


8. Kristin Davis Has a Sex Tape


9. Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape Picture?


10. Emma Watson Upskirt Time!

There was a time back in 1991 where I would have sold my parents into slavery to go down on Stephanie Seymour. Unfortunately, it's now 2008. Don't get me wrong, she's still kinda hot, but I probably wouldn't sell my mother for a piece now. Especially since I found out that she bought me the sweater I wanted for Christmas. It has puppies and baby ducks in Santa hats! How cute!



Photos: Splash

I'll never forgive Dolph Lundgren for killing Apollo Creed, but I'd never say that to his face, because even at 51 he looks like he could still punch through my stomach and pull out the bagel I just ate. So, I'll just compliment his wife's tits. They're pretty nice. Maybe. Or maybe not. No, they are. I mean, she's a lovely woman....and, uh...wait, no...please Dolph don't hit me! Not in the face! Not the face!

Click for NSFW photos:



Photos: Splash

Samantha Ronson was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center yesterday. Her publicist also rushed to think of a good reason. Life & Style reports:

"Friends of celebrity DJ Sam Ronson tell Life & Style they received frantic phone calls last night that the DJ was suffering from exhaustion and stress. "She was calling around. She knew she had done something wrong," the friend tells Life & Style. Early this morning, doctors were immediately called to the house. "She's been suffering from depression and from lack of food and sleep. Gal pal Lindsay Lohan has been helping her through this as she has been through it herself two years ago." Friends, family and Lindsay Lohan are by her side. A rep for Lindsay Lohan did not want to comment."

Yeah, I'm sure "exhaustion" was it. How could it not be? In fact, I was just watching CNN and they said exhaustion was the leading cause of hospital visits for privileged white girls who were born rich. They just do too much, the report went on to say.

Lindsay and Samantha out clubbing on December 17th:


Photos: Splash

Britney Spears will probably kill someone [Dlisted]
Pamela Anderson is a classic beauty [Hollywood Tuna]
Portia de Rossi loves her wife [Just Jared]
Lily Allen is see through (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Danielle Lloyd's topless Christmas (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
John Mayer hates Jennifer Aniston's dogs [Socialite Life]
The Day Laughter Died (Yes Man) [Pajiba]
Madonna is doing it with Jesus [Hollywood Rag]
Brangelina collector plates are here [City Rag]
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are doing more photo-ops [Popsugar]
Hilary Duff's Maxim outtakes [Popoholic]
Eva Mendes is kinda see through [Egotastic]
Robert Pattinson cuts hair, makes Twilight losers cry [Lainey Gossip]
Morgan Freeman Covers "One Week" [College Humor]