Here's the insanely hot Miranda Kerr and her kid at LAX yesterday, and I was fully prepared to manifest my bitter jealously into a petty post making fun of this kid, but then I realized only one of has had Miranda Kerr's tits in their mouths. You may have won the battle this time, Flynn, but we will see each other again. Oh yes, this is far from over you adorable motherfucker. You hear me, Flynn?! FAR FROM OVER!

Proving a woman can do anything she sets her mind to if she marries rich and has a good plastic surgeon, here's The Real Housewives of New York City "star" Bethenny Frankel in a bikini in Miami. So do me a favor and click through these then get on with your life. Thanks.

Here's one last Oscar thing that I meant to post yesterday but I got distracted while editing these pics because OH DAMN TITTY FUCK PLEASE. Then I made myself a sandwich. Then I took a nap. To be honest, the whole ordeal is was pretty exhausting. My recovery time isn't the best. I do enjoy cuddling and baking though ladies if you're still interested.

Real Life Navy SEALS > Tyler Perry > The Rock riding a bee > a Nicolas Cage movie where he has a flaming skull head > a Jennifer Aniston movie where she's naked. Us Magazine reports:

The actress' new movie Wanderlust tanked in its opening weekend, debuting at No. 8 with $6.6 million. The film, which also stars her real-life love Justin Theroux, reunited Aniston, 43, with her longtime pal Paul Rudd, 42, her costar in 1998's The Object of My Affection. Aniston hasn't had a No. 1 box office debut since her appearance in the 2009 ensemble rom-com He's Just Not That Into You. Box office revenue was up more than 25 perfect from the previous year, with Act of Valor -- featuring real-life Navy SEALS -- taking the top spot with a $24.7 million opening. Tyler Perry's Good Deeds, costarring Gabrielle Union and Thandie Newton, debuted in No. 2 with $16 million. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island came in third with $13.5 million, Safe House finished in fourth with $11.4 million and The Vow rounded out the top five with $10 million. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance earned $8.8 million for a sixth place finish, while Reese Witherspoon's This Means War (No. 7) earned $8.5 million in its second weekend.

It's no secret in Hollywood that if you want to make a movie that nobody will ever pay to see, you cast Jennifer Aniston. Brad Pitt stuck his A-list dick in her for a few years and apparently that means she's A-list too. She's not. Michael Bay could leave a camera on in his backseat for two hours and the footage would make more than $6 million.

Because every guy wants to fuck a chick after she just broke out in a sweat after eating a charbroiled beef patty, with jalapeños, pepper-Jack cheese, grilled onions and Santa Fe sauce on sourdough bread, here's Kate Upton in a commercial for Carl's Jr. proving that she will agree to anything that includes "show your boobs' in the contract Which is perfectly fine because what are you gay?

btw, I called this six months ago. nom nom nom nom nom

It's still unclear why Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz were invited to an event to celebrate achievement in motion pictures, but in case you missed it, they presented an award and their asses in some kind of ass-off. Why Cameron Diaz thought this was a good idea I guess we'll never know, because Jennifer Lopez has built a career by sticking her enormous ass in the air to make people forget she's a talentless cunt with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Maybe next Diaz can challenge the Hulk to a cage fight or whatever means that she's stupid with no understanding of her limitations.

It's a shame the Oscars weren't held live in something called Kodiak Theatre. Because Melissa McCarthy would have made a really good mascot.

Brad Pitt didn't win Best Actor for Moneyball, but I actually feel for bad for the other guys nominated in this category who didn't win. Mostly because they didn't get head from Angelina Jolie on the way home.