Here's Coco shopping in Miami while filming scenes for Ice Loves Coco where she seems pretty happy to have found something on sale. That or she just found a portal to the previously undiscovered dimension, Black Man Island.

Coco was in Miami Beach this weekend, and of course, this is the only way this photoshoot could have went. Although I didn't know the Discovery Channel did such provocative promos like this for Shark Week. I guess they want us to believe that the mudshark is more of a sexy predator and not prone to violent attacks.

I have a feeling that Coco just pulls shit out of her closet for Halloween, but can someone tell me what Ice-T is supposed to be? A felon? I thought that's been established already.

Probably the only person in the world who would call Glamor Shots to see if they did ass pictures, Coco was in Miami yesterday in a bikini. I hope this doesn't sound racist, but she couldn't be more specifically engineered for black men if she came cocoa butter and was licensed to do payday loans. Her application process can be completed online, discreetly and securely, with funds deposited directly into your bank account within the hour! Instant approval! No credit check!

Coco is back on Twitter again, and surprise, she tweeted a picture of her unfortunate ass. This thing looks like an out of control tumor, not something I want to stick my dick in. If I can use a boulder and your thong in a castle siege, your ass might be too big. Just sayin'.

I was gonna post these pictures of Coco in a bikini in Miami yesterday, but the label on my pain meds says they can cause nausea, so I didn't want to take the chance. Especially since I can't eat. But did you know that Boston Market helps you answer the "what's for dinner?" dilemma by offering wholesome, convenient, great-tasting meals you can feel good about eating and serving to your friends and family?! Everything they make is not only delicious, it's good for you too!

Thankfully Twitter was created so people like Coco can achieve their daily attention-whoregasm without having to call the paparazzi.

I've excepted that I'm the "Twitter Pic" and "Thong Thursday" Queen! Whats the world come too!U like? http://plixi.com/p/47978964

Seeing as Halloween is right around the corner and Coco's ass looks like it just set the record for largest pumpkin at the county fair, it's only fitting if someone guts her, carves a toothy grin, and sticks a tea light in her. And this year instead of candy, I'll be buying her a dictionary. "I've excepted"? and "what's this world come too"? Really??

I...I...I....fuck it. Coco says:

Surprise "Thong Thursday" Pic w/my sister @angelbabynaz I'm a bad influence. I'm on left she's on right.

I appreciate the fact that Coco had to point out which enormous ass was hers. Especially since we get daily updates of it at every possible angle. The only way I couldn't recognize it is if I was her colon.

Note: Look at Coco's ass again. What does it look like a head of a penis? That can't be good.