Irina Shayk found out that she got the cover for the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue on Letterman last night, and apparently this is a great honor. I mean, let's not get carried away here. It's not like she made the cover of the 2008 issue of Native American Monthly. My grandma bought ten copies making it the highest selling issue of all time. But if you want to go all crazy over a Russian chick in a bikini, then fine. I said fine! Be that way!

Irina Shayk isn't on here a lot, mostly because she's seemingly normal and kinda boring. But she attended the Kinder Aggugini at Macy's party in NYC last night in these pants. You remember in olden times when a guy on horse saw his first Model T? And he was completely bewildered, excited for the future, yet at the same time nostalgic for the past knowing his life would never be the same? You do? Yeah, now replace the guy on the horse with my penis.

I have no idea who Irina Shayk is, but I'm guessing she's a sexy lingerie model. And if you look at a couple of these pictures really closely, you can kinda see some vulva. I'm talking serious labia definition. Cameltoe. Pastrami curtains. A hot dog bun made of meat. And they will jump out at you. Just let your vision go blurry, like those magic eye pictures. The labia will come flying at your face like a chest burster from Alien. That shit will latch on and never let go.