Amanda Bynes was photographed getting gas yesterday and, I know this may come as shock, but she had on little tiny shorts. Seriously, does this chick even own a pair of pants? I bet if you showed her some she'd be like a caveman if you handed it a laptop. There's a good chance she'd beat them with a stick then climb up a tree and hide.

Amanda Bynes went shopping yesterday and she wore a dress that covered up her whole ass. What is she a nun all of a sudden? Is she a Pilgrim? Jesus, she might as well be wearing chainmail or that cloak Frodo wore.

If I know Amanda Bynes, and I'd like to think I do, I'd say there's a better chance of her wearing chainmail or the skins of young children than anything that would be considered pants.

I should really stop posting about this chick because nobody cares about her but me obviously, but she's been drunk twice this week and throw in those insanely short skirts, and something is going to happen eventually. I'm not sure exactly what, but hopefully if you're in gynecologist school and you need to study for a test, I don't know, maybe come back here and Amanda Bynes can help you out.

Amanda Bynes left a club in LA Saturday night, and based on these pictures, we have a lot in common. We have the same phone and ....uh, well that's about it. But she has kick ass legs. And as it turns out, I like chicks with kick ass legs to wrap them around my neck so I can wear the chick like a bib. Wait, should I put that on my eHarmony profile? I think I should. I need something to make the ladies feel comfortable. Because apparently my job as "Sith apprentice" makes women think I'm too dangerous.

Amanda Bynes was in New York and modeled for the Heart Truth Red Dress Collection on Friday. And by "modeled" I mean she just wore stuff she normally wears. Has anybody ever seen this chick in pants or a dress? Does she even know what those are? They could have asked her backstage to wear a dress that covered up her thighs and there would've been a good chance that she started jumping up and down doing ape sign language before jumping on a tire swing and trying to eat a stapler. All signs point to that not working out.

Bynes and her kick ass legs:

Amanda Bynes must secretly be some kind of mermaid because she's always basically naked from the waist down. Just like I do with my WWII model planes, this chick knows she has a pair of kick ass legs and she takes ever opportunity to show them off. Say what you want about her face, but I don't think you're going to meet a chipmunk with a much more accommodating vagina. Winner? Bynes.

Amanda Bynes thought she'd found an egg man in Doug Reinhardt, but was left all wet when she had to quit being the cat's fuss and gave that Joe the high hat. Since, she's been making tracks around the city of angels, flashing her gams to the snappers.

She don't need to get togged to the bricks to show off them uprights, and I may be a crumb but I'm not talking booshwash when I say I'd blow my wig over pitching woo with that butter and egg fly.