Amanda Bynes must secretly be some kind of mermaid because she's always basically naked from the waist down. Just like I do with my WWII model planes, this chick knows she has a pair of kick ass legs and she takes ever opportunity to show them off. Say what you want about her face, but I don't think you're going to meet a chipmunk with a much more accommodating vagina. Winner? Bynes.

Amanda Bynes thought she'd found an egg man in Doug Reinhardt, but was left all wet when she had to quit being the cat's fuss and gave that Joe the high hat. Since, she's been making tracks around the city of angels, flashing her gams to the snappers.

She don't need to get togged to the bricks to show off them uprights, and I may be a crumb but I'm not talking booshwash when I say I'd blow my wig over pitching woo with that butter and egg fly.

I don't know what it's going to take for Amanda Bynes to stop being such a goody two shoes and get naked, but if somebody could help me out with that I'd appreciate it. I mean, seriously, she used to have a show on a kid's channel. There's no excuse for her not to have a solid gold heroin spoon or a sex tape with a Great Dane by now.

Has Amanda Bynes always looked like this? If so, shouldn't she have a sex tape by now? I mean, she was on Nickelodeon, and we already have this and this, so she needs to ratchet up the slut pretty soon, or she's gonna get passed by. She's 22, so she better hurry up. She won't be this cute and hot for long. She's like puppies in a basket or baby ducks in a bathtub, except with a way more accommodating vagina.

In response to gay-rights activists who plan to boycott the remake of openly gay director John Waters' 1988 cult classic Hairspray because John Travolta is a Scientologist, Travolta claims that there is nothing gay about the movie. Kevin Naff, managing editor of the Washington Blade and leader of the boycott says:

Travolta, a prominent Scientologist, has no business reprising an iconic gay role, given his [religion's] stance on gay issues."

Travolta, whose role in the upcoming film was originally played by drag queen and gay icon, Divine, says:

There is nothing gay in this movie. I'm not playing a gay man...Scientology is not homophobic in any way. In fact it's one of the more tolerant faiths. Anyone's accepted."

Self-serving quotes aside, Scientology hates all gays. All gays except millionaire gays, like John Travolta, who has been barricaded in the closet so long now it's the stuff of Hollywood legend. You could have a son and raise him as a girl on a deserted island and he would still be able to describe a vagina better that John Travolta.

Hairspray stuff:


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Amanda Bynes just celebrated her 21st birthday and by the looks of her awesome party, no one got any sleep that night, baby. They kept it crunked. What with the seven balloons and wood paneling. And the obviously misinterpreted dress code. This party looked hot. Too bad about her cake. I don't know how many stories they dropped it from before they took these pictures, but I could be having seizures and make a better cake than this. All that's missing from this cake is glued on macaroni and some SpongeBob stickers.

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