I know this site is supposed to be about actual celebrities or whatever, but that was before American Idol's Katrina Darrell (aka Bikini Girl) decided to prance around in a bikini. She's not particularly that hot or anything, but she's hot enough I guess. She has a vagina and my penis likes to go in vaginas, so I guess that can be a good starting point.

23-year-old Kris Allen from Conway, Arkansas, became the eighth winner of American Idol last night after beating the heavily favored, (*M)Adam Lambert. The openly gay Lambert and Danny Gokey (placed 3rd) were considered mortal locks to be in the final two, but someone failed to consider the speed in which 13-year old girls dial. Fox News reports:

After the results of the voting on Tuesday’s final performance episode were announced (reportedly, nearly 100 million votes were cast, a show record), Kris was basically speechless. "Are you serious?" he asked host Ryan Seacrest. "Are you friggin’ serious?" Asked how it felt to win, he said, "It feels good, but Adam deserves this."

To be honest, I couldn't give a shit, but I guess this is a singing competition, so I can see how Kris Allen won. If this was a "play dress up and scream incoherently" competition, I would have probably given the trophy to Lambert. But I think we can all agree that the real loser here is Perez Hilton. Or maybe it's his gardener's little boy. I can't shake the feeling that Perez put on a dress and an executioner's mask and choked him out after the results were announced.

(*M) Thanks, Jenny! :)

Here's the hot piece of ass Carrie Underwood at the finale last night to ungay this post up:

During this year's Idol auditions, a chick simply named Bikini Girl sang Mariah Carey and as soon as she walked in the room, judge Kara DioGuardi unleashed her claws and told her she sucked and tried to sing her over her. Bikini Girl in turn told Kara she couldn't sing, and despite bitching from Kara and Paula, Simon put Bikini Girl through to the next round anyway. During the finale last night, it was apparent that DioGuargi was staying up nights plotting her revenge, because while Bikini Girl was on stage, DioGuardi sang over her again then stripped out of her dress to show off her bikini. I have no idea why she would ask her to sing on national television just to embarrass her, but I think it has something to do with being a bitch.

There's been a lot of rumors lately that American Idol finalist and presumed favorite, Adam Lambert, might be gay. I don't know, man. I just don't see it.



PHOTO CREDIT: SPLASH

On Tuesday, the New York Daily News ran a story that said, according to a source inside the show, the producers of American Idol had already decided the top 4: Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert, Lil Rounds, and Alexis Grace. Uh, not so much. Reuters reports:

Fans of "American Idol" eliminated Alexis Grace from the show's eighth season on Wednesday when they cast the fewest votes for the Memphis singer's rendition of Dolly Parton's "Jolene" during the show's country music-themed week. Grace, 21, was sent packing after the show's four judges declined to use their onetime per season vetos to save her from elimination at the end of the Grand Ole Opry week. "It was good," said judge Simon Cowell after Grace reprised the song that got her the fewest fan votes among more than 31 million cast this week. "But it wasn't good enough." On Tuesday, the judges took issue with Grace's choice of song, with the show's newest judge, Kara DioGuardi, saying the singer had lost some of her "edge."

This comes as a mild shock I guess because Alexis Grace was reportedly one of the judge's favorites and seemed to have a lot of public support. However, Megan Joy (pictures below), a Top 10 finalist, is possibly the worst singer in American Idol history to make it this far. But she wasn't even in the bottom two last night. How could this be? Well, I had my crack investigative team look into this and they discovered that Megan Joy is really, really pretty and has ridiculously big boobs. Alexis Grace does not. I don't know if this is the exact reason Alexis Grace was voted off, but I'm not going to lie, my crack investigative team is really just my penis.

Although American Idol prides itself being able to pluck a singer out of obscurity and make them a star through weekly competition, it turns out this year's winners may have already been secretly chosen by the show's producers. Oh, my! How scandalous! New York Daily News reports:

The female "AI" worker told a “group of people that the last four are going to be Danny Gokey, Lil Rounds, Adam Lambert and Alexis Grace," said our insider. Asked if this was opinion or actual fact, the staffer vehemently retorted, "Those ARE the people," saying it wasn’t mere speculation. If it was just her prediction, she’d be spot-on with this week’s TV Guide, which also chose those exact four wanna-be crooners as its picks for stardom. But the lass took it a step further, claiming that higher-ups at the hit Fox show were taking an issue with two of the top contenders. “Adam Lambert and Lil Rounds are better singers and musicians than Gokey and Grace, but they’re too much like past winners and 'A' successes," the woman said. "Adam’s too close in style and sound to Chris Daughtry, while Lil Rounds is a dead ringer for Fantasia. Even their background stories are similar! "The producers really want it to be Danny or Alexis. They think they’re very commercially viable, have a good image and a great story."

I don't know, I'm kinda not buying this. If they're so worried about image, why did Kelly Clarkson win? Her image should be on breakfast sausages not album covers.

Note: The banner video is emo queer Adam Lambert's complete butchering of the Johnny Cash classic, Ring of Fire last night. Instead of doing this, Lambert should have dug up Johnny Cash, propped him up on stage and shot him with paintballs. It would have basically been the same thing.

Carrie Underwood and her hot ass at Disney World:


Photo credit: Splash

Thanks to the awesome Vote For The Worst, everybody has been saying that American Idol finalist, Adam Lambert, is gay. I don't see why, because when he came on stage on with eyeliner and daddy didn't hug me hair and sang Broadway tunes, I was under the impression he was a UFC fighter or a Navy Seal, but gay? No way, man. No way. I'm just not buying it.

Joanna Pacitti, the professional amateur singer who was part of not one, but TWO reality TV shows about singing (First Year on MTV and American Idol, currently broadcast directly into the brains of humanity, it seems). She got kicked off the 8th season uncermoniously and like every smart an empowered woman, immediately cashed in on the one quality more superficial than her ability to sing pitch-corrected pop songs: her smoking body.

Here she is, probably selling something else, but really selling off her shame. Shame is cheap, but oh so rewarding when paired with a bikini. Like selling dildos with a webcam (patent pending).