It was reported that Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital for a cold the other day, but dear Christ that's not what happened. 3am reports:

Mitch Winehouse has rubbished claims that his daughter Amy went to hospital the other day for a cold - revealing it was due to her new boobs going pop. Telegraphing the news on his Living TV show, Mitch said: "It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little (pointing to his chest) leaky something or other." A friend of Amy's adds: "She saw something oozing out on to her top. She was worried as they looked wonky and to see stuff seeping out was horrible."

This would normally be the part where I make fun of Amy Winehouse, but she'll be dead soon, so considering the comments in the Chastity Bono post, there's something I want to get off my chest. This is going to be hard, but so be it. I have to be honest with myself. As a child, I always played with Thundercats. My friends in school played with Thundercats, I related to Thundercats. I had a Thundercats lunchbox and a Lion-O claw. If a game broke out [with] Transformers against the Thundercats, I was always with the Thundercats. Being a feline superhero from another galaxy isn't between your legs, but between your ears. I feel like I have lied to myself for far too long. It's just a long process of being comfortable enough to do something about it. I realize people may not accept me as a Thundercat and I am fully prepared to deal with people's ignorance and hate. But I will not let it stop me from being my true self. I have my family and the Sword of Omens. It gives me sight beyond sight!!

If you stacked all the drugs Amy Winehouse has done in the last twenty-six years, Jack wouldn't have needed the beanstalk to find that chicken who laid the golden egg, but instead of intense rehab and therapy, Amy Winehouse has hired a faith healer, Peter Hippolyte, to cure her addiction to drugs and alcohol. Of course it's gonna work. Isn't that right, Peter? Tell us, tell us what the chicken bones and crystal ball have FORETOLD! Daily Mail reports:

'I have healing hands and I talk to her and explain things to her,' he told Heat magazine. 'She's a wonderful girl and she believes in me. I am coming back to England to help her.' Peter talked about his therapy sessions with the star, who became addicted to drink and drugs when with estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil. He said: 'We hug each other, we kiss each other and I put my hands on her shoulder. 'I tell her not to worry and we sing to each other. When I come to the UK, I will use my hands to help heal her and use my psychological healing to organise her mind.'We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants.' However, despite Amy trying to turn her life around it seems it will be a long time before she manages to shrug off her tarnished image.

Whatever. This bitch snorts so much powder she could have cleaned up behind Hitler. Next.

Crack Den Barbie:

After two years of marriage, Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are now officially divorced. People reports:

Neither she nor Fielder-Civil were at Court Three of the High Court Family Division in London's Holborn area to hear District Judge Michael Segal grant the "quickie" divorce. In a question-and-answer format, the court papers show that it was Fielder-Civil who filed for the split. Asked if he finds it "intolerable" to live with Winehouse, he replies, "Yes." And when asked to "state briefly your reasons for saying that the respondent has committed the adultery alleged," he answers, "The Respondent confessed the adultery to me in April 2008." The papers show they have not lived in the same household since that date. In her response, Winehouse is asked if she admitted "the adultery alleged in the petition." She answers a simple "yes." She adds that she is not intending to defend the case.

I'm an idiot who reads things and instantly makes up scenarios in my head that aren't true, but I could have never predicted two co-dependent junkies wouldn't make it. They were like that couple in The Notebook. This has really shaken my belief in true love, my friends.

What you're seeing above is Amy Winehouse's band helping her up off the stage after she fell off her big white high-heels. Depending on who you are asking, Amy Winehouse's first concert of the year at St Lucia's Jazz Festival was either rained out or she was boo'd off stage.

The "official" story is this:

British jazz soul diva Amy Winehouse had to abandon her first performance of the year because of heavy rain.

She was halfway through a set at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival on Friday when a torrential downpour hit the Caribbean island. She tried to soldier on, but the show was called off when the rain started to flood the stage wings, and sound equipment and lighting began to fail.

Winehouse was disappointed because she had hoped to repay the residents of St. Lucia, where she is now living, for their hospitality, her spokesman Chris Goodman said in a news release Saturday.

But, we all know poor Wino too well to know that the rain was the real reason, reports The Daily Mail:

Amy Winehouse may wish to return to the stage, but it seems the world isn't quite ready for her yet.

The troubled singer was apparently forced to abandon a comeback gig in St Lucia after torrential rain hit the island last night.

However onlookers claim the real reason Amy left the stage was because the audience booed her shambolic performance.

After taking to stage at the St Lucia Jazz Festival in a tight-fitting blue dress and white high heels, it was reported that Amy, 25, appeared to struggle with her balance and stumbled through the lyrics of her songs.

When the crowd began to jeer, the Back to Black star is alleged to have shouted '**** you' back to the audience at least twice before leaving the stage.

MailOnline reader Victor Phillips wrote: 'I was there. She was booed off the stage.

'If it was the rain why did the act after her perform?'

And Tracey, also writing from St Lucia, said: 'Weather aside, it was not raining when Amy came on stage, it did rain heavily later in her set but that has not stopped previous performers here!'

I'm more inclined to believe that she told the audience to F88k themselves. That sounds like the Amy I know.

I know nothing can prepare you for this unadulterated hell, so I'm just gonna rip off the bandaid - here's some Amy Winehouse upskirt pictures. Dear God, this chick is disgusting. If I saw her walking down the street I wouldn't know whether to shoot her in the brain or scare her with fire. I'm not even joking when I say I'd rather stick my head in a lion's mouth than in between this hag's legs.

IDLYITW is on Twitter, where we update you faster and randomly let you know when we're eating sandwiches, what kind of sandwich it is and when we plan to finish it. Follow us. [Twitter]

I'm all for Amy Winehouse news but when she has her period is a bit much. Especially when the tampon itself informs us. [EbaumNation]

Christina Ricci is part hot, part alien and all about dating guys much taller than she is. [FatBackMedia]

Anne Hathaway is back in the public eye at some fashion show, meaning you once again should suffer through my unhealthy obsession. [LaineyGossip]

If I had a dime for every Kate Moss nip slip, I would now have several more dimes. I'd also wonder who was paying me those dimes, because it would be a bad investment. Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

The Rolling Stone shoot with the Gossip Girl cast is just starting to leak and features some lesbian-tastic snaps. [ICYDK]

One dancing homeless man with a Santa-beard has found a way to get good publicity: hang out behind Megan Fox. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Jennifer Aniston needs to get knocked up THEN leave a guy because he doesn't want kids. At least that way she'd get that kid she always wanted. [ImNotObsessed]

And speaking of Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie is still in NY filming Salty, but now in a sexy black, I'm-getting-arrested way. [BadandUgly]

Amy Winehouse is still taking daily trips to the beach in St. Lucia, and she's still bathing topless, looking utterly confused by the concept of the beach.

I'm trying to think how much someone would have to pay me to touch one of Amy Winehouse's nipples. I'm thinking, like, $40. Eight dollars for a box of rubber gloves, $6.50 for some hand sanitizer, $20 for a little bit of nerve-calming herbage and then $5.50 for the replacement fast food meal after I lost my breakfast all over the beach.

Click the pic above or here for the NSFW gallery from today, or you can click over here to view her previous topless romp, you masochist, you.

This week saw quite a few bikini pictures of celebrities who chose to escape the cold weather that comes naturally to the northern hemisphere.

Meanwhile, if I want to fly to visit my family in another state, I have to pay money to put my baggage under the plane. Then, as soon as I board, the stewardess tells us to hold on to our coats so we can conserve space in the over-head compartment. And, of course, I put my coat right in the overhead compartment, because I paid money to check my baggage and I assume that they have also allotted space for a carry-on to be associated with my seat. That space should logically be used for my coat, I mistakenly think, leading to an argument with the flight attendant, which leads to her waking me up every time she passes my seat, asking if I want more water (needlessly passive aggressive).

So if you are a drug addict like Amy Winehouse, you get to fly down to some beach and run around topless, but if you’re just some dude going home for the holidays, you’re charged money to bring your clothes with you, and told to stow your coat on your lap.

The world is so fair.



This week in winter bikinis:
Solange Knowles



Lisa Rinna



Katy Perry