After she left the pub of course. Daily Mail reports:

The sordid details of Amy Winehouse's final hours emerged today, with claims that she bought a cocktail of narcotics including cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine. Although the exact cause of death has not yet been released by police, it is claimed she was seen buying drugs from a dealer in Camden just after 10:30pm on Friday...A source told The People that she was seen buying substances, believed to be cocaine, heroin, ecstasy and ketamine leading up to the hours before her death. She is also thought to have been drinking heavily, which may have been the trigger of a lethal concoction of drugs and alcohol. The source told the newspaper: 'Amy seemed determined to have a big one on Friday night. 'She was out in Camden on Friday evening, but seemed determined to carry on the party back at her flat. 'None of us know who was with her into the early hours of Saturday. But getting out of it was clearly her main priority of the night.' Another source from one Camden pub told the tabloid that they had also seen Amy buying.

I know some of you wish she was still alive so she could make another album because she was a genius whose life was snuffed out too soon because of a senseless "tragedy", but please keep in mind that if you reanimated her right now and put her in the studio, you'd come back from the bathroom to see her sliding down a mountain of coke into a pile of needles she just bought.

It takes six hours for her security team and handlers to flush drugs down the toilet and spray Febreze? Interesting. Sun reports:

TRAGIC Amy Winehouse may have been dead for up to six hours before her body was discovered lying in bed, cops fear. The star, 27, last spoke to her security team at 10am on Saturday. She was found at home in Camden, North London, at 4pm. Medics said she'd been dead several hours. Police sources reported no sign of drugs at the house. Amy had seen her doctor on Friday night. Amy's doctor examined her the evening before her death - and gave her the all clear. The singer was having regular check-ups because her drink and drug battles had left her so frail. A source said: "The doctor was happy with her condition. When he left on Friday night he had no concerns. Less than 24 hours later she was found dead. "Amy's health has been very fragile and she has been having a series of check-ups."

Police have no leads and her autopsy is currently underway, but we really don't need to know what happened. Because 27-year old's take naps at 10am then die peacefully in their sleep all the time. There's nothing to see here.

I guess that's better than a ditch where most people expected. TMZ reports:

Amy Winehouse was found dead in her bed by a security guard who had been appointed to look after ... this according a rep for Winehouse. Chris Goodman, a friend and rep for Winehouse, explained, "She was in her bedroom after saying she wanted to sleep and when he went to wake her he found she wasn't breathing." Goodman continued, "He called the emergency services straight away. He was very shocked. At this stage no one knows how she died. She died alone in bed.

Totally. I bet he was completely shocked. Because how could an unrepentant drug addict who coughs up blood and does horse tranquilizers be taken from us so quickly? Life just doesn't seem fair sometimes.

On the bright side, everyone pretending this is tragic can now toss her into the 27 Club so her music can be remembered as much better than it actually was.The Daily Mail reports:

Amy Winehouse has been found dead at her home in London, it has been reported. The Back To Black singer was apparently found at 4pm and her death is believed to be unexplained.

Maybe it's the CSI effect again, but the death of a well-documented alcoholic, heroin-addled crackwhore is usually pretty easy to explain. Police suspect she either got mauled by a bear or got caught in Libyan crossfire. Or she might have OD'ed. We may need Dr. Watson for this one.

Instead of camping outside a Golden Corral on Endless Babyback Ribs Night then running to get a table by the soft serve ice cream machine like Adele, Amy Winehouse handles a vicious breakup and daddy issues the old fashioned way. By threatening to die of alcohol poisoning at any given moment. Radar Online reports:

Amy Winehouse checked into rehab this week at the urging of her father, but on the way to the clinic, she was seen drinking vodka. A rep for the troubled singer confirmed that Winehouse entered The Priory Clinic in London on Wednesday for treatment. The rep said in a statement: Winehouse "has embarked on a treatment program at the Priory Clinic. She wants to be ready for performances in Europe this summer and decided to seek an assessment. She will remain at the Priory on doctors' advice." But before checking-in, the Rehab singer, 27, reportedly drank a miniature bottle of Smirnoff vodka which she purchased at local store. A customer at The Meadway Food and Wine Store in Southgate, North London, told The Sun Newspaper: “She seemed out of it. She was stumbling about, slurring her words. “I was shocked to see her buy vodka so early in the day and even more shocked to see her knock it straight back.”

I mean, does she really need rehab at this point? Can we really call her an alcoholic? Because there's not really a fine line between struggling with alcohol and your frozen, chopped up body being a backup plan when the margarita mix runs out.

It was reported that Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital for a cold the other day, but dear Christ that's not what happened. 3am reports:

Mitch Winehouse has rubbished claims that his daughter Amy went to hospital the other day for a cold - revealing it was due to her new boobs going pop. Telegraphing the news on his Living TV show, Mitch said: "It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little (pointing to his chest) leaky something or other." A friend of Amy's adds: "She saw something oozing out on to her top. She was worried as they looked wonky and to see stuff seeping out was horrible."

This would normally be the part where I make fun of Amy Winehouse, but she'll be dead soon, so considering the comments in the Chastity Bono post, there's something I want to get off my chest. This is going to be hard, but so be it. I have to be honest with myself. As a child, I always played with Thundercats. My friends in school played with Thundercats, I related to Thundercats. I had a Thundercats lunchbox and a Lion-O claw. If a game broke out [with] Transformers against the Thundercats, I was always with the Thundercats. Being a feline superhero from another galaxy isn't between your legs, but between your ears. I feel like I have lied to myself for far too long. It's just a long process of being comfortable enough to do something about it. I realize people may not accept me as a Thundercat and I am fully prepared to deal with people's ignorance and hate. But I will not let it stop me from being my true self. I have my family and the Sword of Omens. It gives me sight beyond sight!!

If you stacked all the drugs Amy Winehouse has done in the last twenty-six years, Jack wouldn't have needed the beanstalk to find that chicken who laid the golden egg, but instead of intense rehab and therapy, Amy Winehouse has hired a faith healer, Peter Hippolyte, to cure her addiction to drugs and alcohol. Of course it's gonna work. Isn't that right, Peter? Tell us, tell us what the chicken bones and crystal ball have FORETOLD! Daily Mail reports:

'I have healing hands and I talk to her and explain things to her,' he told Heat magazine. 'She's a wonderful girl and she believes in me. I am coming back to England to help her.' Peter talked about his therapy sessions with the star, who became addicted to drink and drugs when with estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil. He said: 'We hug each other, we kiss each other and I put my hands on her shoulder. 'I tell her not to worry and we sing to each other. When I come to the UK, I will use my hands to help heal her and use my psychological healing to organise her mind.'We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants.' However, despite Amy trying to turn her life around it seems it will be a long time before she manages to shrug off her tarnished image.

Whatever. This bitch snorts so much powder she could have cleaned up behind Hitler. Next.

Crack Den Barbie:

After two years of marriage, Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are now officially divorced. People reports:

Neither she nor Fielder-Civil were at Court Three of the High Court Family Division in London's Holborn area to hear District Judge Michael Segal grant the "quickie" divorce. In a question-and-answer format, the court papers show that it was Fielder-Civil who filed for the split. Asked if he finds it "intolerable" to live with Winehouse, he replies, "Yes." And when asked to "state briefly your reasons for saying that the respondent has committed the adultery alleged," he answers, "The Respondent confessed the adultery to me in April 2008." The papers show they have not lived in the same household since that date. In her response, Winehouse is asked if she admitted "the adultery alleged in the petition." She answers a simple "yes." She adds that she is not intending to defend the case.

I'm an idiot who reads things and instantly makes up scenarios in my head that aren't true, but I could have never predicted two co-dependent junkies wouldn't make it. They were like that couple in The Notebook. This has really shaken my belief in true love, my friends.