Annalynne McCord's been trying to make her sisters happen for a while. Angel McCord got her own piece in Page Six today. From The New York Post:

Annalynne McCord's equally attractive sister, Angel, upstaged Britney Spears the other night by jumping into a pool in her underwear in front of 170 guests at a Britney-hosted LA dinner for the St. Bernard Project, which helps those still homeless after Hurricane Katrina. Angel offered, "My sister and I grew up in a trailer park -- it is important we raise money. And if we get over $15,000, I'll take off my dress and jump in the pool." A spy reports, "A guy stood up and said, 'Done!' She took off her jewelry, called her friend over to unzip her dress and jumped in" -- drawing cheers from Selena Gomez, Hilary Duff and Reggie Bush.

I think Angel McCord mixed up "trailer park" with "kennel club," but whatever. It's for a good cause. But if this wasn't a pool of nuclear waste, that guy's going to want a refund. And based on the opening line of this article describing Angel as "equally atrractive," Annalynne McCord deserves a refund too, but from her plastic surgeon.



All images via WENN.

Annalynne McCord was photographed on the 90210 set allegedly dressed as one of those blue injuns from that Pocahontas-in-space movie. In reality, Annalynne McCord was just photographed without makeup and duct tape.

The actual heroes CNN saluted were all pretty unattractive, but the guests were decent.

In Jessica Alba's case, extremely bangin'. I hear she's a hero to screenwriters everywhere.



Annalynne McCord looks like the Crypt Keeper, but she's a PR hero for convincing the brass on 90210 that she's the hot breakout star.



Demi Moore is a hero for cougars and plastic surgeons:



Emmy Rossum is a hero for girls who want to stay relevant by dating and dumping trolls.



John Legend and his lady, Christy Teigen, are heroes because she tweets us and he reads us.



I don't know who Shay Mitchell is, so I'll say she's a hero because she's Mulan:



And as for the banner picture, Gerard Butler is a hero for Sparta. And for my vagina.

When your name sounds like "anal" and you dress like an escort and your eyes look like their favorite pastime is to be filled with semen, it's only a matter of time before our hearts collide. But in this tale of lust and desire, will true love be found?! Will her vagina require reconstructive surgery?! Or will it lead to greed, revenge, and the ultimate betrayal?! Stay tuned for the answers to all these questions and more!

AnnaLynne McCord and her equally unattractive sister went to some beach this weekend, and Angel's nipple must be like Stephen Hawkins' legs, because she spent about twenty minutes trying to adjust her top with her tit hanging out. I realize this is supposed to be sexy, but my penis thinks they look like they're both competing in the swimming portion of a death camp's triathlon.

AnnaLynne McCord and her sister, Somethingelsethatstartswithana McCord, pretended to make out while playing volleyball yesterday, because let's be honest, that's what attention whores do. But they didn't take into account that they could both use a hot oil treatment and that Ferdinand Magellan would have bad news to report after he tried to sail around their asses. If any dude finds these two chicks hot, you might want to try tapping your foot in a airport bathroom, because it's pretty obvious at this point that vagina probably isn't your thing.

You know I'm desperate when I'm posting pictures of AnnaLynne McCord at the 2010 DIRECTV Celebrity Beach Bowl this weekend to mitigate some of the fug I've exposed you to today, so forgive me. It's a skinny white girl in a bikini, so I guess that's something. I mean, why do you have to be such a little bitch? All you do is complain! Oh, when will I ever be good enough for you??!! Fine, be that way! See if I care!

I could smoke a barrel full of weed and I would still never be able to understand how a piece of ass like Jessica Lowndes is on 90210 yet AnnaLynne McCord's fug ass is the breakout star. She couldn't even place in a transvestite AnnaLynne McCord look-a-like contest, but she's on the cover of magazines. I wish somebody would explain this to me. She could have Christmas lights around her vagina and hand me a gift card for unlimited anal and I'd still need to hire my penis a motivational speaker.

AnnaLynne's flat chest and nipples: