Let's be clear here, High School Musical star, Ashley Tisdale is really freakin ugly, so try to contain yourself when you look at these pictures of her in Hawaii. Anybody looks good in a bikini with their ass in the air. Not to brag, but how do you think I put myself through college?

Ashley Tisdale and her dark hair are running, running, running away from the blonde Disney pop-star cookie-cutter as fast and quietly as possible before the giant black hole of Disney and Mickey Mouse's slave-driving hand crashes down on top of her career like that giant wave on George Clooney in The Perfect Storm.

Tisdale is filming a video for her new single "It's Alright, It's Okay" off her album Guilty Pleasure.

No one really knows who that dude is, or at least they are ready to refer to him as the "mystery man," though maybe he's just one of those guys who pretends to play music insturments for music videos. I used to be one of those guys. I was an auxiliary percussionist and my job mostly consisted of getting REALLY into playing an egg-shaker.

Yeah. Those were the days of drug, sex and egg-shaking. Now the closest I am to shaking eggs are pushing premature labors from maternity to the ER.

(You know, when I volunteer at the ER. You thought I was stealing babies didn't you?)

High School Musical star, Zac Efron was assaulted by a middle-aged man as he left the Apollo in London's West End last night. It didn't end in a dance off as many witnesses expected. The Daily Mail says:

"The bespectacled attacker, who was carrying a laptop computer under one arm, was then said to have lunged forward and tried to grab his hair. The startled 20-year-old, who plays Troy in the hugely successful Disney film franchise, is usually followed by crowds of swooning teenage girls. So being attacked by a middle-aged man must have given him a taste of the darker side of fame. An onlooker said: 'Some guy was just stood near the door where Zac and Vanessa emerged. He just reached over and grabbed the side of Zac's head. There was no provocation. It all turned into a bit of a mess. 'He was shouting all kinds of things at Zac. Their security team eventually dealt with it. They had to bundle Zac into a car, but at one point it looked as though the man was going to be pushed into it with him.'"

Some people might think it's weird that this dude was carrying a laptop, but in his defense, it's gets pretty boring waiting all that time in a van. I mean, once you've looked through a pair of binoculars once, you've pretty much looked through them all.

Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Corbin Bleu, and ohmygodiknow their names at the UK premiere of High School Musical 3:


Photos: Splash, Daily Mail

On June 5th, online reports were everywhere that High School Musical star and Disneybot, Ashley Tisdale, was dying from AIDS after she caught the disease from contaminated equipment used during her much publicized nose job. Her parents now say it was all a vicious lie. Star Magazine reports:

My daughter is healthy and just fine - but my husband and I just don't know why anyone would spread such a rumor," Ashley's mom, Lisa Tisdale, 52, told Star at the family home in Toluca Lake, Calif. "And what really upsets me is that anyone can write anything, and it ends up on the Internet. It's so irresponsible; so many people will just assume it's a fact."

It's true, people will assume anything is true if it's on the Internet. Like that story that said I wear Smurf footie pajamas to bed. Oh, please. Since when do the Shirt Tales look like Smurfs?

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I have no idea who the Disney-created Jonas Brother are, but they had a big performance on the AMAs last night. Apparently their talents include 12 year old girls and falling down.

More Disney whores...

Vanessa Hudgens:


Miley Cyrus:


Ashley Tisdale: