Katy Perry in a rubber bikini [The Superficial]
Hilary Duff's boobs love Texas [Popoholic]
Julianne Moore cameltoe [TaxiDriver Movie]
Audrina Patridge's surgeon has lobster claws for hands [Celebslam]
Greek girl gone wild [COED Magazine]
Tom Hardy's pubes. This one's for Jessica [Dlisted]
Surprise! Brittany Murphy's husband spent all her money [Popeater]
I need to get Zoe Saldana pregnant [Just Jared]
I need to get Victoria Justice pregnant. In six months. [Egotastic]
Nicole Kidman nude [Cityrag]
John Hamm doesn't have the "marriage chip" [Cele|bitchy]
Ladies, take these pictures to your surgeon. Thank you. [The Chive]
Amanda Mrowiec. I really need to get her pregnant. Now. [Heyman Hustle]

I have no idea how many people at Bongo went to actual marketing school, but they have decided to make Audrina Patridge their face. Audrina Patridge. Was a jack-o-lantern not available? Because I wouldn't make this chick the face of a pirate ship. Don't get me wrong, the body is sick, but the face looks like a backup singer for the band booked to play the Hogwarts commencement.

A 25-year old man, Zachary Loring, pleaded no contest yesterday to stalking unclear as to why piece of ass, Audrina Patridge. Loring repeatedly went to Patridge's house and once left her a package of letters which included a picture of a woman being strangled. How romantic!

A man arrested outside Audrina Patridge's home has pleaded no contest to stalking "The Hills" star and will undergo psychiatric evaluation. Deputy District Attorney Wendy Segall says Zachary Loring entered the plea Monday in Los Angeles and will undergo a 90-day diagnostic evaluation before being sentenced. If found competent, he could be sentenced to up to two years in state prison.

Man, what's up with this dude? Can't he find anybody smarter to stalk? Sophie Turner has a law degree and when I'm digging through her trash when I think she's asleep, sometimes she comes out and we talk about music and the arts. Or, you know, just how she's doing. The police car window is pretty thick, but I think her heart understands what I'm saying.

Despite all visual evidence to the contrary, I'd still fuck Audrina Patridge. Yes, I realize her face looks like it was created in lab with animal and human DNA. Yes, I realize the space between her tits could be used as a mass grave in Darfur, but damn. Don't judge me. I just want to cum on her stomach, not hear her thoughts on the Axiomatic system.

Audrina Patridge hosted a party at Wet Republic in Las Vegas this weekend, and I don't know what that means, but it apparently has something to do with stuffing her huge tits in a bikini and smiling. It's almost like the time your wife let me cum on her tits. You might want to check that out dude.

Audrina Patridge went to the Nail Garden on Ventura Boulevard yesterday and hopefully she wasn't looking for a dress that fit, because if her huge rack could permanently hang out that would be great. I realize she's a vapid whore with comically high sense of self-worth, but I'm just trying to titty fuck her, not discuss Pollock's springs period.

Even though her head looks like something Jason and the Argonauts have to cut off to find the Golden Fleece, Audrina Patridge knows that she should always stick her insane body in a bikini and just stand there. I'm not really sure what else she should do. She could invent a time machine or develop a mutant power and "that chick with the big tits on that one show" would still be in her obituary.

Audrina Patridge posted outtakes of her FHM shoot on her official site today. In related news, while I'm masturbating Roller Girl finally has someone to play with.

You can see more of Audrina Patridge and other covergirls at FHM.com.