Avril Lavigne is known as a courteous, intelligent, kindhearted person, so when she got into a fight with a stranger, it came as a shock to everyone. Except now. TMZ reports:

Brody Jenner was cracked in the head with a bottle trying to break up a fight in Hollywood early this morning -- and law enforcement tells TMZ ... the fight was between an unknown girl and Brody's GF, Avril Lavigne. According to our sources, Avril got into a dust-up shortly before 1:00 AM at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. We're told when Brody tried to intervene ... he took a bottle to the head from someone for his troubles. Law enforcement sources tell us hotel security broke up the fight and detained Brody and others involved. Police were called to the hotel and when all was said and done ... we're told the police report listed Brody as the victim of an assault with a deadly weapon. Our sources say Brody was the only one involved who spoke to police -- the other combatants (including Avril) had split by the time they arrived. We're told Brody refused medical attention and went to the hospital on his own.

This story confirms what you already think of Avril Lavigne. Avril Lavigne almost got her teeth knocked straight by a stranger because she's a bratty, entitled, instigating little shit. Brody helped her out, so she left him bleeding to deal with cops alone. The only way she could be a better girlfriend would be to kick him in the nuts when he comes home to find her fucking his best friend.

Like The Clash, Black Flag, and many great punk bands before her, Avril Lavigne covered a Coldplay song in Brazil last night, but not before a dude ran on stage and tried to tackle her. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but make sure you watch her reaction. I assume it's the same as when a little girl sees a bee.

Those teeth should be on Shark Week:

Studies have shown that there is nothing more annoying than Avril Lavigne, but when she's St. Tropez on a yacht with her ass in the air and you don't have to hear her talk or see her jagged teeth, other studies show that she becomes considerably less annoying. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would have sex with her. I hope that was clear.

Since she's an international superstar lauded by critics and her millions of adoring fans alike for her cutting edge and not manufactured image at all, Avril Lavigne performed at the Tampa Bay Rays game on Saturday. She sucked. People booed. She got pissed. She forget her mic was turned on. Us Magazine reports:

The 26-year-old singer experienced technical problems during her performance at the game, eliciting boos from the crowd. Lavigne responded to the jeers with an R-rated rant, snapping that sound problems "f**king happen on a baseball field." Later in the evening, Lavigne apologized for her outburst. "We just had so much fun tonight and we want to take the tirade out and say thank you to the Tampa Bay Rays!" she told the crowd. "I'm truly sorry if anyone was offended by my language." On Sunday, the Rays released a statement condemning Lavigne's language: "The Rays demand profanity-free performances from all of our concert performers and we are extremely disappointed by the language used in last night's show."

I don't write about this chick a lot, because really, who fucking cares? It's Avril Lavigne. She's one of the most vile cunts ever to achieve fame and she basically showed yet another reason on Saturday. All you really need to do is read her statements about Hurricane Katrina (here) to realize this pretentious bitch lives in a delusion of fantasy where 4ft. tall Canadian chicks with shark teeth and dumbass songs are John Lennon. Or you can read about the time she spit on people while she was leaving a club. Or why you should be cool and stay in school. I don't know. For the betterment of society, maybe I should grudge rape her. Mostly because banging white girls is my form of reparations. You know, since scalping is illegal. Hahaha, take that white people! The tables have turned!!

Brody Jenner's mom likes Avril Lavigne. Can you tell it's a slow news day? E! Online says:

"They're almost a year together," Jenner's mom Linda Thompson told us last night at the Global Action Forum awards gala in Beverly Hills. "She's an amazing young woman and I feel really fortunate that she's in our lives."

So have the couple started planning a walk down the aisle?

"Not yet," Thompson said. "I mean they're very young. They both have their careers to concentrate on."

But that doesn't mean Brody's mama doesn't think they'll one day tie the knot!

When asked if she thinks they'll be together forever, Thompson gushed, "I actually do yeah."

"You never know what will happen but they are well suited for each other," she said. "She's such a lovely person and surprisingly, she's a real home body. She loves to cook and she's really grounded and very familial. She's into close-knit family time. I really respect her."

Avril Lavigne is a moronic, self-obsessed, drunk divorcee who looks, dresses, and acts like a 14-year-old cutter, but Brody Jenner's mom is stoked to have her. If her hopes for her children are this high, I can only imagine how proud she'd be if she were Montana Fishburne's mom. "I admire her independence. She makes her own money and doesn't rely on her parents, and that takes a lot of strength."

Avril Lavigne is a bony pretentious bitch with shark teeth, but for some reason I'd hit it. Mostly because banging white girls is my form of reparations. You know, since scalping is illegal. Hahaha, take that white people! The tables have turned!

This was a rumor last month, but now I guess it's not. Avril Lavigne and whatshisname are getting divorced. Us Magazine reports:

"She dumped him and told him she was leaving him. She wants to move on," a source tells the new Us Weekly, adding that Lavigne, 25, forced him out of their $9.5 million, 12,00-square-foot estate in L.A.'s Bel Air. "Divorce papers will be filed any day now." Whibley, 29, "is crushed," adds another insider.

Whatever. She's annoying and may or may not be able to build a dam with her teeth and he looks like something that scientists just unthawed. Basically what I'm saying is I'm not really sure why I posted this boring shit.