After four years of dating, Bar Refaeli and Leonardo DiCaprio have split. What a sad day for love. I bet it's particularly tough on DiCaprio. I bet he can't even jerk off in the mouth of the 18-year old South African model that's more than likely on her knees in front of him right now he's so distraught. New York Post reports:

Leonardo DiCaprio and model Bar Refaeli have officially called it quits, Page Six has exclusively learned. The pair broke up late last week after going through a rough patch. "It was amicable, they're still friends and they are still talking," said a source close to the couple. "They just grew apart and went their separate ways," the source said, adding that there was no one else involved in the breakup -- and Refaeli was spotted looking happy and relaxed with her agent in Berlin this week.

Bar Refaeli is 25, so if my math is correct, she has five more years before she suddenly announces her a pregnancy and tells the world that she has fallen in love with the man of her dreams. And that man will be a 73-year old billionaire shipping magnate with no immediate family and a dialysis machine. Isn't love beautiful!

I have no idea what the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala is, but I just checked, and it appears that there hasn't been this much hot ass in one place since Chernobyl.

In a recent interview, Leonardo DiCaprio revealed he was a "slow starter" with women. I really hope he doesn't expect me to feel sorry for him.

"He said: "I've always been a slow starter. My first date was with a girl called Cessi. We had a beautiful relationship over the phone all summer and then when we met I couldn't look her in the eye." The 33-year-old star - who recently revealed he is keen to put his playboy lifestyle behind him and settle down - is notoriously secretive about his private life, but claims he has to be in order to ensure he is believable as an actor."

What a touching story. Poor Leonardo. He had to suffer through that embarrassment just so he could live to get balls deep in Helena Christensen, Gisele Bundchen, and Bar Refaeli. I just don't know how he managed to live like that. My penis heard me reading this and he picked up a megaphone and started passing out flyers in protest.

Bar Refaeli:


Gisele Bundchen:


Helena Christensen (NSFW):