Ted Casablanca has been pulling shit out of a hat for a while now, so instead of being on the brink of divorce, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are expecting a new baby. US Magazine reports:

Garner's former Alias co-star Victor Garber confirms to Usmagazine.com. "Yes, she is," Garber, who currently stars on ABC's Eli Stone, told Us when asked if recent speculation was true that the couple is expecting. (Garber officiated the couple's 2005 wedding.) A source adds, "She is five months pregnant. They are very happy."

Violet Affleck might not have been cute enough to be a Gerber baby, but every time you see her she looks incredibly happy, so say what you want about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, but they seem to be great parents unlike most of the idiots in Hollywood. If Paris Hilton had a baby, in six months I'd fully expect it to be found in a diaper crawling on a suspended beam at a construction site or stuck in a bear trap.

E!'s The Awful Truth is reporting that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner may be on the verge of divorce.

Terribly unfortunate scuttlebutt has come my way. Sources insist to me that Jennifer Garner is considering splitting up from her hubby, Ben Affleck. Say it ain't so, baby-cakes! Nevertheless, waiting on comment now from both parties. Could this be the reason Jen and Ben are always seen cooing over adorable daughter Violet separately, rarely as one happy family unit? Perhaps. And certainly, those who know the former Alias star well insist Ben's mama has never particularly cared for the gal who broke Michael Vartan's heart to hook up with Benny-Boy in the first place. Waiting on official PR responses to that little familial naughty nugget as, well, for what it's worth."

Ted Casablanca is gay, so I don't know if I should believe this. It's a known fact that gays are liars. Why, just today at the pool one told me that my cowboy boots weren't meant to be worn with swimming trunks. Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, buddy.

The happy couple on June 18th:

Rachel Bilson gets banged [Hollywood Tuna]
Paris Hilton and another douchebag join forces [Dlisted]
Heidi Klum comes up roses [Just Jared]
Amy Winehouse will launch her own fashion line [Hollywood Rag]
Madonna goes to jury duty [ASL]
Cher or drag Cher? [City Rag]
Ashlee Simpson pretending to be Britney Spears (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
David Beckham stops to smell the flowers [Popsugar]
Elizabeth Banks is fucking Seth Rogen [Popoholic]
Brooke Hogan's bikini photo-op [Egotastic]
Karolina Kurkova's topless photoshoot (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Guffaw: Nobodies are not "stars" (Webster's Is My Bitch)

Jimmy Kimmel's response to Sarah Silverman fucking Matt Damon:

E! Online is reporting Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had their baby last night whom they named Violet. Which is surprisingly tame compared to other crazy celebrity baby names.

The shade of purple also happens to be the name of the baby girl born to Garner, E! News has learned. The child made her debut at a Los Angeles hospital after labor was induced Wednesday night, Us Weekly reported Thursday. 'Ben was with her the entire time,' a source told the magazine. The child is the first for both. Affleck, 33, and Garner, 34, wed June 29, almost two months after their expectant news was leaked.

Congrats, people. And, Kevin Smith, I know you're out there. Step away from the baby. Don't go casting her in any of your crappy movies and ruining her career before it even starts. To be fair, Clerks was good for about 5 minutes and Good Will Hunting doesn't count. You were only "co-executive producer", so you didn't have enough power to ruin it with your fancy ruining movies powers.