Oh, Brad you sly dog! Having unprotected sex with the woman you've been in a committed relationship with for six years! Hahaha, you're still full of surprises, bro! OK Magazine reports:

Lately, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have dropped some none-too-subtle hints that they'd like to add to their brood of six children. The smart money seemed to be on adoption — though Angelina did say recently, "I could end up pregnant." Turns out she wasn't toying with us: A source close to the Oscar-winner reveals that Angelina is expecting her seventh child and telling friends she can't wait to be a mom again. "She's almost three months along," the source confirms to OK!. "It's not something she wants to officially announce but she's at a point where she is telling a select group of people." Adds an insider: Angelina is really savoring every moment. she's having a tough time with morning sickness but says it's all worth it."

Let me preface this by saying that this is OK! reporting this, so take it however you want. They reported that Jon Benet Ramsey was pregnant with twins and I had a really small penis once, so they have a well documented history of just making shit up. That being said, if it's true, fuck you Brad Pitt.

As Paul Mooney once said, Angelina Jolie could bring a live chicken home and say she adopted it and Brad Pitt would jump up and say, "Come here, chicken! I'm your new daddy!". And this is one of the reasons why. For his 48th birthday, she bought him a waterfall. A WATERFALL.Us Magazine reports:

The In the Land of Blood and Honey director, 36, purchased a waterfall in California for longtime love Brad Pitt, according to The Daily Mail. The grand gesture served as both Pitt's 48th birthday and Christmas presents. Pitt, who has six children with Jolie, is planning to build a house over the waterfall inspired by his favorite American architect, Frank Lloyd Wright. "Brad has dreamed of a home with the sound of a waterfall cascading under the house," a source tells the site. "He wants to pull all aspects of nature, light, glass and varying levels into the concept." "Angelina wanted to get him something incredibly special and, because she knows how much he loves architecture, she thought this would be perfect," a source tells The Daily Mail. "This is the present to top all presents."

It's already been well-documented that Angelina will fuck you anywhere at anytime and she might even ask one of her chick friends to join in. Now after that, instead of getting a sandwich, you get a fucking waterfall. Step your game up, ladies.

Because he wasn't already pretty much perfect. Us Weekly says:

Brad Pitt isn't just a good-looking movie star: he's also an everyday hero! The 47-year-old father of six was filming a scene for his new movie World War Z in Glasgow, Scotland Thursday when one of 700 extras stumbled to the ground and was nearly trampled. Without hesitating, Pitt scooped the woman up and brought her back to her feet. "Lots of people hurt themselves and Brad came to the rescue of one woman who slipped," a set source told The Scottish Sun. "I don't think she could believe it when Brad picked her up." "He didn't have time to speak to her as it was mid-shoot. But she said afterwards how grateful she was, despite having a badly grazed knee."

Brad Pitt helped a girl up. He and his wife adopt orphans and donate the gross domestic product of Belize to charities every ten minutes, but helping a girl up makes him a hero? Someone should let more women know this is the only criterion. So many more of you would get laid at last call.

So, this is Lara Marsden. Lara Marsden is Brad Pitt's personal assistant on World War Z. Here's more of her MySpace pics. According to tabloids, Lara is apparently "very friendly" with Pitt, so of course that means they're fucking. I mean, why wouldn't they? Pitt is basically married to one of the most beautiful women to have ever walked the earth, has six children, and just bought a mansion in France where they all could live. So why wouldn't he fuck the chick who brings him his coffee and posts pics on MySpace of her doing flips in her kitchen? It makes perfect sense when you think about it.

This should unwreck a few homes, I think. ABC News reports:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are donating $500,000 from their foundation to help Joplin rebuild from the deadly tornado that struck the southwest Missouri town last month. The Community Foundation of the Ozarks says the gift from the Jolie-Pitt Foundation will go to mid- and long-term needs in the tornado-ravaged city. The Community Foundation announced the gift Friday in a news release. Pitt grew up in southwest Missouri and says in the release that he spent much of his childhood in the area and knows the people to be "especially resilient." The May 22 tornado destroyed more than 8,000 homes and 400 businesses. The death toll was 151 as of Friday, including several victims who died as a result of injuries suffered in the storm.

Wow, pretty much another day in the life of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. When asked for comment, Jennifer Aniston said, "Hey, did you hear I won an award from Spike? Yeah, and I'm totally dating Justin Theroux. Justin Theroux. You know him. He was in that one movie. Yeah, him. Yep, we're pretty serious now. Pretty serious. I usually don't like to talk about my private life. I normally wait until a guy I like shows up at a place I'm at until I get my publicist to release a statement saying a source claims we're dating, but I think he's the one. I really do. In fact I just texted him to tell him I love him like two minutes ago. Haha, I totally did! We're just like that with each other. But he hasn't responded yet. I should probably drive to his house to see if he's okay. I mean, it's been like three minutes now. What if he's dead? Should I drive over there? I should probably drive over there. I had a key made when he was out of town last week in case of emergencies like this. Oh my God, it's been like four minutes now. He's probably been kidnapped and is being held for ransom. Ok, I gotta go. I'll just keep calling until I get there. Wait, what if it's a coyote? Should I call the police to meet me there? I should shouldn't I?"

Brad Pitt gets to bang Angelina Jolie regularly, so that means going along with anything and everything she says. And sometimes that includes adopting a kid from a cave or thatched hut with somebody pedaling a bike to charge a car battery. Showbiz Renegade reports:

Several local entertainment sites report the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie allegedly inquired at the Hospicio de San Jose in Manila on the process on how to adopt a child. The information was first shared by Harold Geronimo, a columnist at Manila Standard Today. Geronimo said on his tweet: “It was just an inquiry of adoption process, etc. according to sources (at) Hospicio. No concrete final details yet.”...However, no official statement from Hospicio de San Jose in Manila was released either to confirm or deny the report. The couple had not also released any word as regards to any plans of adopting a child, and in particular from the Philippines.

I don't even know where the Philippines is exactly, but I do know they were named after some dude named Phillip. Angelina's Christmas cards already look like a Benneton ad, why does she need another one? Why isn't Phillip taking care of this kid? What's his deal?

Note: Before you start, yes, Angelina Jolie doesn't look like the banner pic anymore. But she did at one time. And you didn't. I hope that adequately sums up what you're feeling right now.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie attended the European premiere of The Tourist last night at the Sony Center in Berlin, and if you can't tell from these pictures, Jennifer Aniston stopped knitting a sweater for her cat long enough to write in her burn book she was so outraged. Sure, Jennifer Aniston may look okay in bikini, but she spends her holidays with Chelsea Handler while Angelina Jolie is flying around the world with her boyfriend of five years to be on red carpets to promote her new movie and celebrate her recent Golden Globe nomination. So, yeah, I guess we're pretty much done here.

Note: Seriously, say what you want about Angelina but she pay no attention to them haters cuz she whip em off.

Right. E! Online says:

The stars' The Tourist was left stranded with a second-place, $17 million weekend debut, per estimates.

What happened?

Take your pick: lousy reviews; lousy weather (sunny Los Angeles, excluded); an overall blah weekend for Hollywood; etc.

The result was a steep comedown for Depp, whose last film was Alice in Wonderland. It was more in line with 2004's Secret Window, which also happens to be the last time Depp played an ordinary man (by Depp standards).

For Jolie, this is more the norm—she hasn't had a No. 1 opener since Mr. & Mrs. Smith. (At the same time, she's had several money-makers since then, so there you go.)

With a reputed price tag of $100 million, The Tourist has a lot on the line. If Jolie and Depp weren't international draws, their film would be DOA, but they are, and The Tourist isn't. So far, the movie has debuted in a few countries overseas; its worldwide total stands at $25 million.

Please. Somewhere Jennifer Aniston and her publicist are cackling over their Cobb salads, but Angelina Jolie (and her insane legs, pictured below) is still banging Brad Pitt. I think it's safe to say she wins.