This should unwreck a few homes, I think. ABC News reports:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are donating $500,000 from their foundation to help Joplin rebuild from the deadly tornado that struck the southwest Missouri town last month. The Community Foundation of the Ozarks says the gift from the Jolie-Pitt Foundation will go to mid- and long-term needs in the tornado-ravaged city. The Community Foundation announced the gift Friday in a news release. Pitt grew up in southwest Missouri and says in the release that he spent much of his childhood in the area and knows the people to be "especially resilient." The May 22 tornado destroyed more than 8,000 homes and 400 businesses. The death toll was 151 as of Friday, including several victims who died as a result of injuries suffered in the storm.

Wow, pretty much another day in the life of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. When asked for comment, Jennifer Aniston said, "Hey, did you hear I won an award from Spike? Yeah, and I'm totally dating Justin Theroux. Justin Theroux. You know him. He was in that one movie. Yeah, him. Yep, we're pretty serious now. Pretty serious. I usually don't like to talk about my private life. I normally wait until a guy I like shows up at a place I'm at until I get my publicist to release a statement saying a source claims we're dating, but I think he's the one. I really do. In fact I just texted him to tell him I love him like two minutes ago. Haha, I totally did! We're just like that with each other. But he hasn't responded yet. I should probably drive to his house to see if he's okay. I mean, it's been like three minutes now. What if he's dead? Should I drive over there? I should probably drive over there. I had a key made when he was out of town last week in case of emergencies like this. Oh my God, it's been like four minutes now. He's probably been kidnapped and is being held for ransom. Ok, I gotta go. I'll just keep calling until I get there. Wait, what if it's a coyote? Should I call the police to meet me there? I should shouldn't I?"

Brad Pitt gets to bang Angelina Jolie regularly, so that means going along with anything and everything she says. And sometimes that includes adopting a kid from a cave or thatched hut with somebody pedaling a bike to charge a car battery. Showbiz Renegade reports:

Several local entertainment sites report the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie allegedly inquired at the Hospicio de San Jose in Manila on the process on how to adopt a child. The information was first shared by Harold Geronimo, a columnist at Manila Standard Today. Geronimo said on his tweet: “It was just an inquiry of adoption process, etc. according to sources (at) Hospicio. No concrete final details yet.”...However, no official statement from Hospicio de San Jose in Manila was released either to confirm or deny the report. The couple had not also released any word as regards to any plans of adopting a child, and in particular from the Philippines.

I don't even know where the Philippines is exactly, but I do know they were named after some dude named Phillip. Angelina's Christmas cards already look like a Benneton ad, why does she need another one? Why isn't Phillip taking care of this kid? What's his deal?

Note: Before you start, yes, Angelina Jolie doesn't look like the banner pic anymore. But she did at one time. And you didn't. I hope that adequately sums up what you're feeling right now.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie attended the European premiere of The Tourist last night at the Sony Center in Berlin, and if you can't tell from these pictures, Jennifer Aniston stopped knitting a sweater for her cat long enough to write in her burn book she was so outraged. Sure, Jennifer Aniston may look okay in bikini, but she spends her holidays with Chelsea Handler while Angelina Jolie is flying around the world with her boyfriend of five years to be on red carpets to promote her new movie and celebrate her recent Golden Globe nomination. So, yeah, I guess we're pretty much done here.

Note: Seriously, say what you want about Angelina but she pay no attention to them haters cuz she whip em off.

Right. E! Online says:

The stars' The Tourist was left stranded with a second-place, $17 million weekend debut, per estimates.

What happened?

Take your pick: lousy reviews; lousy weather (sunny Los Angeles, excluded); an overall blah weekend for Hollywood; etc.

The result was a steep comedown for Depp, whose last film was Alice in Wonderland. It was more in line with 2004's Secret Window, which also happens to be the last time Depp played an ordinary man (by Depp standards).

For Jolie, this is more the norm—she hasn't had a No. 1 opener since Mr. & Mrs. Smith. (At the same time, she's had several money-makers since then, so there you go.)

With a reputed price tag of $100 million, The Tourist has a lot on the line. If Jolie and Depp weren't international draws, their film would be DOA, but they are, and The Tourist isn't. So far, the movie has debuted in a few countries overseas; its worldwide total stands at $25 million.

Please. Somewhere Jennifer Aniston and her publicist are cackling over their Cobb salads, but Angelina Jolie (and her insane legs, pictured below) is still banging Brad Pitt. I think it's safe to say she wins.

Brad Pitt is in New Orleans, (looking very Robert Redford-like) to commemorate the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and to discuss his work there since. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t care if he was there to torch the city, but damn it if his generosity of heart doesn’t make him sexier. There are a lot of critics out there bitching about how he’s overrated. I don’t know who these people are, nor do I want to, but they should all be sent to an alternate universe where Orlando Bloom is a sex symbol and Twilight is a good movie. This is Brad freakin Pitt my friends! A true man’s man. He’s been making panties wet since Thelma & Louise and is in a relationship with arguably the most beautiful woman in the world. He’s funny, has real talent, and a smile that makes me want to climb on him like a jungle gym. All other male celebrities should take note… except you Johnny Depp -you’re doing juuuust fine.

Britain's News Of The World ran a story last week that OMG BRAD AND ANGELINA ARE BREAKING UP!!! I guess somebody should have told them before they made reservations for dinner. People reports:

"Angie and Brad were actually out to dinner together in Los Angeles when the rumor broke," says the source. "That's how ridiculous [the story] is." At the time, multiple sources told PEOPLE the report, which originated in a British tabloid, was "totally false."

I don't know if she still has the receipt, but Jennifer Aniston might want to check the return policy for that voodoo doll and love candle. I can't shake the feeling the salesperson lied to her.

Apparently falling into a deep depression after Brad Pitt moved out to film a movie, Angelina Jolie tried to kill herself. "Wait, what now? Dude," my penis said as he lifted his head up from his nap. The National Enquirer reports:

The sultry brunette beauty confessed to Brad that she was afraid her suicidal tendencies would return after learning that he'd made plans to move out
on his own, according to insiders. But the big-screen hunk assured her the separation would be temporary, and their love would survive the split, sources say. "Brad was in France checking on their chateau recently, and Angelina was in Los Angeles with the kids when she called him in a panic," a friend divulged. "She told him, 'When you're not around, I get these terrible feelings. I got the same feelings when I was younger, and that's when I tried to kill myself.' "Angelina said, 'I feel lost without you - like I'm being abandoned.'" But Brad, 46, immediately reassured the high-strung Angelina that he wasn't leaving her for good, even though he'll be living apart from her and their six children while they work on separate movie projects, the friend revealed. "Brad quickly calmed Angelina down. "I'll always be there for you and the kids. I promise.'"

I guess there are worse things than being known as the guy who made one of the most beautiful women in the world try to kill themselves because you said you were leaving for a few months. I can see how that would be a good pick up line.

Daniel Edwards, the sculptor who obviously was abused by his parents, has unveiled his new sculpture of a naked Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie called, "Brangelina Forever." No, it's not creepy at all. PR Newswire reports:

Phantom-Financial announces the December unveiling of the sculpture of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in an amorous embrace by artist Daniel Edwards, just minutes from Brad Pitt's own birthplace in the Oklahoma City Metro area. The sculpture is part of the 4,000 Sq Ft, $500,000 house named "The Brangelina," by the Los Angeles artist known as Xvala. "Brangelina Forever," a life-size casting of Brad and Angelina in bed, making love Harlequin Romance-style, with a cooing dove perched on Brad's finger, is installed in the ceiling of the master bedroom to inspire a 'sexual healing' for the room's occupants. The statues are embedded with crushed glass containing Brad and Angie's DNA obtained from wine glasses from which they drank while reportedly celebrating the anniversary of their first meeting on the set of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." "The 'Brangelina' sculpture is destined to exist forever, the way Brad and Angie's relationship will persist in peoples' memories. Theirs is the Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton romance of our time," said publicist Cory Allen. Inspired by Brad Pitt's mission to help rebuild houses in New Orleans's Lower Ninth Ward after Hurricane Katrina, the artist Xvala built "The Brangelina," a house which requests its future owners agree to extend 'Honorary Ownership' of their home to Pitt and Jolie, and to accommodate them every time they come to town to visit Pitt's grandmother. "I believe every home in America should become an 'honorary home' to our Superstars, in order to connect celebrities and regular people in spirit," said Xvala.

Everybody involved with this is clearly on drugs, so I just want to point out that I would probably still have sex with this sculpture of Angelina. Because, seriously? Who are we kidding? I've had worse.