Can Jennifer Aniston please just kill herself? Kthx Us Magazine reports:

Jennifer Aniston feels rejected and upset after Bradley Cooper ditched her for Renee Zellweger, reports the new issue of Us Weekly, on stands now. "She wanted to turn her date with Cooper into something...she honestly feels screwed over," a pal tells Us of Aniston, who dined at NYC eatery Il Cantinori on June 18 with her He's Just Not That Into You costar -- a few weeks before he began dating Zellweger. Aniston "doesn't see what Renee has that she doesn't," continues the pal...Despite Cooper's diss, Aniston will eventually bounce back, her friends insist. "She had a major crush on him and she let him know. He didn't reciprocate. She is fine," her friend tells Us. "She's used to being single and in work mode, and she's used to rejection."

I realize the media likes to paint Jennifer Aniston and all the other bitchy hags in Hollywood as "unlucky in love", but there comes a point where you have to take a step back and ask yourself what the common denominator is in all these relationships? Why would guys rather throw themselves in a lion pit than be on a date with Teri Hatcher for thirty minutes? Why does Cameron Diaz have a better chance of being exposed to gamma rays than being engaged? What's up with Jennifer Aniston's chin? Christ, it's huge. Like my model train collection. What up, ladies?!

Unconvincing sex symbol, Cameron Diaz, reportedly found a new boyfriend in Bradley Cooper (this dude), and the pair just spent a romantic weekend together in NYC. Oooh, lucky him!

They dined at Asia de Cuba at Morgans Hotel Saturday night and then hit the "SNL" after-party at Primehouse on Park Avenue South. One onlooker told us the twosome "were very close and lovey. Something is definitely going on, and it's clear they are more than just friends."

Yeah, that's what it is. Every time Cameron finds a man we hear how "something is definitely going on," then it's over a week later. Gee, I wonder why? Maybe it's because she's one of the biggest self-righteous bitches in Hollywood. Other people agree that it's because she looks like some sort of previously undiscovered deep sea creature that learned to walk on dry land. Oh God, it's Cameron Diaz! Run!!!

Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher on the set of What Happens in Vegas: