Avril Lavigne is known as a courteous, intelligent, kindhearted person, so when she got into a fight with a stranger, it came as a shock to everyone. Except now. TMZ reports:

Brody Jenner was cracked in the head with a bottle trying to break up a fight in Hollywood early this morning -- and law enforcement tells TMZ ... the fight was between an unknown girl and Brody's GF, Avril Lavigne. According to our sources, Avril got into a dust-up shortly before 1:00 AM at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. We're told when Brody tried to intervene ... he took a bottle to the head from someone for his troubles. Law enforcement sources tell us hotel security broke up the fight and detained Brody and others involved. Police were called to the hotel and when all was said and done ... we're told the police report listed Brody as the victim of an assault with a deadly weapon. Our sources say Brody was the only one involved who spoke to police -- the other combatants (including Avril) had split by the time they arrived. We're told Brody refused medical attention and went to the hospital on his own.

This story confirms what you already think of Avril Lavigne. Avril Lavigne almost got her teeth knocked straight by a stranger because she's a bratty, entitled, instigating little shit. Brody helped her out, so she left him bleeding to deal with cops alone. The only way she could be a better girlfriend would be to kick him in the nuts when he comes home to find her fucking his best friend.

Brody Jenner's mom likes Avril Lavigne. Can you tell it's a slow news day? E! Online says:

"They're almost a year together," Jenner's mom Linda Thompson told us last night at the Global Action Forum awards gala in Beverly Hills. "She's an amazing young woman and I feel really fortunate that she's in our lives."

So have the couple started planning a walk down the aisle?

"Not yet," Thompson said. "I mean they're very young. They both have their careers to concentrate on."

But that doesn't mean Brody's mama doesn't think they'll one day tie the knot!

When asked if she thinks they'll be together forever, Thompson gushed, "I actually do yeah."

"You never know what will happen but they are well suited for each other," she said. "She's such a lovely person and surprisingly, she's a real home body. She loves to cook and she's really grounded and very familial. She's into close-knit family time. I really respect her."

Avril Lavigne is a moronic, self-obsessed, drunk divorcee who looks, dresses, and acts like a 14-year-old cutter, but Brody Jenner's mom is stoked to have her. If her hopes for her children are this high, I can only imagine how proud she'd be if she were Montana Fishburne's mom. "I admire her independence. She makes her own money and doesn't rely on her parents, and that takes a lot of strength."

I...I...I don't even know. Kim said:

Every year the whole family gets together to take pics for our family Christmas card. This year was extra special because we had a new addition to the family… little Mason! We went super glam this year and each went for our own look. Kourt chose a tailored suit to match Mason and Scott, Khloe went for gorgeous peach ruffles and I chose a floor-length white gown. How stunning do Kendall and Kylie look!? This might be my favorite of all our family Christmas cards!

If somebody can show me in this picture where I'm supposed to see "super glam" and "stunning" that would be great. Christ. This picture couldn't be less realistic if there was a dragon in a tuxedo and the Hezbollah looking baby had Doc Ock robot arms.

On August 27th, Brody Jenner and his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, claimed that Girl's Gone Wild founder, Joe Francis, "pulled Jayde's hair, punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her." Francis adamantly denied these allegations, calling Jayde a liar and that he would be vindicated. I had to look in the dictionary to see if "vindicated" still meant what I thought it did. As it turns out, Joe Francis might have used it wrong.

Jayde Nicole in a bikini. Respect. You can also check out her Playboy pics HERE (NSFW, duh):

The Hills star, Brody Jenner, the son of Olympian Bruce Jenner and step-brother to the Kardashians, beat down Girls Gone Wild douchebag Joe Francis last night. Man, you'll never guess why. TMZ reports:

According to Jenner, he and his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, were at the club celebrating his birthday, when Jayde saw Francis hitting on an ex-girlfriend of his (Francis), Jenner says "unrelentingly." Jayde felt he was harassing the woman -- whom Jayde and Brody know -- and she threw a drink on Francis. Jenner says Francis then pulled Jayde's hair, punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her. Security broke it up and Francis got dragged away -- Brody followed. Jenner says he started yelling at Francis and both men were ejected from the club. Outside the club, Jenner says he tried to get back in to see Jayde but security wouldn't let him back in. Jenner then saw Joe, punched him in the face, and then someone tased him and he fell to the ground. Francis left the scene. The cops came but no one was arrested. Jayde tells TMZ she will press charges against Francis. Jayde has black and blue cheek, her face is swollen, she has a bruised left rib and her lower abdomen is sour. Some of of hair got pulled out.

UPDATE: Brody put the following message on his Twitter: "Joe Francis beat up my lady this morning for no reason! Pulled her to the ground, punched & kicked her..what does that say about him. How can you call yourself a man when you beat up a girl?? Joe Francis is a piece of sh*t. Joe Francis needs to be in jail!!!"

All you ever need to know about Joe Francis you can read HERE. And after reading it you don't want to break in your new 12-gauge on his skull, you should probably rethink your life. I usually don't say stuff like this and mean it, but if this asshole would wake up tomorrow buried under concrete, the world would be a better place. I may write about tits all day, but I'm just some idiot on a couch eating Ramen noodles and watching Two and Half Men reruns. This guy actually started a business so he could get girls drunk and have them make out with each other so when he raped them they wouldn't mind seem to mind. If justice existed, this piece of shit would be injected with gasoline and thrown into a volcano.



Pic source: TMZ (duh)

Above: Lexie Contursi AKA Sexi Lexi at the Valentine's Day Charity Party for Playmate Jayde Nicole's "Lengths of Love."

Jayde, who is dating Sir Douchey Spencer Pratt planned "Lengths of Love" as a charity where Brody and Jayde grow their hair out for a year, then cut it off and donate it to charity.

Great. So some poor cancer patient is going to get hair that was in the page's of Playboy and hair so gelled to shit that it looks like their hair stood up straight and stayed that way when they were told they had cancer.

Hef is still out partying, which is nice. But it's sort of like Grandpa telling sex jokes: it's charming until he whips his dick out.