Who in the hell knows why, but Brooke Hogan performed at Calle Ocho 2009 in Miami on Sunday. In related news, the NFL Players Association elected its new Executive Director on Sunday, too. He is expected bring in progressive ideas to avoid a possible 2011 labor strike. I can't seem to shake the feeling that these two are somehow related.
My other job as a secret government assassin is normally pretty flexible, so sorry for just posting in the morning yesterday. In the business of death, you have to make those hard decisions, and sometimes things get left behind. Like these pictures of Brooke Hogan at the Grammys. I know I said big tits are great, but it helps if whatever is attached to them doesn't just have trace amounts of estrogen. I appreciate the effort sweetie, I do, but when all you have to do is spray paint this bitch green and she could go fight crime with Iron Man and Spider-Man, D-cups aren't really that much of a selling point.
Hulk Hogan has spent untold millions and secured his daughter her own reality show to buy Brock Hogan a career as a pop singer. How's it going you may ask? Tampa Bay's The Juice says:
Brooke and her VH1 handlers are shooting an episode of Brooke Knows Best at the Florida State Fair on Feb. 6. Buy your tickets now! Wilson Media tells tbt* and The Juice* that the deal is "90 percent done," but Hogan is "due to wrestle" Rick Flair's son in a circus tent after the last show of the day by Circus Hollywood.
I hope no one is upset that Brock Hogan* career consists of wrestling dudes in circus tents in between hormone treatments. I mean, I hate the whole Hogan family, so this works out pretty well for me. If I ran over Nick Hogan by accident I'd jump out of my truck and start doing the robot and giving bystanders high-fives to make them think I did it on purpose.
Nice legs. Maybe somebody should tie them together and make a raft:
The above video is being passed around the internet as a leaked "Brooke Hogan" cover. I didn't know people were leaking Brooke Hogan covers, but there is a definite reason why: It blows.
Here's a hint for all you aspiring pop stars out there: stay way from home recordings. You can't pitch-correct yourself, you're not accompanied by any air-brushed artwork and - here's the important part - very few people care about a professional wrestler's daughter, turned F-list reality TV star, turned failed pop singer.
Anyway, it's really bad, as is her face in these pictures of her rollerblading. Like you were planning to look at her face...
Nick Hogan was released from Pinellas County Jail just after midnight Tuesday morning. We're told he arrived back at his mom Linda's house to a thumping party, replete with loud music and cops surveying the scene. Nick pleaded no contest to a felony charge of reckless driving involving serious bodily injury back in May. He was sentenced to eight months but only served the aforementioned 166 days due to "good time" credit. His best friend, John Graziano, remains hospitalized and will require medical care the rest of his life."
In case you missed that, Nick Hogan was welcomed back to Clearwater with a big, loud party thrown by his worthless, enabling mother. If John J. Graziano was able to form a thought, I bet he'd be totally cool with that. Especially since one of things his doctors can figure out to do with his head is "collect sea shells." That's so much fun!
Note: Be sure to check out this video of the tearful reunion between Nick and Brock. You know, the two people in this story who can walk.
Tom Cruise Farts on Letterman [College Humor]
Guy Ritchie hated Madonna's body [Hollywood Rag]
Pink was in rehab [Dlisted]
Mary-Kate Olsen's car accident video [Just Jared]
Heidi Klum ruins a see through moment [Hollywood Tuna]
DJ AM and Mandy Moore keep things friendly [Popsugar]
Christina Aguilera eye opener [City Rag]
Malin Ackerman drops some cleavage [Popoholic]
Ashlee Simpson is still pregnant [Lainey Gossip]
Gisele Bundchen has a see through shirt (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Aisleyne Horgan Wallace in a wet t-shirt and a thong (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Min. Pleasure (Max Payne) [Pajiba]
Audrina Patridge gets dunked [Egotastic]
Kevin Smith wants to drop some serious poundage [Socialite Life]
Banner pic: Brooke Hogan'sidiodic MySpace blog in regard to her brother, Nick Hogan's, release from jail. Click image for larger picture.
Us Magazine reports that Brooke Hogan has turned down an non-existentoffer to pose in Playboy. Oh, darn.
"Brooke just didn’t feel that it was the right time," her rep tells Usmagazine.com exclusively. "It's not out of the question for the future, but we'll have to see."
Penis' mood: Asleep
Currently listening to: Dude Looks Like a Lady, Aerosmith
Nick's being released from Pinellas County Jail on Oct. 21, three months short of the eight-month sentence he got for felony reckless driving. His early release is for good behavior. The victim of the crash, John Graziano, remains in a vegetative state."
If there's one thing you can count on, it's the fact that our criminal justice system is irrevocably broken. That, and these mutant hybrid puma scorpions that I've trained to use spicy mustard with the intestines of overpriveledged, pampered wiggers who get out of jail early. Their judgment swift. Their punishments exacting. Their hunger insatiable.
Update: Here's what John Graziano's "life" is like now. It's disturbing and could be NSFW depending on where you work, so you've been warned. It's newsworthy, so please don't whine about us posting it like some of you did with the Shanna Moakler post.
Brock Hogan still trying to look like her body contains estrogen:
