If these pictures Diddy's girlfriend, Cameron Diaz, in Paris are cropped wrong or out of order or whatever it's because I couldn't look at them for more than a few seconds while I was editing them. I'm trying to type with my eyes closed but I can't really see so maybe I could just crack them a lit....AAHHHHH!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Lay off the Ciroc, nigga (wait, I can say "nigga", right? I'm a minority, we're all friends here. Hey, down with whitey and other minority things like that!). People reports:

Nearly a month after they were spotted together at lunch, Cameron Diaz and Diddy are keeping those dating rumors alive after a cozy night out at New York's PH-D Rooftop Lounge atop the Dream Downtown Hotel. The actress started her night at Marble Lane Restaurant with a large group of friends before heading up to the roof after midnight. Diddy joined their table around 1:15, and ordered bottles of booze for the table, where Diaz was dancing with her friends and drinking, too. According to a source, the table was packed and "Cameron and Diddy were very affectionate." Still, a rep says the two, who left the club with their friends around 3:15 a.m., are not an item.

"Lounge" and "bottles of booze" are really the only things that can explain this other than Diddy casting for his new show Making The Zombie, because Cameron Diaz looks like she belongs in a 2nd grade reading list book luring children into her gingerbread house.

Cameron Diaz basically just said "fuck it" and attended a Halloween party dressed as herself. Which is fine because I read on her IMDB profile that the screams of small children is what gives her power.

"Wait a minute, I've been dating Cameron Diaz all this time? Fuck! Why didn't anybody tell me??!" - Alex Rodriguez. Us Magazine reports:

After a year back together, Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez have ended their romance. "They broke up recently," a source close to the Yankee slugger, 36, confirms to Us Weekly. The duo's low-profile love was marked by beach getaways and intense workouts together. So what got in the way? Their work ethic! "She's very busy with her career," the source says of Bad Teacher actress Diaz, 39. "And he's had injuries and wants to focus on his game. They're dedicated professionals." Accordingly, don't expect any drama in the wake of their split. "They're still very friendly and like each other," the source says. "He has an enormous amount of respect for each other."

When you look at the banner picture, it's hard to imagine why a legendary player and multimillionaire on the most storied franchise in Major League Baseball who could walk down the street and get young vagina at rollback prices would ever willingly break up with Cameron Diaz. I bet he was under a lot of pressure from his family because she's Cuban. Nobody likes Cubans.

In his new book, Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard, Lee Weaver, describes a typical night out. You know, where she wanted to fight Cameron Diaz. Radar Online reports:

RadarOnline.com obtained an exclusive copy of Weaver’s new book, Memoirs of a Celebrity Bodyguard, in which he details a night out on duty with Lohan at a Hollywood club where they ran into Diaz and Timberlake. “They sat right next to us in another booth,” Weaver writes. “Right after that I heard one of Lindsay’s girlfriend say, ‘There is that b**ch! Go kick her a** right now.’” Weaver claims that Lohan attempted to ditch Weaver in an effort to have words with Diaz, but with bodyguards surrounding both tables, it was the unlikeliest of heroes coming to the rescue — Timberlake! “Justin walked right up to me and said, ‘Hey big man can I talk to you for a second?’” Weaver writes. “Justin says, ‘Cameron and Lindsay are looking at each other like they want to kill each other. I don’t know what this is all about but I came out just to listen to some music and have a good time. I definitely don’t want to fight you and I know you don’t want to fight me. This is what we can do. I will keep Cameron in our booth and you keep Lindsay in her booth.’” Weaver implies in the book that it was Lohan who was the instigator, and after coming to an agreement, Timberlake and Diaz left the club just 20 minutes later.

Lindsay Lohan is a cunt, Cameron Diaz is a beast, Justin Timberlake is a sissy. Big surprise. This had to have happened when Lohan wasn't wearing a SCRAM bracelet, though, because there is no way any sober person would want to fuck with that banner picture. Except maybe Beowulf, but only if he had reinforcements.

Cameron Diaz still pays for skin flicks. Us Weekly reports:

On Thursday's Jimmy Kimmel Live, when the host asked her if she enjoyed watching dirty movies, Diaz replied, "I love porn!"

And it seems the racy flicks are a favorite pastime for the star when she's traveling.

"You know what I love about hotels? How discreet they are," Diaz said. "I love that. They always give you that little thing at the bottom, 'Your room will be charged the same as any other room, no titles will be used.' [All the movies] cost the same amount."

As for her own bedroom behavior, Diaz told Playboy last year that she likes it a little rough.

"I'm primal on an animalistic level, kind of like, 'Bonk me over the head, throw me over your shoulder," she told the mag. "You man, me woman.' Not everybody has the right kind of primal thing for me...I love physical contact. I have to be touching my lover, like, always. It's not optional."

She likes being clubbed over the head and she's obviously never heard of the Internet. If her fling with A-Rod doesn't work out, Bamm-Bamm's probably legal now.

On Lopez Tonight, Cameron Diaz revealed to whoever watches Lopez Tonight that she used to buy weed from Snoop Dogg in high school. Or she might not have. She's pretty sure she did. She thinks. Us Magazine reports:

"We went to high school together," the Bad Teacher actress, 38, said of her fellow Long Beach Polytechnic High School alum, 39, on Wednesday's Lopez Tonight. "He was a year older than me....I remember him, he was very tall and skinny. He wore lots of ponytails." Another thing that hasn't changed: his passion for pot. "I'm pretty sure I bought weed from him," Diaz said of Snoop, who has a medical marijuana card. "I was green even in high school!"

I realize this was supposed to make her seem cooler, but it's Cameron Diaz. She looks like something a civilian diving team who are enlisted to search for a lost nuclear submarine might encounter. She's unattractive, you see.

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz showed up to the Knight and Day premiere in Mexico City last night. Take a long look at the banner picture, because the vampire that's been burned alive and dumped in the swamp on the right is supposed to be the most beautiful women in Hollywood. She looks like an albino frog that's dressing up like Heather Locklear for Halloween. If I ever played pool with Cameron Diaz, I'm pretty sure I'd break my stick over my leg and make a cross at some point.