Jessica Simpson's boyfriend is subtle [The Superficial]
Megan Fox makes my penis, um, how do you say? Hard. [Popoholic]
Leonore Capell upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie]
96 pics of Katy Perry's boobs [COED Magazine]
Picture photoshopped with technology found on Pandora [Celebslam]
Grettell Valdez. Holy mother of God. [Egotastic]
Coco's ass is..I..I..I give up [Cityrag]
James Cameron is rich, bitch [Cele|bitchy]
Bianca Balti is hot [Heyman Hustle]

If yellow cake uranium or a dead homeless man were for sale on eBay, they might want to use these pictures as their business logo.

I'd be more than happy to leave my MS paint masterpiece of Pocahontas as the top post all day for the world to enjoy, but the people who pay me say I have to update this thing once in a while, so here's Candice Swanepoel in a bikini. There, is that updated enough?! When will I ever be good enough for you?!

Victoria's Secret has released their Valentine's Day collection, so that means Candice Swanepoel, Miranda Kerr, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in more pictures looking nothing like your girlfriend when she wears stuff like this. I mean, don't me wrong, your girlfriend is really nice, but hopefully if she writes enough letters Victoria's Secret will start selling magic lamps.

St. Barts is apparently ground zero for hot Victoria's Secret ass right now, and as my penis hoped for in his diary, Candice Swanepoel showed up yesterday. Christ, she's beautiful. This chick might be too perfect to fuck. I'm afraid if I bent her over the arm of the couch I might get my penis caught in a rainbow.

Candice Swanepoel has stooped to being in the Macy's Valentine's Day gift catalog, and though Macy's catalog only displays the most tame of underwear, Candice managed to pull off hocking a department store with a style only matched by when I turn tricks outside the Denny's.

It's not the location, it's the attitude.

That advice, plus the handjob will be $5. Yes, I'm aware that's cheaper than the Grand Slam you just had. I don't have a lot of self esteem.

I have no idea when or where these were taken, but I'm just seeing them now, so if you want to argue semantics over the word "new" feel free. In the meantime, here's Candice Swanepoel with her nipple hanging out in what appears to be a another subversive ploy by the fashion industry to make you buy things totally based on sex. And this time, it's not gonna work. The people who made this dress said they don't even have my size.

Click for NSFW pics: