The public feud between Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood (read more here and here) is back on today after Carrie called Jessica Simpson a fatass. OK! Magazine reports:

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen: the catfight between Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson continues, and someone's about to draw blood! Carrie's claws have come out following Jessica's recent interview, in which she gushes over current boyfriend (and Carrie's ex) Tony Romo, saying, "I just told him today, 'You're the love of my life.'" In the interview Jessica also says she's unconcerned by Carrie's claims of getting calls from Tony, admitting that she checks his phone logs and knows exactly who he does and does not call...."She finds Jessica's love of putting her life on display pretty desperate," a pal of the "Before He Cheats" singer tells OK!. "She laughed at the People cover, because it's the same one Jess did about John Mayer - same smile, same look, except she's a little fatter.""

I don't care what steps they need to take to resolve this feud, but it's pretty clear it should somehow involve Carrie Underwood getting naked.

Although he is dating Jessica Simpson, Dallas Cowboys quarterback, Tony Romo, allegedly still calls his ex-girlfriend, Carrie Underwood. Earlier this month, Underwood told Allure: "We were both small-town people doing very big things, and we relied on each other, dealing with fame. I don't know. The phone will ring and it'll be him, and I'll maybe not answer." But have no fear, that shit totally didn't happen, because Jessica Simpson is on the case! US Magazine reports:

Jessica Simpson insists her beau Tony Romo isn't calling his ex Carrie Underwood. "I looked at his call log," she said Wednesday in an interview with a Nashville radio station..."Tony and I both laughed at that," Simpson said. "We got a chuckle out of it."

Wow, why didn't I think of that?! Check his phone log! Brilliant! Because you know Tony wouldn't immediately delete those if he was calling another girl behind your back. Men aren't good with technology, so we wouldn't even know how to do that! I usually put white out on my phone, but no more!


Photos: Splash

We tried to wait for better quality versions of these to hit the Net, but we gave up. It's Carrie Underwood in a bikini, so hopefully you can forgive us for the crappy quality of these pictures. Country music sucks but they seem to have the musical market cornered on hot chicks (Sara Evans, Shania Twain, Taylor Swift, Faith Hill, Kellie Pickler, LeAnn Rimes, Miranda Lambert, etc.), so I'd gladly wear an orange camouflage hat and drink warm beer if that's what it took to use Carrie Underwood's ankles like the handles of an elliptical machine. What can I say? I'm a romantic like that.

In an obvious swipe at Carrie Underwood, Jessica Simpson wore her bitterness and jealousy on her shirt a few nights ago because her life is complete and utter fail. So, I'm sure this made her feel good. OK Magazine reports:

Following lunch with pals at Dos Caminos in NYC's SoHo on June 11, Jess, 27, returned to her hotel, where a girl asked for her autograph. "She said she was her number-one fan from back in the Idol days," an eyewitness tells OK!. "Jessica smiled politely and didn't correct her, and she started to laugh when the girl asked how she was doing since her devastating split from Chace [Crawford]." Jess didn't end up giving her John Hancock, and though she took it all in stride, a pal tells OK!, "She wasn't pleased that the girl had no clue who she was!"

Please understand that the only competition between Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood is in Jessica Simpson's mind. Carrie Underwood has the #1 song on the country chart. Last week, Jessica Simpson ordered a #1 with fries. Carrie Underwood has five Grammys. Jessica Simpson has had five cosmetic surgeries. An artist's rendition of how much Jessica Simpson is owned shows Jessica's body wrapped in a tarp and Carrie Underwood standing over it like the Captain Morgan pirate.

Jessica Simpson looking like shit in Hollywood this weekend:


Carrie Underwood not looking like shit at the CMA Music Festival:

Before he started questioning his own sexuality, Tony Romo used to date Carrie Underwood. Carrie Underwood is now single. Guess who she wants to get with now? Catfight! Daily News says:

Jessica Simpson loves Tony Romo. Tony Romo seems to love Jessica back. BUT Tony's family loves Tony's ex-girlfriend Carrie Underwood, and Carrie Underwood is newly single and rumored to be interested in reuniting with Tony. Jessica Simpson better watch her man's back."

Last time I checked, women can buy a pair of DDs, so if I was Jessica Simpson I wouldn't feel real confident about my only redeeming asset right about now. Actually, if I was Jessica Simpson, I'd take a bath with a downed power line, but more to the point, Carrie Underwood is hot. She's a fresh-faced piece of ass with the voice of an angel. Meanwhile, Jessica Simpson is a drunk unconvincing drag queen who, based on the circumstantial evidence, probably got finger banged by her dad at one point. C'mon Tony. Everybody knows that choosy penises choose Carrie Underwood.

Carrie Underwood attended the Idol Gives Back 2008 concert last night, and she apparently didn't like it when she was asked about her break up with Chace Crawford. Extra reports:

We broke up over text so...it's like 'peace out,'" Carrie told our Terri Seymour. "I don't know why it's all out now," Carrie continued, "when you break up with somebody and then like two months later it comes out, it's like you're rehashing old stuff."

Yeah, they broke up in December, so I'm not understanding why they brought this up now. Just like when that chick who plays Ugly Betty called me today and said she was pregnant from that time during Christmas. Then I hung up. You can't live in the past, man.

Either she was hooked up to an air pump right before these pictures were taken or Fergie is pregnant. I'm not sure how they're able to do that on Fergie's home planet, but hey, congratulations.


Beyonce was nominated for several awards, and for good luck she rubbed the corpse of Yoko Ono, who now works as a doorman.


When asked who she was excited to see perform Amy Lee said, "Quiznos. You see, every sandwich is toasted and...um, uh...I meant to say Beyonce. Yeah, that's what I meant. Beyonce."


Carrie Underwood gets points for looking hot, but I don't think I understand the big ass vein on her head. Is she trying to read my mind? Levitate a car? Throw a bookcase? Somebody might want to investigate that.

Although she was unable to attend the 50th Annual Grammy Awards last night because her visa application was rejected, Amy Winehouse pulled off a near clean sweep. Winning five awards (Record of the Year, Best New Artist, Song of the Year for "Rehab," Best Vocal Album and Best Pop Vocal Performance), Winehouse's only loss was to Herbie Hancock for Album of The Year. Us Magazine reports:

After accepting her award, an emotional Winehouse, who was joined on stage by her dad and mom, thanked her parents, record label and "incarcerated Blake" - her husband, who has been behind bars since last last year. "I can't believe I've won 5 awards. It's a shame I couldn't be there to accept the awards but I'm so proud and happy that I had the opportunity to perform for the Grammys in my hometown of London with my family and friends around me," she said. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"."

Amy Winehouse is a unique talent, so I guess it's good she's getting as many of these out of the way as she can. Because the only other thing Amy Winehouse is good at is sucking up drugs like a Dyson. If you stacked up all the drugs Amy Winehouse has ever done, you could steal the hen that laid golden eggs.

Amy allegedly "leaving rehab" last week: