Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford apparently had a sexual relationship with Shauna Sand when he was 18 and she was 32. At least I think she was 32. I'm not really sure how to calculate zombie years. Star Magazine reports:

"He was so incredibly beautiful — I immediately fell in love with him!" Shauna tells Star exclusively about meeting Chase at a college party in Malibu. The couple began dating "and I even gave him a key to my apartment," Shauna said. They quickly wore out a path to the bedroom. And though Chace has said he dated a girl for three years while in high school, a friend tells Star: "Chace told me, 'Shauna was the first girl I ever had sex with! She blew my mind, and I'll never forget it!'"

If I was Chace Crawford, I would go to the nearest Wal-Mart, buy a shotgun, and blow my fuckin brains out. There's no way he ever wanted this to come out. To reiterate, the world just found out that he lost his virginity to Shauna Sand. Shauna. Sand. His publicist better find a magic lamp or convince some aliens to invade and colonize Earth, because this is bad. Really bad. In fact, in a recent poll of my penis, he said he would rather lose virginity to a bear trap.


Vomit:

Although Lindsay Lohan publicly acknowledged her relationship with Samantha Ronson on the air and despite the fact that Samantha gave her a $100,000 diamond engagement ring, Lindsay has other plans. Namely, Chace Crawford. Mirror says:

"After meeting him at the Diesel XXX Rock party in New York, the pair swapped numbers - and she has been calling him up to four times a day ever since. Our party mole says: "Lindsay took a real shine to Chace and was pretty much throwing herself at him all night. She was standing in such a way that some part of her body was always touching him - at one point hip to hip. She was also giving him the filthiest looks, whispering in his ear, and turning everything he said into an innuendo. Everyone on the set of Gossip Girl has been teasing him mercilessly as Lindsay has been calling him three or four times a day and sending provocative text messages. Although she may just be having a laugh and not have any serious amorous intentions, everyone reckons Sam will go mad when she finds out...."

I know some people want to think that this is true lesbian love, but c'mon, dude. It's Lindsay Lohan. Whenever she gets around famous actor penis she becomes the Millenium Falcon the time it got too close to the Death Star. The pull is too powerful, man. She can't help herself. She's like Popeye if Popeye ate semen.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson at a DJ gig at Lotus in Washington, Oct. 17th. Splash says:

"Lindsay Lohan appeared to have some serious mood swings as she supported girlfriend Samantha Ronson at a recent DJ gig. The actress initially appeared completely anti-social, asking for a screen to be put up so only a select few at Lotus in Washington D.C. could even see her. And instead of grooving to Samantha's tunes, she spent the first part of her girlfriend's set instead staring at a computer looking through MySpace. But then Samantha went up to Lindsay, shared a laugh and, according to witnesses, gave Lindsay a kiss that completely changed her mood. "She suddenly got up and started wildly dancing," one club-goer said. "Everyone went wild, calling out her name, as she really got into dancing. It was so bizarre seeing her suddenly change like that." He later saw the duo kissing backstage. "They looked like they were really into each other," he said. "They were not putting it on."

Photos: Splash