The banner pic is Chelsea Handler in case the headline caused any confusion - Todd
On Monday, unfunny "comedienne" Chelsea Handler appeared on Howard Stern and proceeded to talk shit about fellow E! personality Joan Rivers. Today, Joan Rivers appeared on Howard Stern and completely annihilated Handler so bad that Haiti set up a relief hotline. Radar Online reports:

"Number one, the girl made it on her back fucking the president, we all know that, of the network. Number two, she's fine, she's ordinary. She's not a genius," Joan told Howard, referring to Chelsea's past relationship with E! President Ted Harbert. "Whatever she is, she's a drunk. I don't wish her good luck, I don't wish her bad luck," Joan said. "I don't think she's particularly funny. But don't you come after me, you whore."

There's really nothing else I need to add here except Joan Rivers couldn't be more spot on if she was melanoma.

Good. Everybody should. GLAAD says:

Last night’s episode of Chelsea Lately repeatedly made a mockery of Chaz Bono’s transgender identity when discussing the transgender advocate’s upcoming appearance on Dancing With the Stars. Host Chelsea Handler herself started the discussion off with a joke about Chaz Bono’s identity and anatomy, but was joined a few moments later by two members of her all-comedian panel in using transphobic humor to mock him. Chelsea Handler: "The Dancing with the Stars cast has been announced and, this is season 13, it includes Chaz Bono, otherwise known as Chastity Bono [laughs] before she got her penis [laughs]…". This is especially disheartening coming from a show whose host has made a point of being publicly supportive of the LGBT community, though the content of her show has skirted with crossing the line on more than one occasion. After learning of the incident earlier today, GLAAD reached out to the show, which has yet to respond. GLAAD calls on Handler and the show to apologize for the jokes, and asks them to invite Bono, or another transgender celebrity like Top Model’s Isis King, to make an appearance and offer viewers the chance to get to know them beyond a few hurtful punch-lines.

Let me preface this by saying that Chelsea Handler is a talentless, unfunny cunt who sucked off half of Hollywood to get her own show and shows gratitude for her undeserved fame by treating anyone and everyone around her like shit. Whew. That's out of the way. Now, in case you didn't know, Chaz/Chastity/Whatever doesn't have a penis yet. So, she's just a really fat lesbian with a beard. And really fat lesbians with beards are funny. And really fat lesbians with beards who think they can make it through the tango without medical personnel standing by are funnier. In closing, maybe Chelsea Handler can save that joke for when Trans Bono get its dick. Then maybe she can look at it to see if she recognizes it.

Surprise! Wonder why E! didn't report on this? Page Six says:

Chelsea Handler lived up to her party-girl reputation at a summer bash for her hotelier boyfriend, Andre Balazs, when she was escorted out of the men’s bathroom at the Frying Pan by bar security.Handler attended the party for Standard Hotel employees on the restored boat in the Hudson River, docked north of Chelsea Piers, with Balazs on Monday.
But sources at the event say a bouncer caught her and “a dude with gold shoes” in a stall in the men’s bathroom and ushered them both out.

In a bathroom stall with a man with gold shoes? As far as I know, Chelsea Handler isn't a gay dude, so fuck it. Change "might be" to "definitely is."

Serbians are so sensitive. The NY Daily News reports:

Chelsea Handler is the latest comedian being asked to apologize for an off-color routine.

On Monday's episode of her E! late-night series "Chelsea Lately," Handler made jokes about Serbians in a segment related to Amy Winehouse's recent disastrous concert in Serbia. "Along with Chris Franjola, Natasha Leggero, and Greg Proops, Ms. Handler for 3 straight minutes ruthlessly attacked Serbia and its people," it says on a Facebook page calling for a boycott of the star until she apologizes on air. Handler and her panel, as well as the audience, laughed as she said she didn't know Serbians were allowed to attend concerts. Handler's "worst comment" implied that "Serbia and its people are a shame and disappointment." "For the sake of trying to seem comical, these 'comedians' have viciously attacked Serbia and its people," the post continued. "Their attempt at comedy has horrendously failed, and instead turned into outright hate speech!" The page, liked by more than 27,000 people, also urges a boycott of NBC Universal and the show's sponsors, such as Panasonic and Dr. Pepper. A petition on the site change.org, which encourages people to fight for social causes, had more than 12,000 signatures as of press time. Filip Filipi, who organized the Facebook page, told The Hollywood Reporter he was "in talks" with Handler's team about issuing an official apology.

I didn't see the episode, but "hate speech" is probably a bit much, because "hate" implies that you care. Before Amy Winehouse's trainwreck video surfaced, I doubt Chelsea Handler knew Serbia existed. In any case, I'm not Serbian, but I'm willing to boycott Chelsea Handler by continuing to not watch her show. Not because I was offended, but because she's, you know, never ever funny.

Serbians are so sensitive. The NY Daily News reports:

Chelsea Handler is the latest comedian being asked to apologize for an off-color routine.

On Monday's episode of her E! late-night series "Chelsea Lately," Handler made jokes about Serbians in a segment related to Amy Winehouse's recent disastrous concert in Serbia. "Along with Chris Franjola, Natasha Leggero, and Greg Proops, Ms. Handler for 3 straight minutes ruthlessly attacked Serbia and its people," it says on a Facebook page calling for a boycott of the star until she apologizes on air. Handler and her panel, as well as the audience, laughed as she said she didn't know Serbians were allowed to attend concerts. Handler's "worst comment" implied that "Serbia and its people are a shame and disappointment." "For the sake of trying to seem comical, these 'comedians' have viciously attacked Serbia and its people," the post continued. "Their attempt at comedy has horrendously failed, and instead turned into outright hate speech!" The page, liked by more than 27,000 people, also urges a boycott of NBC Universal and the show's sponsors, such as Panasonic and Dr. Pepper. A petition on the site change.org, which encourages people to fight for social causes, had more than 12,000 signatures as of press time. Filip Filipi, who organized the Facebook page, told The Hollywood Reporter he was "in talks" with Handler's team about issuing an official apology.

I didn't see the episode, but "hate speech" is probably a bit much, because "hate" implies that you care. Before Amy Winehouse's trainwreck video surfaced, I doubt Chelsea Handler knew Serbia existed. In any case, I'm not Serbian, but I'm willing to boycott Chelsea Handler by continuing to not watch her show. Not because I was offended, but because she's, you know, never ever funny.

Serbians are so sensitive. The NY Daily News reports:

Chelsea Handler is the latest comedian being asked to apologize for an off-color routine.

On Monday's episode of her E! late-night series "Chelsea Lately," Handler made jokes about Serbians in a segment related to Amy Winehouse's recent disastrous concert in Serbia. "Along with Chris Franjola, Natasha Leggero, and Greg Proops, Ms. Handler for 3 straight minutes ruthlessly attacked Serbia and its people," it says on a Facebook page calling for a boycott of the star until she apologizes on air. Handler and her panel, as well as the audience, laughed as she said she didn't know Serbians were allowed to attend concerts. Handler's "worst comment" implied that "Serbia and its people are a shame and disappointment." "For the sake of trying to seem comical, these 'comedians' have viciously attacked Serbia and its people," the post continued. "Their attempt at comedy has horrendously failed, and instead turned into outright hate speech!" The page, liked by more than 27,000 people, also urges a boycott of NBC Universal and the show's sponsors, such as Panasonic and Dr. Pepper. A petition on the site change.org, which encourages people to fight for social causes, had more than 12,000 signatures as of press time. Filip Filipi, who organized the Facebook page, told The Hollywood Reporter he was "in talks" with Handler's team about issuing an official apology.

I didn't see the episode, but "hate speech" is probably a bit much, because "hate" implies that you care. Before Amy Winehouse's trainwreck video surfaced, I doubt Chelsea Handler knew Serbia existed. In any case, I'm not Serbian, but I'm willing to boycott Chelsea Handler by continuing to not watch her show. Not because I was offended, but because she's, you know, never ever funny.

Chelsea Handler's body was exhumed this weekend so she could sign copies of her book at Barnes & Noble for a group of lucky fans. When asked for comment, one of the lucky fans said, "The heart, you have to stake it in the heart!!! Break off a table leg an...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Two old, unfunny busted whores shared the screen last night when Chelsea Handler was a guest on The Joy Behar Show (you can watch the clip here), where Handler says she will never apologize for calling Jolie a "homewrecker" and going onstage in New Jersey and calling her a "fucking cunt".

“I’ll never apologize for calling Angelina a homewrecker. It shouldn’t have gotten a lot of press because I’ve been making fun of Angelina Jolie since she made-out with her brother. I would never speak for anyone else – or any of my friends – I’m speaking from my heart and soul when I call someone a homewrecker.”

As you read that quote, please keep in mind that Handler's "friend" is, of course, Jennifer Aniston. So, there's really no bias here, just a woman speaking her mind about the time Angelina Jolie broke into Aniston's house and stole her husband at gunpoint then took him to her secret underground lair where she implanted a microchip in his brain to fall in love with her and have children with her and adopt more children and move to France. Oh, it didn't happen like that? Oh, so then basically Chelsea Handler is a bitter cunt whose vagina got passed around like a collection plate to get her show and at the height of her fame she had to settle for blowing 50 Cent? Oh, okay. Thanks for clarifying that for me. I mean, you read things and sometimes it's hard to understand what the person is actually saying.

Angelina Jolie promoting her new film at Cannes Film Festival yesterday while Chelsea Handler was promoting her book on a show on Headline News: