Rihanna held up Grammy rehearsals to hang out with Chris Brown in her dressing room. For five hours. Rumor Fix reports:

Almost three years to the day after Chris Brown was accused of assaulting Rihanna, RumorFix has learned that the former couple spent five hours together in her dressing room on Monday. Sources tell RumorFix that the Barbadian beauty held up rehearsals for the Grammys on the Sony lot in Los Angeles, while she was behind doors with her ex. Chris and Rihanna have been spending a lot of time together lately — including a Superbowl Party at the Greystone Manor in West Hollywood — but Chris’ girlfriend, Karrueche Tran, has always been in tow. We are told that Karrueche was no where to be found on Monday, but Chris was with a male friend when he left Rihanna’s dressing room. And the pop stars will probably be spending even more time together, because both Chris and Rihanna will be performing at the Grammys — although not together.

Just so we're clear, Rihanna held up run-throughs for an awards show that, based on talent alone, she shouldn't be allowed to even clean the floors at. For five hours. To hang out with the guy who did this to her face. At least she's making better decisions now. This is only the second dumbest thing she's done recently.

Rihanna has been hooking up with Chris Brown again. But don't worry! She's in control! From Radar Online:

"They have probably hooked up no more than half a dozen times in the past year. It's very unlikely that Rihanna and Chris would ever get back together though,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com. “Rihanna doesn't care if she were to get public backlash if they were to reconcile, she is the one calling the shots now, which she likes. Rihanna knows that if they were to get back together, she wouldn't be able to maintain that strong role, and Chris would lose interest. They are both very young, and Rihanna would never be able to trust Chris because he has problems staying faithful."

I'm glad Rihanna's only trust issue with Chris Brown involves his infidelity and not the fact that he beat her beyond recognition. It's good to know she finally learned to have dinner ready on time.

Oh good. OMG Music reports:

Chris Brown has got the backing of Bobby Brown - who says people need to give the Look At Me Now singer a break for his past mistakes. "Chris Brown deserves a fair shake," says Bobby, who used to be married to Whitney Houston. "He's a talented young man who made a mistake. He's one of the greatest out right now." The 42-year-old went on to praise the Next 2 You singer, telling Vibe: "The boy's voice is impeccable, and the way he moves - I'm just proud that he's part of my community."

Exactly. Because who better to teach us about selfless love than a violent drug-addict who turned one of the greatest singers in the history of the known universe out with a pool full of crack? And if anybody deserves a break, it's Chris Brown. He can sing and dance so why would we ever think of asking him about the time he caved Rihanna's face in? The poor soul has been hounded constantly in interviews because people seem to think that beating a woman is actual news? Who are these people? It's America. Since when can't you beat a bitch then go home and dye your hair blonde and put on a jean vest then be lavished with praise from confused girls on Twitter? If you can't, I really don't understand America.

Note: If by "community" he means "black people" then me being racist here is kinda pointless.

Not to let a little misunderstanding get in the way of sending dick pics and secretly fucking each other, Rihanna and Chris Brown are basically back together now. Popeater reports:

"You got that pic I sent you?" That's the tweet that is going to be heard 'round the world this week. Chris Brown shot the 140 characters or less over to his ex-girlfriend Rihanna over the weekend, but removed the post -- most likely meant for Direct Message via Twitter -- quicker than you can think of blinking your eye. Last month, Rihanna fans lit up the Internet disapproving of the 'Loud' singer's decision to follow her abusive ex-boyfriend on Twitter. "Its f***in twitter, not the alter! calm down," Rihanna responded to the backlash. Since then, their public interactions have gone the way of crickets chirping, until this latest flub on Brown's part. While the message to Rihanna from Brown was removed quickly, fans were still able to snap a photo of the Twitter feed, which showed up on the not-too-trusty site MediaTakeout.com. The question -- "You got that pic I sent you?" -- is pretty ironic too, considering Rihanna and Brown have both had nude photos of them leaked to the 'Net in the past, with many thinking the other was responsible for the unsolicited publicity.

Whatever. Chris Brown is a bitch, his fans are bitches, and Rihanna just lost any credibility she may have had with her new "empowered woman" bullshit. I like Reubens with extra sauerkraut in case anybody is wondering. I don't know why I just said that. I just felt like I should keep typing but I really don't know what else to add to this story.

While Chris Brown is busy pretending she never existed and was just a fabrication of the biased media to keep his shitty album from selling, Rihanna did an interview with Rolling Stone where she speaks in depth on Chris Brown, crying, and rough sex.

Her feelings on Chris Brown:

"We don't have to talk ever again in my life," she says. "I just didn't want to make it more difficult for him professionally. What he did was a personal thing – it had nothing to do with his career. Saying he has to be a hundred feet away from me, he can't perform at awards shows – that definitely made it difficult for him.".."That's my decision," she says. "It doesn't mean we're gonna make up, or even talk again. It just means I didn't want to object to the judge."

On how she coped after getting beat like a runaway slave:

"I put my guard up so hard," she says. "I didn't want people to see me cry. I didn't want people to feel bad for me. It was a very vulnerable time in my life, and I refused to let that be the image. I wanted them to see me as, 'I'm fine, I'm tough.' I put that up until it felt real."

Her thoughts on rough sex or the excuse Chris Brown fans will need to justify supporting a woman beater:

"Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun," she says. "You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your shit. That's fun to me...I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned – you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I'd rather have him use his hands."

Well, it seems like she hasn't forgiven him, but at the same time is making an effort to get on with her life. Music, movies, and who knows what else. Probably tarot cards. Because every time I hear Rihanna, I fully expect her to say, "DA CARDS DON'T LIE! CALL ME NOW FER YA FREE READIN'!" You know, or something like that.

Not content to be just an unrepentant woman beater and spoiled child who throws violent and psychotic temper tantrums when someone has the audacity question his perfection, Chris Brown just moved into a West Hollywood condo building last month. And he's already the greatest tenant ever! Radar Online reports:

“Chris Brown is a problematic tenant, to say the least,” the source says. “He has his posse traipsing around until the late hours of the night, he’s loud and totally disrespectful of his neighbors. “He’s driving the other tenants in the building crazy. The vast majority of the residents are professionals and they work during the day, so it’s important to them to get some rest at night and that’s proving difficult with the noise that’s being generated. “The building isn’t meant to be some kind of party house, the residents don’t want that and they don’t want to live in that kind of environment." “The tenants are complaining about him and the noise he’s generating, they’ve even had to give him at least one warning. He needs to keep the volume down – people are sick of his behavior.” Brown spent close to $1.75 million on the 3,000 square foot, three bedroom, three-and-a-half bathroom penthouse condo, and only recently moved into the property. “It’s crazy,” the source says. “He just moved in around a month ago and he’s already received a warning. The tenants are just really worried – if he’s like this straight off the bat, they wonder if it's going to get any worse."

There's really not much left to say about this asshole that hasn't already been said, but has anybody mentioned dropping him off on an island where the worst prisoners are let loose to create an isolated barbaric society where the strongest men rule? No? Hmm, interesting. Someone should look into that.

This has nothing to do with ratings. E! Online reports:

ABC didn't plan on filing a complaint against recent Good Morning America guest Chris Brown when he destroyed part of his dressing room this week. Quite the opposite: After host Robin Roberts' questions about Rihanna and Brown's legal woes infuriated the star so much that he threw a chair through a plate-glass window, GMA extended him another invitation to come back on the show!

Indeed, sources at ABC have confirmed to me that producers want to "milk this event for everything its worth," high moral news standards (and, one assumes, laws, especially those involving convicted felons and their subsequent behavior) be damned. And not only was Brown's upcoming Dancing With the Stars appearance next week not canceled, as we predicted, guess what other media deal ABC wants to build with bad-boy Brown?

A reality show, perhaps?

"No, that would never happen here," said a top-level ABC insider, who knows the current situation regarding Brown very well. "What's far more likely is orchestrating Chris Brown talking to Rihanna for the first time."

I'm assured that's a top get to get at the network right now—especially now that all things Brown have electrified the media so much.

Reuniting Chris Brown with Rihanna is such an awesome idea that everyone can get behind. He's demonstrated that he's learned his lesson and can successfully manage his anger. Plus, what he did wasn't so bad. I mean, look--she still has all of her teeth. And c'mon guys, he got a certificate. You have to earn those. Just like I did for making the best brownies at the bake sale. I'm not sure what Chris Brown's secret to success is, but I know mine. For a fudgier consistency, use one less egg.

Here's Vanessa Hudgens at a Suckerpunch premiere. It seemed to fit.



All images from WENN.

Tammy Brook, Chris Brown's publicist, must be some sort of atheist and racist who works undercover for the biased, evil media, because she felt the need to quit. Page Six reports:

Chris Brown lost his marbles on "GMA," and now the hot-headed singer has lost his publicist. We hear that Brown's spokeswoman, Tammy Brook, will no longer be representing him after the star trashed his GMA dressing room, smashed a window and left without his shirt from the morning talk show earlier this week. Sources close to the star tell us she and Brown have decided to end their relationship following his meltdown on "GMA." Brook couldn't be reached last night.

Man, a woman who would rather get unemployment than be around a psychotic woman beater. I think we can all agree that's what just happened. I mean, she'd be better off representing an empty Coke can right now. At least the Coke can won't punch her in the mouth when the maid doesn't fold his socks in the special way he likes.

Jay Smooth has been one of my heroes for a while. This is one of the reasons why:




Pic source = Wenn