You should already have plenty of reasons to love Chris Rock and plenty of reasons to hate Roman Polanski, but let me add one more.

Late in 1998, while separated from his wife, Chris Rock had a one night stand with model, Monica Zsibrita (this ho (NSFW)) who later claimed she she was pregnant with Rock's child and that he had raped her. Although no charges were ever filed, Chris Rock hired notorious "P.I. to the stars," Anthony Pellicano, in 2001 to find out information on Zsibrita during the investigation. Now, two weeks into Pellicano's trial for unlawful wiretapping and racketeering, the entire 31-minute phone conversation has been made available. Excerpts from the conversation include:

8:15
CR: "I know the night we went to the Ivy she had on white pants. I only noticed cause my wife's real classy and subdued and I'm out with a girl with big tits and white pants. It's just, I know people were like, 'heeey'."

14:00
Pellicano (reading from report): "He tried to pull out and ejaculated on her thighs. She immediately got up and went to the bathroom where she cleaned up with a Kleenex. She put the Kleenex in her pocket."

14:55
CR: I've been so set up...
AP: Did you come on her thighs?...
CR: I had a rubber on. I probably took it off right when I was getting ready to come. I probably came on her ass.

30:05
CR: Rape is just fucking, buzz, you know?... Once your accused of rape, you're just FUCKED, you know?
AP: That's why i want to blacken this girl up, totally. I want to make her out to be a lying, scumbag, manipulative cocksucker... Stupid bitch
CR: I'm fucked. I'm better getting caught with needles in my arm. WAY better. Needles, with pictures, there's Chris Rock shooting heroin. Much better blow to the career."

It really bothers me when people put themselves in a position to be accused of rape. Rape should only be used in times of emergency, like when you're on a deserted island. But you're gonna want to make sure it's a tropical island, because studies have shown those to be the most romantic.

Here's the full recording. Thanks, Danielle!


Kerry Washington, Rock's co-star in I Think I Love My Wife. He was also rumored to have hit this during filming: