DJ RevoLucian has my official nomination for "Best Thing on the Internet Today". You want me to trash your lights? You want me to trash 'em? Aww, good.

In what was first reported last July, here's the audio of Christian Bale going absolutely apeshit on Director of Photography Shane Hurlbut during the filming of Terminator Salvation. Finally. Just to warn you, I probably wouldn't play this too loud. Mostly because if saying the word "fuck" over and over is some kind of incantation, Christian Bale might make the guy in the cubicle next to you become a zombie or the hot chick from sales car turn into a pumpkin.

More details have been released regarding what exactly caused the altercation between Bale and his mother and sister. Details like his sister asking to "borrow" 200 grand to help raise her kids. And other details like, when Bale refused, his mother and sister threw a hissy fit and started talking shit about his wife. The Sun reports:

But sources close to 6ft 2in Bale, who has another sister called Louise, said Jenny inflamed the situation by hurling insults about his wife Sibi, 38...A source close to the case said: "Christian is a very wealthy young man and was asked to help his sister out financially. He was asked to loan her $200,000 but he refused and that caused an almighty row. During that row, the women claim, he assaulted them by pushing and shoving them. Both Jenny and Sharon are terribly upset over what happened. They did not want any publicity and the last thing they wanted to do was wreck his premiere evening. But they say he bullied them. They are both devastated that it has come to this but want him to be taught a lesson."...Sharon, who works in computer programming, has two daughters - aged ten and 12 - from a previous marriage and a baby from a new relationship."

I'll admit, having a bunch of kids by different men can be tough in this crazy world. That's why most experts agree that if you do it, you should make sure one of the daddies is an oil tycoon or an all-powerful genie in a lamp. Because if your resume says "computer programmer," using your womb to populate the earth might not be the best business model.

Days before he allegedly assaulted his mother (it was her fault, by the way), Christian Bale reportedly flew into a rage on the set of Terminator Salvation. Friends close to the actor say that Bale has become on edge over the problems in his marriage and depressed over Heath Ledger's death. Uh oh, looks like somebody needs to double their dosage. TMZ reports:

TMZ spies tell us Bale was on the set last Friday shooting "Terminator 4" at Kirtland Air Force Base in New Mexico. During a scene, Shane Hurlbut (seriously), director of cinematography, screwed up a shot -- at least in Christian's mind. We're told Bale went ballistic, screaming "I will kick your ass" along with other choice remarks. Several hundred people heard the outburst -- including Military Police -- which was described as "intense." We're told Bale was "extremely tired and having a bad day."

I don't want to speak for Bale, but I'd like to think that if I was in a movie directed by McG, I would try to kill somebody, too. Preferably the guy in front of me at Boston Market yesterday who took all the creamed spinach. That's right, asshole. Remember me? That's too bad. Because I remember your license plate number.

Christian Bale leaving the Belgravia Police station yesterday:


Photos: Splash

The Dark Knight star, Christian Bale, was arrested by London police today after his mother and sister told authorities that the actor assaulted them. Police were actually going to arrest Bale yesterday, but felt doing so during the European premiere of the biggest movie of the year might have been embarrassing. I think I speak for everyone when I say "What...the...fuck..." The Sun UK reports:

He is alleged to have lashed out on Sunday night at Park Lane's Dorchester Hotel - where he has a suite. Mum Jenny, 61, and sister Sharon, 40, who lives in Dorset, went to a police station in Hampshire yesterday to lodge the allegation. The matter was referred to the Met Police. Detectives, well aware of last night's glittering bash, took the decision not to approach Bale yesterday. But they are expected to make attempts to quiz the Wales-born actor today. A source said: "It was a very difficult situation but it would have been wrong to have wrecked the premiere over a complaint which we don't yet know is founded in truth. "But Mr Bale will be contacted at the earliest opportunity and be asked to provide an account of anything that happened." A Met Police spokesman said: "We can confirm we have received allegation from another force in relation to an alleged incident in central London."

Bale seems like one of the normal actors in Hollywood, so I hope this is just one big misunderstanding. If not, I really hope he used his Batman voice. Girls always get scared when I use that. Not as scared as I would like, but my mom hasn't finished making my cape yet.

Christian Bale at the London premiere of The Dark Knight last night:

By taking in $155.34 million in it's first three days, The Dark Knight has officially broken the record for biggest opening day weekend in movie history, beating Spider-Man 3 by $4 million. Duh. FOX News reports:

We knew it would be big, but we never expected to dominate the marketplace like we did," said Dan Fellman, head of distribution for Warner Bros., which released "The Dark Knight." The movie should shoot past the $200 million mark by the end of the week, he said....The movie's release was preceded by months of buzz and speculation over the performance of the late Heath Ledger as the Joker, Batman's nemesis. Ledger, who died in January from an accidental prescription-drug overdose, played the Joker as a demonic presence, his performance prompting predictions that the role might earn him a posthumous Academy Award nomination. "The average opening gross of the last five `Batman' movies is $47 million. This tripled that, and for a reason," said Paul Dergarabedian, president of Media By Numbers. "A big part of that was the Heath Ledger mystique and a phenomenal performance that absolutely deserves the excitement surrounding it."

Although I wouldn't go so far to call The Dark Knight a masterpiece, it was amazingly awesome and all the hype about Heath Ledger's performance wasn't hype. He was fucking great. If Heath's performance was a girl, I'd try to throw it in the backseat and get it pregnant. So, it's really no surprise that the movie is expected to break $200 million by the end of the week. Making in hot on the heels of Meet Dave, which is expected to break $200 million by the year 2057.

Update:


The new trailer for The Dark Knight isn't supposed to be released until Sunday, but due to technological advancements in cell phones and the magic of the Internet, you can see it today. It looks freakin' amazing, of course, and by the way, I'm calling it now - Heath Ledger will win Best Supporting Actor whether he deserves it or not. The only way he could be more of a lock is if The Joker had down syndrome or could only write with his left foot.

Note: 2:00 - 2:01 = Helloooo, Two-Face.

Here are the first shots of Michael Mann's new project, Public Enemies, a film about the F.B.I's war against notorious American gangsters John Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd. It stars Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Channing Tatum, and Marion Cotillard. Man, I didn't realize criminals were so sexy back then. I bet all the ladies in the bank were excited when it was bank robbery day. It was like their Grey's Anatomy.