Mad Men star Christina Hendricks got married today to some Pakistani dude in a restaurant (these jokes write themselves, people!). So, yeah um, congrats. Star reports:

Christina Hendricks has gotten hitched! The head-turning redhead — who all the ad men lust after in Mad Men — married her longtime love, Geoffrey Arend, at Il Buco restaurant in New York City on Sunday. The Tennessee native wore a Carolina Herrera gown (it was the first dress she tried on) and exchanged platinum wedding bands made by Tacori with her groom, who's best known for his role in Super Troopers. The couple met through Christina's costar Vincent Kartheiser, who plays Pete Campbell to Christina's Joan Harris, in Feb. 2007. They became engaged earlier this year. "He's amazing," Christina has said of her now-husband. "He's half Pakistani, and he has these thick, gorgeous curls that drive me crazy. He's like, 'My curls to you are like your boobs to me.'"

If this chick was an A cup she'd be a third alternate for a Layne Bryant commercial, so you can go ahead and assume that I'm only posting this because of her gigantic rack. And if I can be totally honest, that's basically my reason for everything.

God and I must have different tastes, because I was for sure he'd be watching the Cowboys/Giants game last night since all of the Cowboys fans say that's why the roof on their stadium is open, but obviously he decided to tune into the 61st Annual Primetime Emmy Awards. Apparently he's the only Cowboy fan that realizes Tony Romo has the accuracy of a Mac-10.

I have no idea what alien technology or ancient Mayan curse is holding Mad Men's Christina Hendricks gigantic rack inside this dress, but whoever talked her into wearing it deserves some kind of award. Jesus. Look, I like big tits as much as the next guy, but this is a little intimidating, man. If this chick ever got naked in front of me, I'd be like a retarded kid looking at an algebra problem or a offensive lineman getting called for a false start. I'd be so confused and overwhelmed, I wouldn't even know where to go first. In my defense, there's a lot of different scenarios when the chick in front of you could breastfeed the Cloverfield monster.