Was Wonder Woman born in a Wonder Bread factory and carry a Magic Defibrillator to use after she has to chase criminals up a flight of stairs? I don't get it. New York Mag reports:

Nicolas Winding Refn has a plan in mind for a big-screen Wonder Woman that is sure to intrigue fanboys and please Mad Men devotees. At the U.S. premiere of Refn's Ryan Gosling neo-noir Drive at the Los Angeles Film Festival last night, Refn referenced the Wonder Woman project he's long wanted to make, then pointed at his Drive co-star Christina Hendricks and said, "If I ever get to do it, she's going to be it." Hendricks would almost certainly be game — she told Rachael Ray last year that "I've been wanting to wear that outfit my whole life ... I had Underoos — I had Wonder Woman Underoos."

Don't get me wrong, I hope this gets made. Because I would pay CASH MONEY to see how they film the stunts and introduce her new sidekick, the Hostess cupcake.

Self-aware. That's sexy. New York Daily News reports:

"Men don't really approach me much … " she said on "The View" Wednesday, revealing that it is actually the ladies who tend to come on strong. "Women do come up and they sort of – they're flirtatious with me," she said. "It's funny." When the co-hosts commended Hendricks, 36, for her "sultry" strut often seen on the AMC show, the actress admitted she's not consciously trying to be seductive. "I think I was just trying to get across the room in a tight dress," she said. Sherri Shepherd also called Hendricks inspiring for being shapely, unlike many of the "little thin things" the talk show usually features. "It sounds silly to me," she said when asked what she thinks about being labeled a sexy symbol. "It's incredibly flattering," the TV star added before attributing her image to "Mad Men" and "how stylish it is." Joy Behar wondered whether Hendricks had received any offers to appear in Playboy. "They haven't asked me," she answered, "or if they asked me, no one told me about it."

Men don't approach her? Well, clutch my pearls. I thought she was suppoed to be a sex symbol and the prototype of what every man desires in the female form. Turns out it's just lesbians. Because normally when you mix jagged yellow teeth, corpse skin, a lazy eye, jacked up feet, and 250 pounds together, you won't need to consult a physician to get your erection down.

I was told yesterday that I couldn't judge Christina Hendricks' body solely one picture. So here's another picture. I hope I don't need to keep going. Oh, in this one she does seem to have a huge bruise on her leg. That's something new. I wonder how she got it? Probably trying to escape the park ranger, I bet.

I have no idea why Franklin Delano Roosevelt's wife's bathing suit would be in Italy, but as luck would have it, Christina Hendricks found it and went to a pool. When you're 400 pounds, some of that weight is gonna find its way to your chest, so it's hard to believe that people wouldn't think her breasts were real. Just like the raft would be real when you saw off her legs to make a flotation device.

I didn't post a lot of pics from the Met Ball yesterday because basically everyone looked retarded, but in case you're still on the fence on whether or not huge tits open magical doors of life's wonder and carry you to wondrous places that you'd otherwise never go, here's Christina Hendricks. Magazines, men who weren't allowed to breastfeed, and overweight girls in the comment section will tell you that she's a sex symbol. But cover up the massive rack and her take out of the Spanx and here's what you're left with. A pale fat chick with a wonky eye and Avril Lavigne teeth. Hot, I know. At least she seems pretty happy. Somebody probably dropped a cupcake. "They really want you, they really want you, they really do. Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, but I do too," Hendricks was overhead whispering.

You see Christina Hendricks' wrist? Nice, right? It wasn't for long. Why? Oh, that's because she lost a 124-carat diamond bracelet worth $850,000 that Chopard let her wear to the Golden Globes. No big deal. NY Post reports:

The voluptuous redhead was horrified to find out that after making it up the carpet Sunday at the Beverly Hilton, one of the two bracelets loaned by Chopard had slipped off. Inside the ballroom moments before the show started, the panicked actress asked us, "Have you seen a diamond bracelet? I've lost one that looks like this," pointing at the one glittering bracelet left on her wrist. As the stars were being urged to take their seats, Hendricks -- wearing a figure-hugging red gown -- then hurried out of the auditorium back onto the red carpet to look for the bauble. But security blocked her as she tried to leave the auditorium, as no one is allowed in or out once the show starts. She begged, "Please let me out, I have to give my diamond bracelet to my publicist!" The guard watched wide-eyed as Hendricks pulled the bracelet out from her ample cleavage. He opened the door a crack and she passed the jewels through to her publicist outside.

Please. I don't believe this story at all. Tell me NY Post, how did she pull the bracelet from her cleavage without it getting lost in the four Baconators? Huh? Tell me that? If this story ended with Laura Dern checking her stool before the storm approached I might take you a little more seriously.

Playboy tweeted a pic asking "Who is the famous actress in this photo from the July 1999 issue?", and if the blinding white didn't already give it away, it's Christina Hendricks. You know, Christina Hendricks before she discovered deep fryers and saline.

More sexxxy pictures of Christina Hendricks on the set of Drive were released yesterday, and as you can see, her tits look like they just found a quarter on the ground. I know if I want to be one of the cool kids I have to say that this chick is hot and the ideal of what every woman should look like, but I played saxophone in junior high. What is this "cool" you speak of?