Sex and the City was a groundbreaking show that ushered in a new era of female empowerment. The characters and he stars who played them are feminist heroes, who prove that a woman's merit should not be based on her looks alone. Oh, wait. Scratch that. Page Six reports:

Maybe seeing themselves on the big screen was too much to take for "Sex and the City" stars Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis. Apparently, soon after the movie's release, they both paid a visit to Roosevelt Hospital on 10th Avenue for minor surgeries. "Cynthia had a breast augmentation and soon after, Kristin had the varicose veins on her legs removed," said an insider. "They both made sure they did it on the quietest day of the week." It could explain why Davis always wears long hems. Nixon, whose rep denied the surgery, could have been disappointed with her topless scene. Davis' rep had no comment."

Wow, nothing says confident feminist icon like sneaking into a doctor's office and secretly getting plastic surgery. Granted, all these chicks are hags, so why not Sarah Jessica Parker? The legend says our primitive tools and surgical techniques are no match for her sinister demonry. Run for your life!!

Kristin Davis on June 14th:


Cynthia Nixon on June 6th:

While millions of women lined up to go see this summer's big blockbuster fantasy about four ugly chicks getting laid by hot guys, Cynthia Nixon's girlfriend is currently the points leader for the "Butchest Lesbian On Earth" award. Congratulations! Contact Music says:

SEX AND THE CITY star CYNTHIA NIXON confesses her lesbian lover CHRISTINE MARINONI hates wearing women's clothes. The actress - who has been dating Marinoni since the end of her marriage to Danny Mozes in 2003 - once tried to encourage her partner to wear feminine clothes. But Marinoni was not interested. She says, "She only wears men's clothes. She won't even wear any kind of women's shoes. "I bought her a pair of cowboy boots that were from a women's department, and she was like, 'Don't do this again.'"

Hollywood would have you believe that lesbians have pillow fights in nothing but lip gloss and boy shorts, but in reality, it mostly looks like this and this. Oh, yeah, baby. I can see why this is so hot. Nothing turns me on more than imagining a chick that looks like Frodo prancing around in her new three-button, non-vented charcoal suit. Ooh, la la.

Cynthia Nixon topless, in some movie (NSFW):

The world premiere of Sex and the City movie was in London last night. Single women and gay men rejoice! New York Daily News reports:

It's been nearly four years since "Sex and the City" went off the air. And, judging by the crowd reaction at the film's London premiere on Monday, audiences are starved for more. "We love Carrie!" thousands of fans - most of them female - shouted outside Leicester Square. Despite public grumbling that the New York-centric film premiered outside the Big Apple, Sarah Jessica Parker, who revived her role as sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw in the film, said she was "thrilled" to open the movie in London. She did, however, note that New Line Cinema, which produced the film, decided to kick things off in the U.K."

It's unclear why they called this movie Sex and the City, because the last thing I want to do when I see any of this cast is have sex. Maybe go on an excavation. Sarah Jessica Parker looks like something taken out of a pharaoh's tomb, and the rest of them look like the drawing of an abused child. I think it's safe to say I'd rather watch zombies suck on my bone marrow than see this movie.