Serena Williams showed up at Tom Cruise's thinly veiled Scientology recruitment gathering which was disguised as a more absurd event to welcome Posh Spice and her husband to the United States ...

This "woman" is so butt ugly, I'm confused as to why I'm supposed to be politically correct and say nice things about her because I'm white and she's not, or whatever other stupid reasons I'm given to not point out her ugliness any time we post about her. Okay, yeah, the several pounds of makeup she's wearing, and that zit on her chest, and the piece of double sided tape stuck on her tit, which was intended to keep her manly, saggy breasted torso from busting that shirt open are really pretty. Oh, and I love the crop dusting of gold glitter all over her which is seeping from the corners of her eyes and every hair and pore on her body. She looks like Jagermeister flavored Goldschlager.

I've stared at these pictures for like an hour now and I still have no idea what's going on here. He could be finishing her off or maybe he's pushing back in the sawdust and herbs. Or whatever it is that leather mummies are stuffed with.

The Pig-Nosed Waif made an appearance at the Glamour Women Of The Year Awards wearing this stupid costume. I didn't think "Lil' Kim" was a look anyone would actually be ballsy enough to emulate unless they were starring in a drag show in a floundering Laughlin casino, but you did it, Posh. Way to go.

P.S. Your fingers aren't touching, you big fat fatass.

Apparently tired of being called fugly, plastic and talentless Victoria Beckham has lashed out at celebrity gossip bloggers. She says:

I think these people are pretty spineless, the way they hide behind pseudo-names. They don't really know what's going on in anybody's lives. They're just sad people sat behind their computers."

Aw sweetie, let's calm down, ok? With your leathery skin and hideous implants, it's not our fault you look like some deformed sex robot mummy. Besides, most people in America who don't read this kinda stuff probably think you died in 1998. And by "think," I mean "couldn't give shit."

Posh being pulled over by police a few days ago:


Source

I'm not a tranny, but if I was born a male and chose to be a tranny, I'd be the Pig-Nosed Waif rather than the in-the-closet gay males' icon, Jessica Simpson. Both of those "women" are humped and chiseled, but at least Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham is British. And according to my world travel guide, British trannies tell better jokes than Texas trannies. Don't blame me, blame the Monty Python people, people.

Sources on the set of Victoria Beckham's new NBC reality show say Victoria has pissed off nearly everyone with her "rude attitude and arrogant behavior."

We think she's full of herself and not very nice. She's very picky, demanding and rude. And she was mean to the assistants, too. She waltzes around with her icy attitude. People will walk up to her and say, 'Welcome to America', or, 'Good luck with the move', and she doesn't even stop to talk to them. The show is designed to make her a star in the States, but she's dreaming if she thinks that's going to happen. She's coming off as a grade-A bitch!"

The sources claims that producers of the show are nervous that it will be a flop:

No one knows what to do with her to make the show interesting - she's so boring! Every suggestion the producers make, she rejects."

I'm not a television executive but I wouldn't be throwing money at a show about a woman pouting and posing for thirty minutes. If I wanted to see that I could just point a camera at Keira Knightley every time I told her I don't want to have sex. Sorry, baby, but daddy's tired.

Posh Spice and David Beckham leaving The Ritz:

David Beckham has a reputation as a serial cheater, and what he did at London's Nobu the other night will do anything but help. Sitting with his wife next to a table where former model Kelly Killoren Bensimon (this chick) was eating, Bekham basically raped Bensimon with his eyes the whole night. Page Six reports:

Beckham was straining his neck to check Kelly out the entire time. Everyone at her table was commenting on it," a witness said. "Finally, Posh got up and left, and she barely ate anything." A rep for Beckham told us, "If David was checking anyone out, it was his wife."

You really can't blame the dude, because well, he's David Beckham. He's Michael Jordan if Michael Jordan looked like Brad Pitt and lived in a castle. He probably can't walk three feet without tripping over a pair of wet panties. His wife, on the other hand, looks like she should be serving drinks on Jabba the Hutt's sailing barge. I'm not really sure you can call it cheating if it's in self-defense.

The happy couple at the Sports Industry Awards on March 29th:

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What makes the pig nosed waif look like this - besides the obvious leather coating and hatred of food? I think she pokes a hole in her thumb and sucks it until she's properly deflated. Her nipples are shaped like bicycle tire valve stems, so it's easy to picture how she pumps those ridiculous looking breasts up to the desired size before heading out on the town with her much prettier husband. Posh Spice is so scary looking, I heard flowers literally die when she looks at them. Also, I heard every human who has spontaneously combusted had a picture of Victoria Beckham somewhere near them. So be careful, my friends.

Labels: david beckham, victoria beckham, victoria beckham breasts