David Hasselhoff was invited to Simon Cowell's 50th birthday party in London last week, and since he's a raging alcoholic, he kept the party going! Then punched a doctor. Good times! TMZ reports:

David Hasselhoff was reportedly hospitalized for two days in London after a drunken bender allegedly ended with him punching a doctor in London, this according to The Sun. The Hoff was released yesterday from the Capio Nightingale Hospital, the paper is reporting, after an alleged drinking bender at the St Martins Lane Hotel. He was reportedly in town for Simon Cowell's birthday party and has been partying it up in London ever since. TMZ has confirmed The Hoff was in fact a guest at the St Martins Hotel this week and a guest at Simon's party....We contacted the office of the doctor The Hoff allegedly attacked. An assistant simply said, "No comment" and hung up.

David Hasselhoff would agree to enter a cage fight with a rabid tiger if he thought you would buy him a beer afterwards, so I'm not really sure what they thought two days in the hospital was gonna do. At best, they'd find him in the cancer ward trying to use somebody's IV as a chaser or in the cafeteria looking for the margarita mix.

I know it's probably not cool to make fun of a charity event, but good lord, could the "D" get any bigger on this list of attendees? And was Valtrex one of the sponsors? I don't see Coolio, the lesbian who used to be Anna Nicole Smith's assistant, or the guy who played "Joe the Policeman" on the "What's Going Down" episode of "That's My Mama" anywhere. They must have declined their invitations.


Pictured: Kim Kardashian, Kim Kardashian's ugly mom, Robin "Trannycat" Antin, Kendra Wilkinson, Bobby Trendy, Bobby Trendy's underwear, Jenna Jameson, Gemma Massey, Laurena Lacey, David Hasselhoff