I always knew the Japanese were smart. Case in point- E! Online reports:

The Sum 41 frontman and ex-husband of Avril Lavigne was hospitalized in Japan after three people attacked him in a bar late last night, according to his bandmates, who tweeted the news earlier Friday. There's no word on the extent of his injuries, only that he's "unfortunately still in the hospital" and his pals are "waiting for results and hoping for the best."

Deryck Whibley looks like he should be in green britches and a top hat touting magically delicious sugar cereal and hoarding treasure at the end of a rainbow, but instead he’s the lead singer of a band that, despite being irrelevant for most of the last decade, is somehow still touring. What I’m trying to say is that I’d rather listen to Dane Cook wax poetic on well, pretty much anything, than hear this Canadian asshole sing about teen angst- so I’m totally Team Japanese Bullies on this one. Is it too late to get t-shirts made?

Ryan Reynolds is also from Canada, and doesn’t look like a mythical pygmy: