Let’s head down memory lane, because looking backwards is comfortable and not as painful as wondering how I’m going to pay my taxes this year.



If we just look back one year, we can see how far our little Britney Spears has come on the road to recovery. On Wednesday, January 2nd 2008, Britney Spears was told to give her kids back to Kevin Federline. She didn’t. Instead, she locked herself in the bathroom, where medical personnel had to come get her and forcibly remove her from her own home.

You might remember this because it was on CNN. They interrupted coverage. I think I was getting a haircut at the time…

Also this week in 2008, Lindsay Lohan was in trouble for sipping some champagne on New Year’s Eve in Italy.



In comparison, one of these girls has their act together thanks to their father, and the other one just learned how to drink in secret and give really good head to the same sex.

A year before that, in the first week of January 2007, Todd declared “Lindsay Lohan Will Be Dead Soon” because she was calling in "sick" during her new and exciting film: I Know Who Killed Me, which I had thankfully forgotten about until I wrote that sentence.

She was looking kind of hot when she was all brunette, though:



Also in 2007, Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell were at each other’s throats and Ashlee Simpson lost her top at the beach.

Why couldn’t this week have been that exciting and nipple-ful?

If you're a popular magazine and you're throwing a party for Trump Vodka, you might want to limit the number of naked underage girls you hire to something less than one. TMZ says:

Donald Trump and his vodka line could be in hot water after pics have surfaced of a 17-year-old girl, naked except for body paint, serving (and quaffing) drinks at a Super Bowl party for the vodka, thrown by 944 Magazine. In photos obtained by TheDirty.com, Chanell Elaine Hallett is seen working as a hostess, totally nude except for a little paint. Her drivers license, claims the website, suggests that her 18th birthday would've fallen about a week and a half after the event, which took place Super Bowl week. (And in case you're wondering, it's common for AZ licenses to be good for 50 years.)"

Wow, that sounds like a sexy party. Especially when the hostess talks about her trigonometry homework or how Chris Brown got robbed on yesterday's TRL. Oh my god, can you believe it?!


Note: The images above were obviously not censored or watermarked by IDLYITW.

Some slutty stuff she posted on her MySpace:

The Internet was abuzz yesterday about a receipt on which Donald Trump allegedly left a $10,000 tip to a waiter at California's Buffalo Club. Too bad it didn't actually happen. Page Six reports:

The tycoon says he wasn't even in California ... but Trump told Page Six it was a hoax. "This was done by the stupid restaurant to get publicity," he said. ". . . It's not my signature."

Rich people buy diamond plated rims and finance pit bull fighting rings. Wealthy people tip 15%. They're wealthy for a reason. They're cheap. So good luck trying to convince me that Donald Trump would give some dude $10,000 for bringing him extra bread. A Las Vegas hooker who intentionally says the wrong safe word wouldn't even get that.

The Donald's hot daughter:

Donald Trump tells Page Six that he is currently in talks with Britney Spears about appearing on his upcoming reality show, Celebrity Apprentice. Trump claims that Paris Hilton has also expressed interest and that he is also planning to put an offer out to Lindsay Lohan. Page Six reports:

"We're negotiating with Britney right now. Can you imagine her doing it?” Trump told Page Six. "We're not sure what will happen. She's a fucking mess. And that little reality show she had did nothing. But she likes the idea of being on television and I think she'd be great." Hilton, he adds, "wants to be on, and we're thinking about it, but I don't know if we're going to do it." And Lohan? "Another fucking mess. We haven't asked her yet, but I'm going to call her this week. It would a positive thing for her to do ... for all of them," he says."

Yeah, this is totally going to work. Because the first two people I think of when I think "corporate executive" are Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Good luck on trying to get these idiots to accomplish a task. Trump could send them to manage a hotel and they'd come back covered in tar and feathers and smoke coming out their hair.

Britney leaving her divorce lawyer's office last week:

Continuing his assault on Rosie O'Donnell, Donald Trump bought the giant black leather bustier and panties that O'Donnell wore in Exit to Eden. Why? So he could frame it and send it to Barbara Walters:

I sent it to Barbara to hang in her office because I didn't want it in mine. It was funny, except that it was really gross. It's disgusting," Trump told Page Six. "I feel sorry for [Rosie's] wife. It can't be pleasant."... On "The View" on Monday, O'Donnell asked Walters, Joy Behar and Elizabeth Haselbeck: "You want to hear what a 61-year-old businessman did today? He sent Barbara . . ." Walters interrupted: "But this is for me to say. This was sent for me, it was not sent to you." O'Donnell: "Go ahead, you say it." Walters: "No, I don't want to." O'Donnell: "You don't want to?"
Walters ended the conversation, "I really do not want to stir up the whole Donald Trump thing again" - leaving viewers wondering what they were talking about."

Every time I see Donald Trump now I take off my hat and put my hand over my heart. I'd feel bad for making fun of Rosie if she was just ignorant, but she's a damn hypocrite. It's easy to demand gun control when you live in a gated community and surrounded by ten bodyguards. Japan has the most stringent gun control laws in the democratic world, but the mayor of Nagasaki was shot and killed on Tuesday. Point is, crazy will find a way no matter how many laws you have. Wait, have I called Rosie fat yet? Yeah, sorry about that. She's a cow. Are you happy now?!?!

Speaking of Japan, Masuimi Max isn't Japanese, but she's strangely hot, and half Korean, so here you go:



Source