Hey, Dave here. If that European sub-atomic collider actually smashes molecules together and discover the graviton, I suggest we use that technology to enhance breasts. No more sagging, no more wear-n-tear from bra-less, flapping days of yore.

Doutzen Kroes and the Victoria Secret people already have the next best thing figured out: the transparent bra. It's good for providing support and areola-peeping. And I loves me some peeping. I have subpoenas that say so.

Well, it's officially afternoon in NC so I'm ready to start drinking. But first, we'd like to take a minute to toast all of our readers for making 2008 another great year. We'll be back on Friday, so be on the look out for some of the new things we have planned for 2009 (hint: we'll be posting on weekends, bitches!) So have fun tonight, be safe, and drink one for me. Oh, and if you get arrested, don't worry about it. It's not like it's your fault that the Vietnamese prostitute couldn't pronounce the safe word. What are you, an English teacher all of a sudden?

Victoria's Secret hottie, Doutzen Kroes got naked in V magazine back in 2007, but since nobody knew who she was, nobody posted them. So here they are. I'm not saying I would do anything to bang this chick, but if she was locked away in a castle, I know a fire-breathing dragon that's about to get served.

Click lips for NSFW pics:

Being the newest, and arguably the hottest, Victoria's Secret model must be a a lot of pressure for Doutzen Kroes, but it's nowhere near the pressure this dress is feeling to hold in her insanely hot ass. From the side, she could almost pass for Jessica Biel. You know, if she did some curls and some renegade rows. Or maybe pulled a cart in Siberia because she was training to fight Drago.

I guess being a new Victoria's Secret model has many advantages. Especially when you're looking for the closest 24-hour check cashing place or how much you can get for plasma.

So, here are some lingerie shots of Adriana Lima and Doutzen Kroes from the Victoria's Secret "Supermodel Obsession" book. I'm not in advertising, but almost naked hot chicks is probably a good way to get people to buy things. In fact, it might be the best way. If they made Adriana Lima the face of anal landmines, I'd probably buy at least one in every color.