Some family was on Family Feud (hence the name Family Feud), and they were asked "What is something that everyone knows about Ellen Degeneres. Then the dad answered. I don't want to get ahead of myself here, but I can't shake the feeling that his answer might cost him this month's militia dues.

As we discussed yesterday, Proposition 8 passed this week, effectively banning same-sex marriage in California. In case you didn't know, Melissa Etheridge is gay and has a plan to fight the will of the people. Be warned: it includes liberal whining, taking things to unnecessary extremes, ignorance of historical slogans, and completely blowing things out of proportion. Right on, sister! Etheridge says on the The Daily Beast:

"Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don't mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We're gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you are gay, yeah, that's not so bad. Of course all of the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and gym teachers and such, they won't have to pay their taxes either."

Wow. Maybe this would've been more effective if Melissa Etheridge just didn't pay her taxes instead of telling the whole world that she wasn't. I hope she keeps fighting though. Because for me, it invokes the spirit of the runaway slaves who used to blog on their iMac while on the balcony of their Malibu mansion in between meetings with their accountant and their penguin egg and lavender facials. Oh, wait. Sorry. It doesn't evoke that at all.

I was looking for Melissa Etheridge pictures but my penis stopped on "Melissa George." I hope that's okay:

In May, the California Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in the state, making it possible for Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi and 180,000 other couples to wed. However, on Tuesday, California Proposition 8 was passed by 504,000 votes, effectively overturning the court's decision. Ellen now votes yes on tears. The AP reports:

"Ellen DeGeneres says she is "saddened beyond belief" by the passage of a constitutional amendment in California banning gay marriage. The talk show host said in a statement Wednesday to The Associated Press that she, "like millions of Americans, felt like we had taken a giant step toward equality" by electing Barack Obama as president. DeGeneres says that with the passage of California's Proposition 8, "we took a giant step away."

In case Ellen was unaware, Barack Obama is against gay marriage, so I'm not real sure how she came to this conclusion. Sorry Ellen. It looks like both regular Jesus and black Jesus don't want the phrase "Married Filing Jointly" to ever come up at your house :(

Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres at a Yes! on Prop 2 Party in September:

Hayden Panettiere went on Ellen yesterday and pulled up her dress to reveal she was wearing Ellen boxers. I don't know if this was supposed to be sexy or what. I'm thinking not, because this chick doesn't turn me on the same way child porn doesn't. Or maybe it's because of her gigantic head or her comically disproportionate body. Sure, she has an attractive face, but let's not get carried away here, so does my watch.

Due to the California Supreme Court overturning the ban on gay marriage, Ellen DeGeneres and her girlfriend of four years, Portia de Rossi (real name: Amanda Lee Rogers) were married this weekend. People reports:

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi were married tonight in an intimate ceremony at their home in Los Angeles," their spokesperson tells PEOPLE exclusively. DeGeneres, 50, and de Rossi, 35, both wore Zac Posen and exchanged rings by Neil Lane during the Saturday ceremony. Their big day also featured arrangements by L.A. florist Mark's Garden. The intimate ceremony was attended by 19 guests, including DeGeneres's mom Betty and de Rossi's mother Margaret Rogers (who flew in from Australia for the occasion), who witnessed the couple exchange handwritten vows."

In a related news, my waitress at The Flying Saucer on Thursday night and I also plan to get married as soon as the Supreme Court overturns the ban on my restraining order. Wish me luck!

Heidi Klum appeared on today's episode of Ellen where she showed Ellen Degeneres how to make Swedish meatballs. Naturally, the lighthearted segment quickly turned into a thinly-veiled discussion of men's balls. Ellen said something in lesbian about not liking balls then Heidi Klum said "You should try them sometime," then I knocked a hole in the bottom of my desk. I think the last two might be related somehow.

Heidi Klum's classic 2002 GQ shoot (NSFW):