Yesterday, between Albuterol treatments, Britney Spears announced on Good Morning America that she would be embarking on a summer co-headlining tour with Enrique Iglesias to promote her seventh album, Femme Fatale. Yet mere hours before Live Nation was scheduled to post concert dates, Enrique said whatever is Spanish for, "Damn, she's really fat, huh? Just tell them my mom died or something. Or I drowned in a flood. Pass the salsa." TMZ reports:

Enrique Iglesias dropped out of the upcoming Britney Spears concert tour because his ego couldn't handle being her opening act ... multiple sources connected with the tour tell TMZ. We're told lawyers and agents for Britney and Enrique were hammering out an agreement for weeks, and the terms were finessed to make Enrique appear to be a co-headliner. We're told both sides agreed to the deal and that's why the announcement was made Tuesday. But just hours before Britney's camp went public, Enrique was burning up the phone lines and the Internet, engaging various people connected with the tour in lengthy conversations in which he made it clear -- he was, in reality, Britney's opening act and he wanted out. One source says the deal was actually very favorable to Enrique ... "great terms and great placement." But we're told it all came down to taking the stage before Brit -- too much to handle.

I don't know. That's kind of a dick move. I mean, who wouldn't want to tour with Britney? It's almost Easter. I'd do it for the giant barbecue-flavored chocolate Easter Bunny alone.

I don’t know whether to be turned on or start building him a float for the next Pride Parade. Either way, I’m totally okay with this. According to OK! Magazine:

The 35-year-old star, who has been dating tennis ace Anna Kournikova since 2001, is not embarrassed by nudity and often likes to don his birthday suit with his buddies. He says: "I don't know if I'm cool with it, but I'm not extremely embarrassed. I kind of like making fun of myself. I have five good friends and one of them is an exhibitionist so I think we all follow him. "Whenever he gets naked we all get naked and do stupid things."

Thinking of Enrique Iglesias playing around naked with a group of his friends (who, in my head, all look like him) makes me think of Greco-Roman times where the men wrestled half-naked and looked like Gerard Butler in 300 and Brad Pitt in Troy, and that is definitely a happy place for my brain to be. So thank you Enrique, your self-disclosure has turned my Sunday frown completely upside down.

During his cover shoot in Los Angeles on Monday for People en Espanol, Enrique Iglesias witnessed a Maserati being rammed by the LAPD as it tried to push the sports car off the road. Helicopters and firetrucks were also on scene. Although the ensuing foot chase happened right in front of him, Iglesias decided not to lend a hand because of the obvious reason:

Iglesias, who has a reputation as a prankster, seemed to think he might be getting "Punk'd," and played it cool. Both the police car and the Maserati had to be towed," says the pal. "The hotel told them later there were two convicts in the car."

Yeah, that's the reason. The LAPD were punking you. You. The big star, Enrique Iglesias. The international superstar who hasn't had a hit in three years. Punking you with a car chase and helicopters. Yeah, that makes sense. What makes even more sense is that "played it cool" is publicist speak "screaming like a girl and hiding behind his assistant." Hey Enrique, you remember the smell of that puddle you were standing in? That's the smell of fear.

Wait, hold on...yes. Yes, these pictures still piss me off:


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Labels: anna kournikova, enrique iglesias