Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson have reportedly started talking again, but it's apparently not going according to plan, because Jessica Simpson had her publicist plant a story in the media that she was on a date with Gerard Butler. Page Six reports:

Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler had a date at Soho House Tuesday night, with friends including her hair stylist pal, Ken Paves, as chaperones. "They were at a table with friends, but Jessica and Gerard, who sat next to each other, seemed to only be interested in each other and chatted for hours," a spy told Page Six. "They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together, along with Ken." Publicists for both didn't return calls.

Gerard Butler has gone on record saying that "I have been in relationships with women. And men. That doesn’t make me gay. That doesn’t make me straight.", so what better person to keep the sexual ambiguous party going than Jessica Simpson? Her face looks like a jack-o-lantern and if it wasn't for the fact that she had a "D" in bra size, she'd be telling me about the Aussie Autumn Adventures at Outback. Just $9.95 each!!

God, somebody get this retard a helmet:

I don't know if anybody on set realized the metaphorical brilliance of Gerard Butler shoving Jennifer Aniston in the trunk of a car, but I'd like to think they did.

I'm not really sure how Katherine Heigl became America's sweetheart, because her face looks kinda like a Moon Pie, and when she's not being a raging cunt (see here and here) she looks like something Harry Potter would fight when she's not surrounded by a Spartan army of hair and makeup people (here and here). So here she is at the premiere of The Ugly Truth, where she can be seen smiling because she's tricked the world into thinking she's anything but a marginal actress with completely average looks. Also good a tricks? That elephant at the zoo who rode the tricycle. How did she do that?!

Whilst scouring the interwebs for pictures of Gerard Butler on the beach, I realized something. He does not remove his shirt at the beach. Ever. What the fuck, Leonidas? This is madness. Is this your "Tonight....we dine.....at Denny's!" look?