This year's Golden Globes nominations were announced about an hour ago, and as usual, it's mostly filled with movies that haven't even came out yet. And as usual-er, my predictions are in italics. You might want to print this off, because I'm pretty good at this. I accurately predicted that Heath Ledger would win Best Supporting Actor that one year. Haha, I bet nobody saw that coming! I'm like some kind of oracle!

Best Picture
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The King's Speech
The Social Network

Best Picture (Comedy)
Alice in Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids Are All Right
Red
The Tourist

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky, 'Black Swan'
David Fincher, 'The Social Network'
Tom Hooper, 'The King's Speech'
Christopher Nolan, 'Inception'
David O. Russell, 'The Fighter'

Best Actress (Drama)
Halle Berry, Frankie and Alice
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter's Bone
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine
Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Best Actor (Drama)
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King's Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours
Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine
Mark Wahlberg, The Fighter

Best Actress (Comedy)
Annete Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Anne Hathaway, Love and Other Drugs
Angelina Jolie, The Tourist
Julianne Moore, The Kids Are All Right
Emma Stone, Easy A

Best Actor (Comedy)
Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland
Johnny Depp, The Tourist
Paul Giamatti, Barney's Version
Jake Gyllenhaal, Love and Other Drugs
Kevin Spacey, Casino Jack

Best Supporting Actor (Drama)
Christian Bale, The Fighter
Michael Douglas, Wall Street 2
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Geoffrey Rush, The King's Speech

Best Supporting Actress (Drama)
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King's Speech
Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Jackie Weaver, animal kingdom

The annual circle jerk that is the Golden Globes were last night, and to everyone's surprise, James Cameron's alien epic Avatar won Best Film. Since it has grossed $1.6 billion worldwide and isn't about the improbable love between a crack addicted junior high teacher with HIV and a Wiccan lesbian who was burned after she tried to save her recycling center, many people thought it didn't have a chance. Much like when I entered a Smallest Penis Contest. To be honest, the judges thought I was being sarcastic.

Note: The Golden Globes better be glad they gave awards to Michael C. Hall and John Lithgow. Not to sound crazy or anything, but if they didn't, I would have burned that motherfucker to the ground.

FILM
Best film drama: "Avatar"
Actor in a drama: Jeff Bridges, "Crazy Heart"
Actress in a drama: Sandra Bullock, "The Blind Side"
Best comedy or musical: "The Hangover"
Actor in a comedy or musical: Robert Downey, Jr. "Sherlock Holmes"
Actress in a comedy or musical: Meryl Streep, "Julie & Julia"
Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz, "Inglourious Basterds"
Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique, "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
Director: James Cameron, "Avatar"
Screenwriter: Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner, "Up In the Air"

TELEVISION
Best TV drama: "Mad Men"
Actor in a drama: Michael C. Hall, "Dexter
Actress in a drama: Julianna Marguiles, "The Good Wife"
Best comedy or musical: "Glee"
Actor in a comedy or musical: Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
Actress in a comedy or musical: Toni Collette, "United States of Tara"
Best movie or mini-series: "Grey Gardens"
Actor in a movie or mini-series: Kevin Bacon, "Taking Chance"
Actress in a movie or mini-series: Drew Barrymore, "Grey Gardens"
Supporting actor, series, movie or mini-series: John Lithgow, "Dexter"
Supporting actress, series, movie or mini-series: Chloe Sevigny, "Big Love"